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O/T SUPER JEALOUS....

LittlePanda's picture

Submitted by LittlePanda on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 3:04pm

Ok..so, my husbands best friend asked him to be the "god father" of his child. The child is not a baby, is probably close to 4yrs old. The family is supposedly Catholic. I was raised in a very Catholic family and I know that the role of a god parent is to help guide the child in the religion and church. A god parent has to be a devout and practicing Catholic (DH is neither), has to be confirmed in the church, and, if married, must be married to a catholic under the catholic 'law' if you will. None of these things describe my husband. Anyway..if his best friend just sees a god parents a a friend who will help look after the kid in life, that's fine, but I know from my youth that Catholics are pretty strict about the rules and practice. So, that being said, I doubt that it will even pan out, and, if this friend is truly a Catholic (and his family most certainly is,) he will realize that my husband cannot be the god parent under Catholic faith.

So here comes my jealousy...the god mother is my husbands EX. Normally, that would only irritate me slightly, but this EX was kind of like..the love of his life..on again off again. He even cheated HARD CORE on BM with this chick and went to extreme lengths to deceive her and make her think he was in love with her (bm) and going to work and this family man, when really he was sneaking out and fucking this broad. I know that I am not BM, he was with BM for less than a year and they had a terrible, party fueled lifestyle...but I am very uncomfortable over this. Not only that, but my husbands best friend, the EX, the best friends baby mamma, and a fair number of the guests there will all be from the same social circle that I was never a part of. It's almost symbolic to me because my husband and this ex were like..the token couple of the group..and I find it very awkward. I freaked out a little but am over it and I won't stop my husband from being a part of this all..its just really weird.

Comments

LittlePanda's picture

Submitted by LittlePanda on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 3:11pm

Not to mention that the ex and my husband had started to reconnect right when I came into the picture and I was deceived by him on multiple occasions about their communication..so...awkward.

LittlePanda's picture

Submitted by LittlePanda on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 4:17pm

Actually I don't buy into this....I cheated quite often in my past and have been 100% faithful to my husband and I believe that the same is true in his case. Also, he wouldn't get away with cheating, we keep each other under lock and key Smile

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 3:21pm

Not appropriate at all. Technically only one of the two godparents has to be a catholic in good faith...

godess-clueless's picture

Submitted by godess-clueless on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 3:40pm

Your DH was asked----Does not mean he must accept. Instead of creating a rift in 2 different relationships, why doesn't the ex and her present significant other play the role of godparent. If you are not a part of this particular circle of friends then how can your DH have such closness with them.

I remember my own children's catholic christenings over 30 years ago. Family members were the godparents. Most young people do not have the same friends during the 20 years of raising the child. People move, friends come and go.

Sounds more like a round about way to bring your DH back into the fold of past friends.

LittlePanda's picture

Submitted by LittlePanda on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 4:20pm

The circle of friends was from his past and he has hardly even spoken to this "best friend" since I came into the picture so that makes me even more annoyed that he wants to do this. I agree, it does seem like a way to bring him back into the fold and even more inappropriate that he is going to be doing this symbolic gesture with the girl that he dated, and quite seriously, in that circle..ugh.

LittlePanda's picture

Submitted by LittlePanda on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 4:23pm

Unfortunately this is how I feel. He has not spoken to this ex at all....that I know of anyway, in at least 2.5 years. Last night when his friend called him he got really weird and excited and stepped outside. I followed him and when he was done on the phone he said he had to tell me something, that friend wanted him to be the godparent, and that EX was going to be the other one. He was like...exploding with happiness and excitement..and when I called him out on this he said it was because he was going to be a godparent...um..yeah fucking right. I then found out that he fount out YESTERDAY that he would be the godfather, and he wasn't excited enough about it to even remember to bring it up in conversation..yet, when EX is involved he is positively exploding at the seams with exictement. wtf ever...ugh.

LittlePanda's picture

Submitted by LittlePanda on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 4:24pm

All I know is that if there is some sort of dinner or something after the ceremony there is no way in hell I will be ok with going..just what I want to do, go hang out with a group of people that were super tight with him and his ex.

Pinki3663's picture

Submitted by Pinki3663 on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 4:39pm

I was in the same situation with my SO. He had cheated on BM for a long time with another married woman. He stopped seeing her while still married to BM. I had heard the rumor around work so on our first date I asked "how goes it with ***?" He was shocked that I even knew but told me the truth about everything.

She occasionally tried to contact him by text, so he blocked her number, tried to friend him on FB, blocked her on FB. She finally had enough balls to try to chit chat with him while we were grocery shopping, SO simply said "Pink knows everything, I am very happy and I would appreciate it if you didn't talk to me anymore. This he did without any kind of encouragement by me..that is the only way it can work. If you have to nag him to death about any female there is an issue. If he wants to pretend to be blind to the problem then there is a much bigger issue.

Unless he is secretly excited about is unforeseen reunion with this woman he should have no issues saying that he is not comfortable and put you and your feelings first in this matter.

LittlePanda's picture

Submitted by LittlePanda on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 4:55pm

I feel like it would be wrong to ask him not to do it, and I have not asked him not to. The friend, even though they don't see each other much, is like a brother to him. They have been through many, many life experiences together and he is like a son to this guys parents and family. In fact, the reason I have my job is because of this family and I feel that it would be wrong to let my jealousy ruin that for them.

I just didn't like how excited he seemed..I may have imagined it but I doubt it. He was giving off this intense energy and talking loud and quickly and very happy. I just hope that this chick doesn't try to contact him now that they will be sharing this common interest...no way. He did tell me about it the second he found out though, and that is a good sign I think. I just don't want to be sitting there with a bunch of people from his sordid past including THE girlfriend. BM has nothing on this girl..this girl was like..the main person before I came along.

oldone's picture

Submitted by oldone on Fri, 02/01/2013 - 5:01pm

I am a non-Catholic godmother to three children. I could not even tell you the names of two of the godfathers. I have no relationship with the other godparent.