If you don't like your SK, how do you control your emotions when they are around?!
I'm having a hard time feeling any love towards SS9! We have him 50/50 with his BM (2 weeks with us, 2weeks with BM). My DH would have him full time if BM wanted him too!! We have been together 4 years, married for almost 2.
Every time he is here, I feel depressed,sad,angry,moody and frustrated! And it affects my relationship with DH. This morning I asked SS what he wanted in his sandwich for school, he looks at DH and DH answers for him!!! I'm like "why would you answer for him, why can't he tell me?" DH says "well he thinks you're going to get cranky at him" basically saying that's what I do all the time!!
He's not a bad kid, but he just annoys the crap out of me! His voice, the way he chews his food, the constant commentary he does on everything ie. "I'm having a big breakfast today" , "I need to get a plate for my breakfast", "wheres my bag, wheres my hat,oh there it is" and when he's playing games on the wii "wow I'm so good I've hit a home run" "wow I'm coming first, no he's passed me, no now I'm coming first again"...... I really dont understand why he loves the sound of his own voice so much!!!
Aaaaarrrrrgggghhhhh.....being a SM has to be one of the hardest jobs ever!!
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Comments
You need to step back some.
You need to step back some. I think that would help all of you.
As you say he's not a bad kid it's just that his very being irritates you. That can happen but somehow you need to learn to tune it out.
He doesn't deserve your anger and you don't deserve to be so unhappy.
I feel exactly the way you
I feel exactly the way you feel. It sucks so bad. Me and my fiance have the best relationship until the weekend comes and the skids come. Then I get bitchy and depressed and hide in my room and they ruin every meal because they are selfish and rude and loud and they get under my skin SO BAD I want to scream and cry at the same time. The youngest always wants candy..."DAD! CAN I HAVE SOME CANDY! PLEEEEEZZEE!" And they have no table manners and its so gross. And their whiny voices drive me nuts.....they whine about EVERYTHING. LITERALLY EVERYTHING. And all they do is play Xbox and they think they are like professional xboxers and they go on and on at dinner about "noobs" like every other player besides them sucks because they have been playing for 2 whole years. It's soooooo dorky!!!!!
Try to get a bit of space for
Try to get a bit of space for yourself when he's there and do your own thing for some of the time. If you find him annoying it's not doing anyone any good if you're all in the house together the whole time, or doing stuff together all weekend. I know I used to feel like I should be around when my husband had the children, but I was just putting pressure on myself, backing myself into a pseudo mother role, and creating resentment.
If you arrange to see friends or family or go shopping etc it gives you something else to focus on, and a break from the annoyance, and gives you more chance of being able to be pleasant to him when you are around. Ultimately he needs his Dad, no matter how annoying he is, so it's important he feels welcome in your home. If you spend more time on 'you' stuff, let his Dad do the sandwich making etc, plus spend just a little bit of quality time showing an interest in SS when you are together it might keep everyone happy.
I have said this to other
I have said this to other people, but I really do feel like skids FEED off of the irritation that they cause. They are not aware of it, but they need that negative reaction in order to continue to tell themselves a sad story about their lives. If you are the bad guy all the time and "get irritated" over the lunch thing, skid can justify the poor me thoughts in their head. If you fake it 'til you make it and pretend they don't bother you, they usually go bother someone else, like DH, then he starts to get it. I even told my SS that he is creating his own reality, that all of his problems are self inflicted.
BTW-he constantly talks too. If I let him just sit there and talk he will say start to talk about the dumbest crap and I don't even know what he's talking about. It's like he's in some sort of movie where he's the star. I just go to the other room now without a word.
I totally get this,
I totally get this, manymoments, "I hate it when she hugs me goodbye. I get a creepy feeling when she comes towards me."
My SD10 does this weird twisted thing with a big "Samara from The Ring" look. I know she doesn't want to hug me so she should just not do it! If you don't mean it, don't fake it.