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Dear SD5

Wishitwasdifferent's picture

I will never be able to tell you how I feel when your around so I am getting it down on paper instead, all of the hurt and anger and frustration at your Dad, who is so smitten with you that even when you are being an out and out spoilt little brat, he see's no wrong in whatever it is you do.

There are NO boundries in your life, no rules, no consequences. You get what you want. Always.

Your paternal Grandma openly admits that your her life now and she does far too much and enables your Mother to continue to be the useless arsehole that she is, she doesn't work, she doesn't have to, between The State, Your Dad and Your Paternal Grandma, they allow your Mother to live a life of slobbery at home all day on Facebook and spending money on shit, good old Grandma even buys furnite for your house, yet she couldn't even send me and your Dad a congratulations card on our recent engagement, yes your Mother truly is The Goose that laid the Golden Egg.

I work hard and full time and always have done, I am educated and articulate and I pay my own way, I even pay 50/50 on the food and utility bills and rent, despite the fact that your there several times a week using the heating as Daddy says it must be on, the bloody lights left on when you go to bed and you picking and choosing and then leaving the food you want, why should I pay half, I feel so sick most of the time I barely eat and YOU are the reason I feel sick.

Your Dad is only happy when your around, he is a family man and wants me and you to get along, he will not admit that you treat me in a bad and disrespectful way, you insisit I get off the sofa if you want to cuddle with Daddy, he should tell you NO but he says nothing, don't upset Princess for fucks sake.

The sad thing is your only 5 and I hate to think what a little Diva you will grow into, it is going to get worse so I am forced really to give up the man I love as I cannot stand you anymore.

Every second your in my home I just want to get out and scream, hearing your voice is so annoying and seeing you makes me want to vomit. It's a shame, your Dad and I are happy when your not around and he just's wants us to be happy when your here, but that isn't possible so very soon I am going to have to bail out, then you will have Daddy all to yourself................for a while.....but be careful what you wish for you little shit as your Daddy won't stay single for long and then you really might get The Step Mum from hell, I was good to you, you took the piss and now I don't want to know.......you will get what you deserve.......in time.

Comments

Willow2010's picture

WOW!! Why on earth would you get engaged to a man if you clearly hate his 5 year old child? A child that makes you sick. Do you think this will get better if you marry him?

FYI – I think you are really miss placing your anger here.

stormabruin's picture

I agree with ALL of this. ^^^

Hating a 5-year old because of the way her FATHER chooses to behave toward her???

The man you love is the problem here. I'm not sure how you've determined that the fault lies ANYwhere else.

Anon2009's picture

The person you need to discuss these things with is your dh...she is 5, so it is up to her dad to make changes and parent her properly. Resenting her will get you nowhere good. But making dh feel that resentment will make him change things.

RedWingsFan's picture

I wish I could say that it gets better but when I met SD14 at age 12, she was exactly like your SD at age 5. She's 14 now and she's just as bad as she was at 12 but the difference is DH isn't falling for her bullshit anymore. Now, she's being PAS'd by BM and BM's boyfriend and doesn't even want to see her dad. So, in my experience, it isn't better but at least I don't have to put up with her shit anymore. Just the aftermath of DH's heart being broken time and time again by this little twit.

I am trying's picture

Yep!! I met my SD at 3 years old and she is 13 now and still acts the same (basically)...baby talk, playing the victim, manipulation, etc. But just like RedWingsFan, my DH also finally caught onto her BS and now we just call her out on it all the time. At the movies the other night DH and I were getting a drink and he asked SD if she wanted something and she answered in the most quiet, babyish voice I've ever heard, despite the fact that we were in a noisy place. So DH said loudly "Talk to me in your big-girl voice" which of course embarrassed her since there were other kids her age nearby who were talking in normal voices...unfortunately she repeated herself in the same baby voice so DH didn't get her anything because he said if she couldn't ask for it properly she didn't deserve to get it....hahahaha!

RedWingsFan's picture

^^^NICE! That's the key to this stuff. Their fathers have to recognize it and put a stop to it, otherwise they will continue acting this way!

When SD14 at 12, would follow her dad to the bathroom because she didn't want him out of her sight, I asked her (after witnessing it for the 4th time) "SD, why do you follow him to the restroom? Don't you think he needs privacy?" And she said "well, I have to tell him something" So I replied "But, can't it wait till he's out of the bathroom?" And she said "NO, he needs to know NOW" You know what he NEEDED to know, right then and there while she sat outside the bathroom door as he was sitting on the toilet? "Mom said I could have Rachel over tomorrow night after you drop me off at home so we're going to hang out in the backyard and play with the dogs".

You know what I did when I'd had enough of it? I followed HER to the bathroom and sat outside the door asking her stupid ass questions. She finally asked me to stop because she needed her privacy!!!! When DH saw me, he asked what the Hell I was doing I said "you get it now? She does this exact same thing to you, but YOU allow it!" The next time she followed him to the bathroom, he pretended he was going to open the door while still sitting on the toilet and told her to get out of our room!!!! (our bathroom was in our room and she used the main bathroom).

Had he not did something about it, she'd likely STILL be following him all around like a lost puppy. She did the same at the mall, at friend's homes, restaurants, etc. It was unbelievable.

stormabruin's picture

She can not like whomever she chooses to not like. The problem is that her anger is misplaced, meaning OP is refusing to address the real issues because she's "in love" with a man who teaches & enforces the behavior OP hates. How can she love the man who teaches his child that it's okay to disrespect the woman he "loves"?

"Your Dad is only happy when your around, he is a family man and wants me and you to get along, he will not admit that you treat me in a bad and disrespectful way, you insist I get off the sofa if you want to cuddle with Daddy, he should tell you NO but he says nothing, don't upset Princess for fucks sake."
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If dad can't be happy when his child isn't around, the relationship is already a failure. HE fails to parent. Failure for a parent to behave like a parent is not on the shoulders of a 5-year old child.

HE is choosing to to allow his child to boot OP from the couch for cuddle time. HE is choosing to teach his child that she has authority in the home.

This child is simply living what her parent is teaching her. That's what 5-year old children do.

OP needs to write a letter to daddy, & then give some real thought to whether or not this is the kind of relationship she wants to carry forward.

Believe me, this child is learning young. If HE doesn't change his behavior, she certainly isn't going to change hers. This is what your future holds if you choose to stick it out for the sake of "love".

ETA: I just went back & caught this "It's a shame, your Dad and I are happy when your not around ", so I have to wonder, which statement you posted is true & which is not?

"Your Dad is only happy when your around" or "your Dad and I are happy when your not around"?

TASHA1983's picture

It definitely is DH, G-PARENTS,and BM fault that the kid is the little shit that she is, because they ALLOW & ENABLE her behavior, plus she is getting old enough to see what she is doing and how it is working to her advantage thus she keeps at it. BUT there is NOTHING wrong, bad or abnormal with disliking a kid. There are kids that I have known all of their lives that are UNDER 5 years old that grate on my last nerve and I would rather not be around them.

It doesn't make you a bad person or evil or anything! You are HUMAN! You will come across many people of all different ages that WILL irritate you, annoy you, piss you off etc. wtf is wrong with that??? NOTHING!!! THAT IS LIFE & REALITY!!!

June Cleaver and Mary Poppins were FUCKING TV CHARACTERS for Pete's sake!!! We have feelings and can't just like/love everyone...unless you're Jesus Christ that is...lol

I suggest a heart to heart with your SO and let all of your feelings out and hopefully come up with some compromises on how to deal with your situation IF you feel that he and this relationship is worth it!!!

I wish you the best....I know how you feel and I am with you 100% Smile

Disneyfan's picture

It really doesn't matter who is to blame. What matters is that the OP is making the choice to stay.

You're not married. You don't have a child with him. You hav a job. Why are you still there?

Wishitwasdifferent's picture

Clearly most of you are unable to read, did you not see the part where I said I am leaving??

Anyway correct me if I am wrong but is this not the place we are meant to be able to vent??

Step parenting is an impossible task, I come here to vent, if you can't be bothered to preoperly read my posts then don't respond.

Sammers0108's picture

I can totally see where you are coming from. There are days where I feel this way as well. I do take a step back and realize it is the parents reflecting in the child. Your SD only knows what she is taught at this point.

msg1986's picture

geez, she's not CHOOSING to stay, she clearly states she IS leaving.

I can understand how you feel. In the beginning fdh refused to parent mainly because of his laziness and also not wanting any type of stress/confrontation and it's been a struggle but we're there now,fss can still be a pain sometimes but it's better now that I let fdh know where I stand.

Good luck to you whatever you choose to do Smile

Brady_Bunch_plus_some's picture

New blog says you're staying and disengaging. So. What happens now? Have you come to terms with the fact that this is your DHs issue and he must work to resolve the problems? Or are you going to continue hating a little girl that is clearly the product of a lazy parent who allows disrespect?

It's easy to blame a 6 year old. It's also very wrong.

Disneyfan's picture

WOW