I am with you on this one. Some others may not be, but I don't even care if it is BM's bday, if SS has practice, he needs to be there. Tomorrow is BM's bday, she gets to get up at 530 to have SS at the field by 7 for an 8am game... HAPPY BIRTHDAY }:)

Too funny my exdh did the same thing. They claimed it is his wife's "bday weekend". It is bull shit. You can do what u need to do for your kids and party at night.

his time is his time.... you don't have say over how he chooses to use his time... I understand the annoyance. But I think you need to stay out of it.

I'm going on the record saying I'm with you. I believe that kids have responsibilities...if they are on a team, they need to be there.
I have always felt this way. I think the kids' needs/activities/requirements should come first.
Do the birthday another day.

HOWEVER... something recently happened on here where the dad's kid has an activity that happens to be when his GIRLFRIEND's (not even spouse!!) birthday celebration was planned.
Hands down, posters thought the SM was in the right and the father was called every name in the book...including SELFISH and an ASSHOLE.

So, Steptalkers, why is that situation the stepparent is RIGHT and SHE must come first, but in this case the stepmom needs to take a backseat? Because she's not a poster on here? (Well, she could be...just hasn't posted this yet.)

Nevermind.

Sorry, go DH! lol... wish my husband would do this.

I think it's no big deal to miss a practice especially at age 9. If he never gets the kid to practice that's different but if he wants to miss this time to celebrate his new wife's bday as a family then I think that's fine. He is modeling for your kids that you should respect and cherish your wife.

I would withhold judgment and see how things progress from here. If this is just this once - fine, it is her birthday, it's once a year. If it is going to become a pattern - the kids have to miss their events regularly bc dad and SM need to be elsewhere and are taking them along - that is different. Right now i would give dad the benefit of the doubt.

I am not giving my ex any benefits anymore because he demands that my kids make NO plans for his weekends. They love him and feel really torn. A) it is not clear what weekends he wants them, tomorrow is his weekend, by my calculation, but not by his and how do you not show up for games if you are on the team? He seriously thinks that both have to drop everything so as not to make his life difficult. He lives 50 miles away. In the last 5 years he came to ONE game - because my son BEGGED him for hours. That kind of approach turns my stomach. He can prioritize his marriage all he wants but that is the WRONG message to send to the kids.

Childless SM here - of course my birthday comes before anything the stepshit wants.

welcome in my world!!!!!! My ex is mocking me around like this all the time.We always stick with our committments for the kids and if we need a carer we get one, or we offer politely to swop. Arsehole thinks he can do whatever he wants , his weekend with the kids or not. We are talking about fair play here, it does not matter if you are a BM or SM- but someones unacceptable behaviour towards his committments!! The last thing happened to me in regards of arsehole was that we took the kids last year happily for over 5 weeks when he travelled to Europe.That was all sweet even though we covered for two of his kids weekends.When he returned we asked him to cover for US for 1 week (only !!)in March to go to Fiji.I told him I would only book those dates if he is ok with those dates.After he agreed in writing we booked finally back in November.Last week I sent him a reminder for the times we will leave and he told me straight forward he would simply NOT take the kids after all , regardless of what he said before (even though I have it in writing).He is "busy at work". :jawdrop: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
See, this is what I mean, it is totally irresponsible behaviour to do that to the other parent.We have never done anything like that to him and would never do that to the children anyway.
I dobbed him to his gf , who had no idea and convinced him that he can't behave like this.Now they are taking the kids after all, because she is a nice and decent person.Ex is so lucky being the most stupid f.....tard !! I only hope that Karma gets him.

My goofy DH scheduled SD to have her wisdom teeth out on my birthday once (SKIDS lived with us full time). We changed that appt real quick. So I can see your exH not managing to schedule good.

You need to realize that the SM is going to sacrifice a lot over their relationship and if you let the SKIDS feel they entitled or encouraged to stomp all over her feelings because they want something SM will grow to hate your kids. Has SM ever come to a game or practice, driven them anywhere, watched them, helped pick out presents, made dinner lunch or breakfast for them? I doubt she hides from them and if she is new in the relationship at some point she will do things for them that are frankly not her job but she does to make things easier for everyone. I have sat thru so many freaking band shows, baseball games, skating lessons, cooked meals, driven places etc.

I get it is hard to let go but really think about long term affects because SM could be around for a really long time and you have no control over it at all. You want to teach your kids to respect other people and that includes SM no matter how irritated you are with SM.

Just my 2 cents, but I wish our BM had encouraged the SKIDS to be respectful of me instead of acting like I owed them something. I am currently disengaging from SD and DH is pretty fed up with her antics too. (our BM was a nightmare and at least you seem like you are trying to figure things out)

I dunno. I think this is a situation very familiar with Parenting/Steparenting. Schedules get busy. One can not always be there for every practice & every game all the time (this goes for both kids & adults).

I kinda applaud the Dad in this scenerio!! Hes doing a great thing by including the kids in the BDay celebrations. Hes showing his kids the impirtance of their Stepmom & showing his new wife that she is important too!! We have had a few occurancrs ( as BM overly puts the skids in every sport/event/group she can!! Although, in our situation BM does this to give DH less time with his kids & yeah- shes admitted this so our scenerio is different). We have had situations occur where one of DHs kids has a practice on DHs weekend that he ends up having to not go to- as we had plans with the out-of-state skids to be able to celebrate my DHs retirement from the armed forces, or other events. Sometimes kids have to miss the very occasional game or practice. It happens to intact families as well & isnt the end of the world, it just is.

For instance, The skids are supposed to be at our place next wkend & I absolutely guarantee by Wed BM will have either had the skids call us or she will hv texted us because: skid9 wants to go to a bday party of his friends, skid11 wants to go to yet another boyscout wkend doing another snowboarding event (even tho hes done 3 already ON DHs wkend & SS14 inevitably wants to spend the wkend hanging out with his girlfriend (as BM allows him to everyday unsupervised!!)

For us its never ending and as we are out of state, BM will always find something that the kids can do on DHs weekends!! My point is-- the DH/skid relationship IS more important to their growth & development then some other things the kids would like to do & sometimes they will have to miss games, practices, etc in order to keep their relationship with DH intact. It just is. There is really no "fair" in life.

I personally feel that family BDays are far more important then a practice, etc. family events should always take priority. However--your Ex shouldve planned much better!!