Ok, so if you haven't followed my story I will give you a quick backstory, if not, just skip to next paragraph. My fiance(FDH) has a SD5 who has a BM that is unbearable. BM had framed pictures of my FDH and BM all over her house, BM calls up to 10x a day, asking what SD5 ate, where she slept(in bed with FDH and I or alone) what she is doing, where is FDH, what are his plans, etc,etc, etc. EVERY DAY! Whether we have SD5 or not. We now have her about half the time, but they have NO schedule for her and that contributes to BM's daily calls to find out when SD5 is coming home, when FDH is picking up SD5, etc etc, etc. I have been putting up with this for 2 months and now FDH's mother(MIL) is here visiting. MIL has told me that she would NEVER put up with BM's behavior and that I am being a doormat. MIL spoke with FDH and he finally spoke with BM and is now making changes to the schedule and BM's calls. BM replied by calling him a faggot in front of her whole family and he did nothing.

But now, FDH is telling me that he is doing ALL of this only because I asked him to, that he is extrememly stressed and when he was single he didnt have to worry about these problems. He said that after this I BETTER NOT ask him to change anything else. He has also said that MIL is talking badly about me to BM and so I shouldnt trust her when she talks bad about BM. I have asked him point blank, "do you honestly not get bothered by BM's constant calling?" he replied by asking me for proof of her calls. and said that she just wants to know how her child is. I said I am not going to play that game, I have been living with him for more than a year and we both know how often she calls.

I told him, I dont want you to do anything only for me. I want you to make a decision from your heart. Do you honestly like BM's behavior towards you and the way that things have been with you and BM? Do you honestly think that it is normal?? Or do you honestly think that things need to change? If you dont think that anything should change you need to be honest with me and I dont want you to change. I will just make my own decision from there. I am NOT a controlling person and I dont intend to start now. He told me he only wants peace and he is now in the bedroom thinking because he told me he couldnt take anymore of this conversation.

I CANNOT for the life of me understand why he isnt bothered by BM's behavior and I feel that she controls him and his thought process WAY more than I do. She is extremely fake and I have NO INTEREST in controlling a man, if he loves me and we share common life goals and interest, good, if not then its time to say goodbye.

WHY IS THIS SO DIFFICULT??? what are your opinions???? please advise!!!!