So, we dropped SD14 off at the airport for a 6 day visit with BM, which was nice for her, and nice for us. ('us' time is always nice)
As we were traveling home, I discussed with him how I was going to disengage from his mother, and the reasons why ( previous assistance from another member), and after explaining my reasons, he accepted why, and how I was going to do it, and he actually saw my perspective which was great.

We will see how we go.