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They only get worse...

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Sat, 12/01/2012 - 2:49pm

Dh has a bowling buddy who lost his wife 3.5 yrs ago to H1N1. It was terrible as she went downhill in the space of 2 days. One day she had the sniffles and a cough and the next day she was on life support. She died so suddenly. The sad thing was at the same time DH was in hospital himself recovering from a cardiac procedure then developed an infected salivary gland that nearly killed him. Seriously.

So BB (Bowling Buddy) was a lost lamb. He and his late wife did everything together. His 36 yr old daughter and her husband had both lost their jobs and as the family was concerned about BBs mental state they moved back into his house with their kids to take care of him. And to this day they have not even attempted to find a job. Either of them.

BB (now 60) has met a nice woman who he is crazy about earlier this year. So last week he proposed to her and they plan on marrying in the Spring. And here it comes.... the in-situ daughter is having a royal hissy fit of epic proportions. She doesn't want her father to remarry. It (apparently) is 'too soon'. Umm 3 yrs? So he told her this past week that she and her husband have 3 months to find a job and move into their own place or he will have them evicted, grandkids or not.

And so his daughter called ALL the relatives and attempted to convince them that BB must be on drugs to make this decision and denegrate her mother's memory and 'someone' should really do a background check on this woman and she wouldn't be surprised if she is plying him with narcotics and now he is dependent on her as his dealer.

OMG! So I am definitely going to this wedding and will take this little (now 39 yr old)bitch out if she tries ANYTHING out of line. I undestand how it would hurt to see your mother replaced, per se. I fear my own mother passing away and my aunt introducing my dad to some suitable replacements the day after the funeral. But life goews on and BB wants to be part of a couple again. He will always love his wife. She died so suddenly and unexpectedly. We didn't even know until about 6 months later because of DHs own health issues at the time.

So this wedding may be lovely or I may get arrested.

Comments

oldone's picture

Submitted by oldone on Sat, 12/01/2012 - 4:06pm

I moved in with my dad after my mother died. And took early retirement so I was not working. My job was a couple of thousand miles away.

But I would have KILLED for some woman to have taken him off my hands.

A marriage vow is "until death do us part". It is perfectly fine to remarry. The only reason I'd suggest someone not do it too quickly (which 3 years is NOT quick) is so they have time to grieve.

z3girl's picture

Submitted by z3girl on Sat, 12/01/2012 - 6:28pm

My mother passed away 5 years ago (I can't believe it's been 5 years already!!!). My parents were married for 50 years. My father was completely lost without her. He is now 75, and he has met a wonderful woman. She doesn't want to get married (even though my father has asked) but I am so thrilled that he found someone because it means he is less clingy to me.

Any adult who doesn't want their widowed parents remarrying or involved with anyone is crazy! People who are happy feel physical ailments less, and are more independent. They are happier, even though they will always miss the person they spent so long with. My mother was most worried about my father right before she passed, because she knew her kids could take care of themselves, but wasn't so sure about my dad. I can't imagine taking care of both my father and my very young children.