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Advise

Colinsmom0902's picture

I need advise. My husband and I have been married almost 21 years He has 24 year old daughter from a previous marriage. He has never had a close bond with her He felt her mother got pregnant on purpose and trapped him. I see his point his ex-wife has had two other children with two different men and was not married to either when she conceived them
My SD lived with her mom. We only saw her every other weekend

Ii have always felt bad for his daughter and tried to push the relationship. When she was 16 she met this boy and got very serious with him. I tried to tell her that she needed to concentrate on school and not worry about boys but like most teenagers it fell on deaf years. During that same time her mother 2nd husband left her so my Sd life was a little crazy. The guy she was dating had a way older brother. She felt bad for her mom an wanted to set them up. I begged her not to but she did and sure enough her mom got pregnant (she was still not divorced from the 2nd husband)

I think her crazy mother saw how bad it looked that they were dating brothers so she made their life a living he'll. This of course drove them closer and my Sd ended up pregnant her senior year.

It didn't end their my SD and her boyfriend fight and breakup all the time. They would separate a few months and then move back in. She got pregnant again. They finally got married but still fought

Every time they fight she tells us horrible things about hoe her husband treats her. She says he beats her and doesn't help with the kids. The moment she runs back to him she tells us she didn't mean any of what she said

The last few times they fought she ran back to a old boyfriend who has turned his life around (she claims) She stays with that boy for a month or two and runs back to her husband. This happened again a few weeks ago and when she went back to her old husband I told her I was sick of the lies and she needed help. She got mad and hasn't talk to be since.

Well today I found out that she just found out she was pregnant with the other boys baby. Her husband has left her. I honestly don't want to deal with this. My husband and I have a 10 year old son and I don't want him to think that I accept that type of life style.

I have gone out of my way to help this girl!! She as done so manta messed up things, she even made up a story about my husband (her father) doing things to her. She doesn't even take care of herb two girls. They live with her mother and her husband (which is the girls uncle).

I raised my son so differently than the life she lives. I don't want my son thinking anything in that lifestyle is normal. Honestly I'm embarrassed to be associated with them. My husband is no help. He ignores her when she does come around. I feel like I tried my best but I just don't care anymore. Is it bad to want her out of my life??? Thoughts??

Comments

Kes's picture

I would say let her get on with her ill-considered life and try to disengage, as it seems your husband has already done. 24 is plenty old enough to be managing her own affairs, and there is no reason for you to get drawn into the chaos.

I can't really see why there seems to be such a sense of guilt on your part for not wanting to be part of this mess. You tried - it didn't work - she is an adult and has been one for a few years now. No need for you to be involved any more.