Another FMIL issue...
If you've read my past blog you are aware of FMIL issue... well today FMIL calls FDH and tells him in a smug voice, "I just want you to know that I went and picked up FSS4 from BM yesterday and took him to see a movie."... Mind you BM lives about 45-50 minutes away from FMIL-def not down the street and she only works in BM's city on Fridays so she def wasn't IN the area... FDH was PO'd because he's asked FMIL to stop communicating with BM because he felt it was innappropriate (the silly thing is FDH and BM broke up when FSS4 was 3mo old and BM and FMIL had a strong mutual hate for eachother) and it also adds to BM's craziness. This ALSO comes after the whole fiasco of FMIL trying to scold him and I in OUR OWN house about parenting. ALSO this past Friday she called FDH and politely asked FDH if she could pick up FSS because she works in BM's city on Fridays and when FDH told her no, that'd he would be picking up FSS she lost her sh*t and started telling FDH that she should be able to pick him up and she didn't know why he was acting like that, and that she had plans to take FSS to have dessert and that's FDH needs to let see FMIL because she's his grandma and she's not going to go weeks with out seeing FSS and it's her right to see him... I was sitting w/ FDH during this call and he just kept shutting her down and repeating, "No you cannot pick him up, if we have time this weekend we'll take him to see you.. repeat" finally he cut her off and hung up, it was ridiculous and surprisingly she didn't call again. After these events it makes me think FMIL is playing a head game, basically telling FDH "F you, if you don't let me pick up/have FSS whenever I want on YOUR visitation, I'll go around you."
I'm not surprised by any of this though because FMIL is VERY manipulative however I don't know if she was really just being nice and wanted to do something for FSS or if she's trying to prove a point to FDH... mind you, she's never done anything like this before. BM has even called FMIL before asking if she could babysit for BM on the condition that FMIL take FSS back to BMs city 45-50 minutes away, and FMIL has always refused because she doesn't want to make that trip to take FSS home... I just don't get this lady...
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Ooh yeah, FMIL does not
Ooh yeah, FMIL does not respect FDH as a parent, adult man, anything... quite frankly she doens't really respect anyone unless you are a part of her church of course...
Same here with the food, part of the big blow out that resulted in FMIL coming into our home to try to delegate parenting was because she told FDH that she "believes" a child should have a choice of whatever they want to eat, FDH told her no, to feed him regular food otherwise Fss couldn't spend the night... she dwelled for an hour and then called going psycho on FDH that she can feed fss whatever she wanted at her house blah blah blah.
I'm sick of dealing with her crap. I always start to feel sorry for her and after any blowout I encourage FDH to call/see his mom because she has zero friends and her family lives about 3 hours from here so it's just her, FDH stepdad... FDH sister and husband are living w/ FMIL until they close on their home and she (she made FSIL choose between FMIL and her Bestfriend, who is also the sister of FSIL Husband, because she thought they were hanging out too much and FMIL was being left out... yeah) but not anymore, I'm tired of this drama. She's getting worse than BM!
Yeeeah, I feel like a total
Yeeeah, I feel like a total lame a$$ becuase I allowed that to happen, never again though. I've been very passive thru everything because I this is SO new for me and I haven't wanted to be disrepectful, my ex had no kids and his mom lived in HI and she was a busy lady, but hell at this point she's disrepecting me and MY home and enough is enough. I won't get in between their relationship but the next she attempts to scold me I'm going to put her in her place.
Yeah, she used to have friends but she's chased every single one of them all away because she's so intrusive and has absolutely no boundries with anyone. smh...
Yeah she's a piece of work
Yeah she's a piece of work alright... the real Sh*tty thing of it all is that FMIL used to be awesome, I REALLY thought I had lucked out in the FMIL dept... however when we bought our home and FDH moved out of her house she flipped the script, it's almost as if she felt threatend by me and is now trying to throw her weight around to show whose boss... It's pathetic.
my mom hates my brother. they
my mom hates my brother. they don't get along at all. i think they are both idiots. my mom has decided that she "no longer has a son". yet she bitches to me that if he doesn't let her see niece5, she will take him to court because "i have rights, too!" i don't say anything, i let her blather on. she doesn't have any rights. i don't know what she thinks she can actually do. even if gp's did have rights, she wouldn't get anywhere because she is a drunk and has been in trouble for being drunk. no judge would grant that lunatic visitation rights. she's so stupid. she didn't give 2 shits about raising my brother and i properly, but she thinks she's gonna make a big stink about my niece. if she is stupid enough to try, she's gonna get a big surprise when she gets laughed out of the court office and can't even file for a date to be heard!
Woooow, that's ridiculous.
Woooow, that's ridiculous. IMO, if you cut the kid off you cut everyone off, there is NO way I'd let her see my kid either if she didn't want anything to with me.
ahh, some people have some nerve.
I have FDH child supp paperwork and in the file I seen the "issues" that they wanted to address in court waaay back when child supp was first est. FMIL was helping him with everything and he was in a dark place and so pretty much let FMIL handle everything, well in file on that paper of "issues" half of these were requests that centered around Fss being w/ FMIL, she even had on there that Fss4 take a 2 week vacation w/ FMIL every year, it was crazy. Thankfully nothing on that "issues" sheet was given consideration...
I had to go through the whole
I had to go through the whole my child will be raised my way or you won't see them with my dad and SM several times. The last was several years ago and just one example of boundary crossing, when my kids informed me that on a trip with their grandparents my dad had thumped my son upside the back of his head with his keys. (he was fairly abusive to me growing up) This ended with me storming into their home grabbing my dads keys and thumping him upside the head and informing him if they ever laid hands on my children again other than a single swat to the butt I'd file charges. I knew he could of done so to me for that but he realized what he'd done. I have never had a problem since with them crossing my parenting boundaries. Grandparents have a place but it is not to replace the parents rules and expectations, ever and when they do it's no different than a attempts at PAS.
It's silly how some G-parents
It's silly how some G-parents somehow think they are entitled to ask like the parents of these children.
Ooh you're totally right about it being just as bad as PAS'ing. FMIL has underminded FDH so many times in front of FSS4 in the past that when she's around FSS doesn't really listen to us.
My MIL did this all the time
My MIL did this all the time when DH and I cut her out for over a year because of her craziness. She became BM's best buddy whereas before she hated her and vice versa. She literally bought time with skid. She gave BM 100 dollars every time BM would let her come get the skid and it was usually once a week. She also underminds DH all the time, skid does not even see DH as an authority figure. Not that it really matters, since DH next to never tries to correct skid unless he is out in public amongst normal people and has to if skid is jumping in their faces or screaming like a wild animal. If MIL is around, skid runs and pouts to her and she scoops him up and rocks him and tells him he is just fine and to go on and keep being a little boy. DH lets this happen so it is his fault.