We become parents, usually by choice, and understand that we will be making adjustments/changes/sacrifices (depending on POV). There will always be people who criticize what and how things are done. Being a step parent isn't a lot different, there are still things and people to "share", but oftentimes There is one great difference. Respect. Yes, many of these step kids are in fact KIDS and the respect is not taught or encouraged or actively DISCOURAGED by the bio parents. Many people come here to vent or ask advice, often because there is no one they know in a similar situation or are embarrassed of their feelings. None of us know the entire situation and yet some feel the need to judge or chastise based on what little they have read. Many people try to vent just to be reassured that whatever person they are referring to's behaviour is/isn't common or normal. Most people don't come here to be bashed for their choices, regardless of what we think of them, nor do they come to have people to be rallying for a lynch mob. Constructive criticism, a kind word, or no words are often more helpful than focusing on something that can be picked apart that will make people feel worse or put them on the defense. I don't don't have all the answers, I only know what I have/am/want/will do in MY situation. I only hope my words help someone feel confident in their decisions, hope for other options or at the very least comfort that someone is listening.