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Here We Go Again...

AtMyWitsEndNY's picture

Well, this weekend did NOT turn out good at all. As usual, as with each and every weekend my boyfriend has his daugthers, there's an issue. Or many issues.

I blogged in the wee hours of Saturday AM about my boyfriend's guilty money spending (in addition to child support) on his daughters and how he rarely provides any financial support for our two sons and myself.

He's so angry with me for fighting with him on Friday night about him spending money of more clothing for his daugthers that he told me: "I regret you. You're a fcking mess!" ... He also cut us out of family functions that were planned (his sister's son's baptism). He went alone with his daugthers. He also deleted our photo (which was his profile picture) on facebook. He won't respond to any of my text messages...

I had texted him and apologized for the way I had attacked him on Friday night about his spending and told him that I know I should have waited until after the weekend to discuss my feelings with him in a civil manner. I also told him that I do love him. No response.

I know he's the type of individual that needs to be handled with kid gloves when issues arise that upset me but I totally let my anger get the best of me and I popped off. He strictly looks at every issue I have as a personal attack on his daugthers. He can never see my side completely because he thinks I hate them. I reality, I do not hate them, I hate what they represent and I hate that he constantly puts his daugthers before his life with me and his sons.

We are stuck in this cycle. Sad He won't speak to me. God knows how long he's going to give me the silent treatment. I don't know what to do.

Comments

smdh's picture

Absolutely. He may not want to support you and his sons now, but a court will make him. He doesn't get a free pass on his other children just because he thinks he has more control over that situation.

AtMyWitsEndNY's picture

If I file for child support...that will be the end of my relationship competely. I'm not sure if I want it to be over. I want him to change. Sad Sad

nothinforya's picture

People don't usually change just because we want them to. You chose to make two babies with this man. That may have been a big mistake, but it's too late now. You need to grow up and face the place to which your choices have brought you. You have two babies to care for, most likely on your own. Think about their welfare.

Over_that_tude's picture

He may not change! He is punishing you for expressing yourself by giving you the silent treatment, not inviting you or your childrent to famiy functions, deleting photo, etc. etc.

Is this the life you want for yourself? Seriously, I cannot type this fast enough, but please think of the message you will be sending to him if you continue apologizing, calling, texting and all that. You don't want "what" to be over? The "relationship"? Why do you want more of what he is dishing out?

As dog person said...what more red flags to you need to see waving...this man has shown you how he handles conflict, now unless you are willing to settle for this type of treatment, get out now!

Do not believe he will change...please don't tell yourself that in order to hang onto him.

AtMyWitsEndNY's picture

Thank you so much vickmeister. I've said to him many times that I think he's BPD...

oldone's picture

The worst thing that can happen to a young woman is to fall in love with a total asshole. I've BTDT. I know what it is like to just be obsessed with someone to the point of being willing to put up with anything just to get a crumb.

The hardest thing I ever did was leave that bastard. I mourned him for sometime I'll admit. But fairly quickly I realized life with him would be a total disaster.

Within two years I met a nice man who treated me well. We spent several years together.

You deserve better than this. GET OUT NOW.

Willow2010's picture

I want him to change.
++++++++++++++++++++++
Oh hun...that rarely happens. Think of you and YOUR kids at this time.

princessmofo's picture

You've just been handed a golden opportunity. Now run! And don't look back. This man in an emotional fucktard. Count your blessings. I agree with previous posters. File for CS. Change all locks and codes and throw his and his dd's crap out in trashbags on the corner. Send that text message with a picture it on the corner and see if that merits a response. What a dick.

New second wife-step-mom's picture

I want him to change.

^^^^^ Didn't we all want that at one time or another? And then reality set in.... You either live this way the rest of your life or get out.

YOU keep holding on because you want this guy to change and he is running over you and YOUR children like a steam roller. Do you REALLY want your children to grow up in this environment? And see their mother being emotionally abused?

I wonder if he will eventually turn on your CHILDREN? Don't you want better for them? If you are not strong enough to get out for yourself do it for your children!