I got a job offer where I could be making six figures a year. Should I take it or leave it?
I work for a very large corporation in a right to work state, which means I get paid crap for the work that I do. At the moment they are in the process of phasing our my department. I have been offered another job for this company in another state basically doing what I do know but I'll have the earning potential of making six figures a year as oppossed to the crap wage I make at the moment. I will never get this type of opportunity again. I have not completed my college education yet and with half a bachelors degree in biology, it's not really going to get me very far anyways. I have been married to DH for seven months and we have been together for almost three years. He would never be willing to relocate because he wouldn't see his kids every other week. If any of you have been following my blogs recently you'll know that DH and I have been having some serious issues in regards to our marriage. Infact he has told me recently that he's not sure that we are going to make it.
So my question to you is what would you do? Stay and continue to make sh!it an hour without ever having the potential to make more and stay in a marriage where your partner has told you that they don't see it working? Or leave everything behind with the knowledge that I can afford to send my BD to college, own my home (which DH has told me that I'll never be able to do), and make a new life for myself?
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sounds like a no brainer to
sounds like a no brainer to me
Take it. Take it. Take it.
Take it. Take it. Take it. Take it.
Sometimes you have to look at
Sometimes you have to look at it like this.
- Your company is being phased, which means you will most likely lose your job
- Your DH is being a douche-canoe
And suddenly you get this opportunity.
Never look a gift horse in the mouth, it sounds like Karma is coming through with a good offering for you so you can not be Unhappy anymore....
Take it. If things were good
Take it. If things were good and he loved you (the ACTION) as a husband should, then I would consider maybe not doing so.
Change is scary. I know that. It is the unknown, but perhaps you should give yourself the chance to find happiness, than always be unhappy for certain.
Sometimes you need to do
Sometimes you need to do what's best for you and lookout for yourself when nobody else will. You have been so unhappy and this could be a nice fresh start for you!!
^^^^This exactly! I would've
^^^^This exactly! I would've said pretty much verbatim had I gotten to your post earlier!
I totally agree with Giving - DO IT and show your daughter that life is important to live to the fullest!
And CONGRATULATIONS on such a great offer. I can't ever imagine making that kind of money. I'm in the 30,000K/yr range, but EXH gets 6,000 of it for child support that of course he NEVER spends on my daughter. DOUCHE CANOE!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO
Sounds like the timing
Sounds like the timing couldn't be more perfect! I think you already know the answer
I would take it. If you were
I would take it. If you were happily married it would be different, but this is a golden opportunity for you to start again and make a new life for yourself. No more skid crap, financial security and a better life for you and your bd. Go for it!
If you don't take this
If you don't take this opportunity - will you wonder what could have been forever???
The way I would look at it is, things aren't good now. You need a change. Maybe this is the change.
What could happen? I am a list maker:
1. You take the job. Its great. Your life improves. You get some time to think clearly about your situation. Your DH gets time to think clearly about your situation. You decide your new life is good and you move on without DH.
2. You take the job. Its great. Your life improves. You get some time to think clearly about your situation. Your DH gets time to think clearly about your situation. DH comes to his senses. You guys rekindle and move on together.
3. You take the job. Its crap. Its crap but pays you way more so its the same crap for more money. You got a break from the old crap, new sights, some alone time, some time to heal and figure out what you really want in life. You decide to rekindle with DH or not but you got the time, the break and some bills paid off.
4. You take the job, its crap but you are making great money, meeting new people and the rest of your life is DH free, drama free and you have the funds to go out and hang with new friends in the evenings.
To me ALL 4 options leave you with great results. There will be ups and downs of course - i say take the opportunity to give yourself a break, if its meant to be with DH it will be after the break - if not - what a great way to start your new life.
I would make a list of pros
I would make a list of pros and cons. Only you can make the final decision on this. It is your life to live. But I definitely know what *I* would do!
Take it from someone who
Take it from someone who chose NOT to take my dream jobs 3 yrs ago and chose instead to stay with DH and SD7. I wake up every single day in stepHELL wishing I would have taken those jobs and gone away free & independent from being a miserable SM. I did this not once, but TWICE. Twice, I turned down two 6-figure jobs in perfect locations. One of my friends ended up getting one of those jobs and she has been travelling around the entire world to exotic places for business and for pleasure. Every time I see her FB, I get sick thinking "that should have been me." Instead, I'm stuck here hating my life as a stepparent, getting no real rewards for having this child in my life fulltime, drinking my liver away, gaining weight... DH and I now have BD2 so there is no way I could escape now. If I was going to dodge the bullet of steplife, I missed my chance. It's too late for me but it sounds like it's not too late for you. 7 months is easier to leave than 7 years.
Your resentment will grow and you will blame DH and skid more and more if you don't take the job. Especially if you don't have kids with DH yet---GO while you can!!
I did this. XH#2 refused to
I did this. XH#2 refused to go with me. I knew if I stayed there, with him, I would die. Literally, figuratively, metaphorically - - - you have to save your own life first!!!! go go go go go go go.......
It's ironic that your DH
It's ironic that your DH insisted on a six figure income ransom to have a child with you. Now you can have that income and be happy apart from him
An open door presents itself
An open door presents itself to you. Go for it!!!!
Money seems to be the reason
Money seems to be the reason why so many on this site cannot leave their DH or SO. You have that opportunity to not have to worry about money or how you will leave. Take this opportunity while you have it. I agree with hypovic.
Thanks sueu2. I've lost
Thanks sueu2. I've lost myself in all of this....with the struggle of just trying to make it work. You almost made me cry with the last comment.
A little secret. I am no longer 29 anymore. Wish I was. I am now 31.
I can tell you what I think
I can tell you what I think you should do. And what I would do if I were you under these circumstances. But what does YOUR gut instinct/intuition/inner voice tell you to do? Sit down somewhere quiet, ask yourself the question, give yourself time to answer and listen to yourself. Don't blow your chances by second guessing yourself or stay rooted there in fear where you are at if you really don't think your marriage will survive. Once you decide, don't let anyone stand in your way. Just do it. Be stealthy if you need to be. This may be your one chance. If you have an IPOD, download that song by Paul Simon to give you courage, you know the one "50 Ways To Leave Your Lover". I hope you choose wisely for you. Best Wishes!
This is actually a competely
This is actually a competely different job. The other one was starting out at around 30K a year. Actually less then that. This one just landed on my lap earlier this week but I didn't think that I could take it because my CO states that I can't move with my BD unless my ex says it's okay. Now any of you that has read any of my blogs about this guy will know that he will never do that even though he has only shown up for his requested visitation three times in the last nine months. The other times he just blew our BD off. He has drug and alcohol problems which take priority over the needs of his child.
But I think I found a loop hole. I can leave the state on "vacation" with her as long as I let him know where we are going to be. This will allow me to start my new job and hire an attorney to get the CO changed. I would assume that a judge isn't going to rule against me permanently relocating if it means being able to provide better for my BD and be able to afford things like college for her.
If he has documented problems
If he has documented problems with drugs and alcohol a d doesn't see the kid no judge is going to give him custody if you move.
If he has documented problems
If he has documented problems with drugs and alcohol a d doesn't see the kid no judge is going to give him custody if you move.
You have been given a gift.
You have been given a gift.
Just yesterday, you were at your wits end, throwing your arms up in the air in defeat and BAM...
The answer to all your problems
1. a job affluent enough to support yourself and your daughter
2. opportunity to test the waters in a drama free new clear environment
3. a break from DH and space to think through everything (for both of you)
I agree with above poster who said to go for it, inform your DH focus only on the positive and frame it as a temporary situation. By doing that you leave the door open and take some of the strain off the immediate change.
You deserve this.
You earned this.
You can do this.
All of that is already decided, someone sees that in you clearly and made you the offer.
Now its all up to you. Its not about if you CAN do it, you can. Its about if you WILL do it - that is the hard part.
Good luck!!!
I am so excited for you and your DD.
If the only reason you would
If the only reason you would think about not taking the job is because of your DH then i'm with the poster that quoted some of your blogs on here and then I think you have your answer.