I lied!
My SIL just left for the airport after her weekend visit. As she was saying goodbye to me she said "I will be back a lot from now on." I replied. "That would be great."
LIAR!
I did stay nice the whole visit though I did get taken to a corner twice by DW asking me what was wrong. I suck as an actor.
Of course SIL is kicking ass in her life. She is a teacher's aid for SN HS kids. Her boss supposedly asked her if she would finish her degree and get a masters to become a teacher. SIL bowed up all proud that she supposedly had told her boss that there is no way in hell she would do that to deal with what her teaching team teachers have to deal with. No mention that the university would have her thrown off campus if she even attempted to go back and it would take her repeating at least 3 years of undergad retaking the classes she failed and never repeated not to mention that there is not a grad school anywhere, even the the cesspool of the people's republic of SpermLand who would take her. More like she carpet scoped and poutilngy mumbled that she would not go back to school. If her boss even asked her about it. Which I highly doubt.
No SIL, you are never going to amount to much of anything. Though you are epically good at ripping off your relatives for money.
Buh-bye. Don't let the door hitchya where the good lord splitchya.
I shouldn't have lied. Better to have just given some non committal guttural noises in respose. I could not break my bride's heart by saying what I really wanted to say. Now to go inventory the house to find out what credit cards, jewelry, etc... she walked out with.
- Rags's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
In that situation, i would
In that situation, i would have, with a strained smile, made some noise like "eeeeehhhhh." Hopefully she also lied and won't darken your doorstep for a long while!
I am laughing and not
I am laughing and not laughing at the same time. Laughing at your description; not laughing about this person. Is she your DW's sister? What does DW think of her? Why does this woman intend to come back more often? What does DW think of all of this?
Yes, my DW's scum bag younger sister.
DW knows what her sister is. She is very careful to not cater to the hints for money, etc... DW made sure to limit the visit to a couple of days from the week+ that SIL wanted.
My DW is a kind caring person but she has learned from the nearly 2decades of battles with the toxic SpermClan and our 3 decades of dealing with the very manipulative and naive behaviors of my IL clan and does not tolerate or participate in their delusions. They all circle the wagons when someone claims to be in financial crisis, they collectively bail them out, then as reality unfolds and the rip off is recognize there is a combination of head in the sand positioning and those who behind the back of the financial manipulator are very vocal about the reality. Except for me and DW, no one will call it out publically for what it is.
Over the years things have improved and the financial exploitation has faded. Though the pouting, etc... still goes on from SIL. Her brothers have cut her off, MIL has cut her off, MIL's sister has cut her off. She has never directly asked DW and me for help. She and everyone else knows better.
I have not had a discussion with DW of what they discussed during SIL's visit. I will get the dish tonight.
Yeah @Rags...my BIL who is my
Yeah @Rags...my BIL who is my "sister's keeper" told me "we like hanging with you and the family" after giving me a earful of complaints on my hosting capabilities. I sat silent. It felt really really good not to have to reciprocate with a statement I didn't mean. If I were to be VERY honest I would tell him that I have never enjoyed their company - I end up walking on eggshells because they are constant victims searching for me to be their villian. In reality I said nothing- lightly nodded my head in acknowledgment of his comment. Sometimes silence says it all. :D
DW and I talked about SIL's visit after she left.
While DW enjoyed her visit with her younger sister, it was the usual tension about having to keep SIL under a hairy eyeball to keep her from her usual thieving bullshit.
That discussion expanded to how uncomfortable my bride is in her own home town spending time with her own family. She knows she does not fit. That is so sad to me. DW is an amazing stunningly beautiful, brilliant, successful, educated professional, with a wonderful son, and a 30+ year marriage. Yet when she is in her home town she is such an outlier to the local condition and in her home family that it is no longer pleasant for her to be there. Which on some level breaks her heart.
I advise that she go when she wants, does what she wants, and does not worry about any of "them". For many years we visited my ILs in SpermLand and stayed in a hotel, hosted holiday meals at the hotel in a conference room, catered the main elements of the meal. Over time DW felt guilty about that and we started participating in the holiday gatherings at one her Sibs' homes with her Sibs' extended family including their ILs. What a shit show that has evolved into. DW invariably is heartbroken by the event. So, it looks like we are going to revert back to the hotel hosting model and make reasonable behavior from all who attend a criteria for remaining at the event.
It's hard when you leave your
It's hard when you leave your family of origin and the place you grew up @Rags- your DW has a more extreme example of that. When I go to visit family and my hometown I just simply don't have the nostaligia for the hometown but I treasure SOME of the family- especially my parents (such good people.) Other folks in the family - I remain indifferent. I've learned to turn or "cool it down" with the high conflict personalities that bring 99% of the problems. I hope she learns to turn her heart a little cold, in these situations sometimes you have to be pragmatic and kind but not nice.
RAGS, I nearly spat out my
RAGS, I nearly spat out my lunch when I read "LIAR".*ROFL*
I am all for Hotel Entertaining.
We stopped being a B and B years ago for grown adult extended family who can manage to travel the globe, Iceland, Taiwhan, Europe, but want a freebie "hotel stay" at our place just because they are in the area. Funny meeting for lunch is out of the question now the B and B is closed. . Exception to that rule of course is adult kids and Grand munchkins.
Anyway, Hotel Entertaining IS such a great idea. Keeps your home, your home !!!
We started the hotel entertaining model to avoid nasty horders.
I have allergies to dust, mold, animals... so much time at all spent in those environments is a non starter for me.
I have refused to stay with any of my ILs for decades. For a number of years the problem was the only other options in the small town where the ILs live are mod infested dumps. So we would stay 20 miles away which was not optimal for visiting.
They built a new name brand hotel in IL's town about 15yrs ago so that is where we stay. They have one room that is a large suite and we book that when it is available. We can pretty much entertain in that suite though I always leave the luggage on the bed to keep it clear of people. When the suite is not available we lease the breakfast/event room for gatherings.
Not prohibitively expensive and it keeps me TF out of the mold, dust, and farm animal infested environments where my IL clan members all live. Literally, livestock in the house. The kids all have agriculture projects for 4H or FFA that are housed in the house. Beyond mind boggling.
My GPs both had retirement farms. The farm stayed outside.
I don't get it.