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SD 15 annoys me, I don't know why?

racey80's picture

This is the 3rd year of SD living with us, to start it was great, we had a good relationship, blah, blah, blah. Now, I just get irritated if she hasn't done her chores, or doesn't walk her dog or leaves her shit everywhere. I'm not perfect btw. DH and I have been trying for a baby (after a vasectomy reversal ) to no avail. I blame him a lot, and I'm wondering if my negative attitude towards her is jealousy. Some days I wish she would move back with her mother. I leave DH to deal with her now, but I feel as though she blames me. Does this make sense to anyone out there? I know I'm being horrible, but I can't help but wonder what life would be like if he didn't have children.

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Cdngirl's picture

We have twin lives except my SD is 13 and this is the 4th year she has been living with us. Also DH vasectomy reversal did not work so no children of our own. I went through the blame and anger towards DH. I was grieving the child that we would never have. It is no different than the stages of grief for anything, let yourself grieve. I explained it to DH and he was understanding about what I needed to go through. This actually made us a bit stronger.

Alot of it is also the fact that she is a teenager and all those wonderful things that come with it. I now understand why mothers and daughters need to bond when they are a baby. Smile Don't feel bad I am starting to realize that these feelings are okay, they are mine and it is how we act on them that is the determining factor. I hear some of my friends who are BM talk about how much they hate their own children as a teenager, hell there were times when my mom wanted me to move out of the house at 15. Therefore if it is okay for bios to have those feelings why not us.

racey80's picture

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I really appreciate your feedback, it's good to know there are others out there dealing with the same issues.