So he calls dh today and leaves a message asking dh if he's just done with ss? That's it.

This man has not spoken to dh since September. Has never in the 18 months ss has lived with them ( 2 different times) ever notified dh of an event for ss, has never assisted in facilitating phone contact- in fact my mil has done everything she can to exclude my dh from ss' s life. Last year when dh lived there he was very up front about wanting ss over here every single week, wanting to be as active as possible in all things related to him- he foolishly thought he'd have tons of access to ss with him with his parents- the closest thing to him actually living here. But my mil apparently did not want him over here. She'd say she bring him and then not show up. Dh would call and askwhyand shed say "I didn't feel like it". He'd try and speak to ss, and he would not even answer messagesor speak to dh- formo ths at a time. Then when gift giving times rolled around he'd call dh.

So this time around - my dh has no communication with Inlaws- they put their names on all school related info, they don't even speak to my dh any longer. Months went by in which ss did not speak to dh. Meanwhile he was telling peers wild stories about all of us that impacted all of us. He has given my dd the finger at school, has spread rumors about her, and has made no effort to contact dh. Until Xmas. Dh did speak with him on that day and told him he'd call him later. Well later did not come soon enough and within a couple of weeks the kid texts and tells dh he is done with him. That he has no father. Called him a paranoid, and referenced an argument they had 9 months ago?

So fil calling out of the blue after deciding that HE was done with HIS son (dh)to ask about his relationship with ss-which fil has never facilitated only helped to prevent- is extremely ironic. I don't even understand their game. Is their a problem with ss? Well, if there is then say so! Does ss want to speak to dh? Well, again freaking say so. Or have the kid call and apologize for sending the nasty text. Leaving nasty voicemails is juvenile and ridiculous.