I have a two year old and expecting my second in July. We planned this one as I wanted to get it all out the way and I only wanted two kids so partner can have the snip after this one's born. The way I see it is I didn't want to go past the nappy and interrupted sleep stage and not want to go back. Also, I didn't want to get one kid sent off to school and then have to deal with another baby, this way they'll start school within a few years of each other and i can go back to work properly. Obviously, it's going to be hard but that's the way it is. You find things just tend to fall into place, if you dwell too much you'll end up only thinking of the negatives. For instance, with my first we only had a one bedroom flat and was worried about how we'd survive financially. It's all worked out though and now we have a 3 bedroom house. We have the big bedroom, Skids one room and my son had the other (we only have Skids weekends though and spend times during the week). I don't plan to move again so we'll have baby in our room for the first 6 months /year and then we'll move on with my son. The Skids are in their teens now so will only be a couple of years until they stop coming over to stay so baby can have that room then.
Of course, not everyone has the same mindset as me so I can understand why you'd be worried about it.

((((hugs))))) i didn't have babies back to back, but my little princess DD1 1/2 was a shocking discovery!

Oh the feelings in the beginning. I understand how you are feeling.

No insurance, knowing I would have to work at home, dreading telling people cause some might be mad or disappointed, me and fdh are not married (live in small town) people are gonna talk, i have to start over (other two are teens), last pregnancy was miserable, 3rd c-section possibly, no room in the house for a baby, etc....and so much more.
These were things I thought about constantly during the shock period. It seriously took me a couple months to get over being shocked.
*sigh* it was rough goin through all those feelings. In the end I had to say, "who doesn't love a baby?" The ones who don't love our baby because of their own stupid selfish judgemental reason can go suck it!

No insurance. Yup I didn't have it. Wasn't gonna get married just for it either. So yes people I sucked your tax dollars up for a spell to have my baby. She has insurance through her father now. Pregnancy was normal, few small bumps in the road but was fine. fdh was amazing. He didn't go through all this with his other kid so my pregnancy was a first for a lot of things. My side for telling people was my two kids. That was who I was worried about I thought for sure my BD would be pissed. I thought they would be so disappointed. They weren't. If they were they didn't show it, and if they were at one time when I started to show it changed everything.
People were supportive. At least to my face they were. Like I said when the idea warmed up to me I didn't care if they weren't.
It is what it is sometimes ya know?! DD sleep in our room still, I quit my job and started working at home which is starting to die also. Yes we struggle financially, but we have the basics!
The way I grew up at times we didn't have the basic's. It was not a pretty picture growing up. With my first marriage I got swept up into money and material. When I started thinking about divorce and all that I had two kids and a decent income, but I was scared. I wouldn't have this or that, my kids wouldn't have this or that, etc.....
One morning it hit me like a ton of bricks. What is the most important things? Food in our mouths, roof on our head, and clothes on our backs. I had to say, "hey, your kids will never go hungry, will never be homeless, and will never be naked." The rest doesn't matter. They had to share a bedroom for those first couple years post divorce. I felt bad, they complained sometimes, but at the time "it is what it is"

There really is truth to the saying of don't sweat the small stuff. Like the bedroom situation. Talk to the older generation, let them remind you of how their family of 7 plus lived in a 3 bedroom farm house. LOL
You can't change how your family accepts the news. BUT you CAN tell them to keep their negative comments to theirselves. They don't HAVE to ask the questions, of "well what about insurance? where will the baby sleep? you guys don't have a big enough house. blah blah blah." ALL of that is NONE of their business really.
You can politely tell them, "the things you keep asking and bringing up I understand. We are not blind to our situation. Some things we will deal with as they come, and some we are handling right now. What I need from you is just to be emotionally supportive of this rough time I am going through right now."

I know something are just easier said than done especially when emotions are so high right now. I hope that when the shock wears off you can put things into perspective and eventually enjoy your pregnancy. Best of wishes. and congrats.

My first baby was a shock. I was young, in college and I was not in a serious relationship with the guy. He was a good friend. One night. One time. We were even careful. My parents didn't know him. I was devastated. My parents were through the roof pissed off. We looked at all the options. Decided to keep the baby.

You know who you haven't disappointed? Your new baby! There's going to be another mouth to feed and another little ball of love in your home. And who cares if the kids have to share a room? That happens. Babies don't spend time in their rooms so take all the space you need. I had twins on my second fun pregnancy ride - also scary.

Just ignore what other people think. I spent most of the pregnancy crying and throwing up. I refused to tell anyone who the father was until the night he was born. His father and I ended up good friends and got married and had the twins eventually. No one remembers that I was a pregnant unmarried 19 year old mother. They see what I am now. I did have my first son with Medicaid, but now I pay a lot in taxes and I remember that once I needed help and I got it.

The minute I saw my first son - I didn't care what anyone thought or how we were going to make it work. I was going to give that child the best life possible. He's 8 now and pure joy.

First of all, congratulations!!! Take it one day at a time and try not to overthink things. It is what it is. It is great to have your kids close together, and if sd gets along great with the baby now, she will welcome the 2nd. Times are rough now for everyone, harder now then when I had children (my youngest is 24).

The state insurance is there to help you, it's what it is for. It does not mean that you will be living off the government for your entire lifetime. You take advantage of what is available for your children. This does not make you a loser, not by any stretch. Your pregnancy will be covered, make an appointment today.

Tell your families you are expecting, you are happy about it, and committed to making it work. If they disagree with you or comment on your situation, do not engage. Simply say " I am sorry to hear you feel that way, perhaps in time you will change your mind." Your family is your spouse and your children and what works for you. Your parents and in laws are not necessarily entitled to their opinion on your life's decisions, or they are, but not free to comment on them in your presence.

As a mother and a mother in law myself, my children, my skids, and their spouses live their lives with limited input from myself and dh. We never give advice to them, and if we are asked it is on a very limited basis. I let them know that we stand behind whatever they decide for their families.

Good luck!!!!

My sister and I were born 12 months apart. My sister wasn't planned either, but like everyone else said, it was so much easier. I was potty trained a little later, she was potty trained a little earlier, so all the milestones my parents needed to go through were done together.

There's a book out there on how to deal with close aged siblings... urk... I know my mom read it but it's translated from english into chinese so I am unsure of the title.

Ok. My youngest was a surprise. I found out I was pregnant with her on my oldest daughters first birthday. My ex was less than excited and our marriage fell apart from what seemed to be the moment I told him. We eventually split when youngest was 1 year old. Now youngest is daddy's little girl. They are inseparable.

My point? Things have a way of working themselves out when it comes to adding a new child to a family. It may not be what we want or how we expected it to happen, but it works.

Hang in there Panda, it's going to be ok. Good luck with your interview.

I know you feel overwhelmed right now, but it will all work out!

Three years ago, I was in your shoes, with only a few differences. DH & I had decided that we were done having kids after BS, now 6, was born. After all, we had FIVE kids between us at that point. Imagine my shock when I started feeling ill at work one day. I chalked it up to just being a stomach flu until a co-worker teased me about being pregnant. My heart jumped into my throat and I ended up leaving early. I stopped at Target, got a test, and took it in the store restroom. Two pink lines, plain as day. I sat in my car & sobbed before heading home. You see, I was working full-time, responsible for covering ALL of the bills, and could barely even do that. DH had been searching for a job for over a year but hadn't found anything. He was about $10K behind on CS. The 3 skids were PAS'd out of their minds and hadn't seen or spoken to DH in 6+ months at that time. We lived in a 2 bedroom house with my DD, BS, my mom, and my little brother. "How are we going to afford another baby?! Where are we going to put it?! How will the skids react to the news?!" We weren't speaking to DH's family, so that wasn't a worry of mine. All I could do was cry. When I told DH, all he could do was laugh. I was shocked. "Why are you laughing?!" His answer? "What else am I supposed to do? Getting upset isn't going to change anything. We're having another baby. It's going to be ok." And you know what? He was right.

DH found a job that he loved and that pays well enough that I can be a stay at home mom. I started a small online business that I run from home to help ease the financial burden on him. He's nearly caught up on his CS. The baby news actually brought the skids back around, and even helped build a decent relationship with BM. (which has since tanked, but that's another story.) We moved into a larger home. No, it isn't nearly large enough for everyone to have their own rooms, but it's much better than the 2 bedroom! Everything that I initially panicked about has found a way to correct itself. I did, however, order the baby factory be condemned via tubal ligation during my c-section. LOL.

No matter how tough or scary it may seem right now, it will all be ok! You're having a baby! A sweet, snuggly little bundle of love and joy. Congratulations!