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Getting ready for the big one - update

JRI's picture

SD63 asked to come over this morning to update me on her situation.  This was so ominous, I've been dreading it all week.

Guess what?  She never showed and didn't call.  What a relief!

When she was here several days ago, she went through a long detailed organ recital about many serious conditions.  When she asked to come over, I said I hoped it wasn't about money cuz I was tapped out.  So, all week, I've been wondering, if its not health or money, what else?  I know she has probs with all 3 of her kids but DH87 and I always refuse to get involved.

So, I dodged the bullet today but Christmas isn't over yet and we will probably hear from her at some point.

 Not that she cares or understands, but every morning and afternoon, I've had something to do.  I purposely kept today free for her.  Inevitably, she will call or come over while I'm  involved in something else and expect attention.  Its so predictable and never ends.  Sigh....

Comments

Elea's picture

Congrats on dodging it for at least a little while. Your story just reinforces that it really never does end. That's why I am working to establisih strong boundaries NOW.

JRI's picture

SD63 had about 20 years where she was doing relatively well.  But since her 2nd divorce, its been all downhill.  So, at about 43yo, this all started up.  I guess what Im saying is that even tho we think we are in the clear, that they are grown adults, it can all go blooey.

Elea's picture

You are right that life can throw us lots of curve balls. I realize I won't be able to prevent them but I at least want to establish that the SD's are not allowed to come into our home and take over the reigns, now or ever. I hope that when things go South that we're not he ones having to pick up the pieces. DH had kids relatively later in life and he is the only link between SD's and I. I expect that by the time they are 40 DH will be well into his golden years. They can go cry to someone else because I have no connection to them.

AlmostGone834's picture

The bomb drops on me Sunday at midday. I'm dreading it. I totally get the dread hanging over you. Maybe she read your reaction and got the tiniest of hints. Burn some sage, salt the thresholds, sacrifice a small child... it's all you can do to keep the evil at bay. I'm crossing my fingers for you.

JRI's picture

This feeling of dread is like a black cloud, I know exactly what you're feeling with LI's imminent arrival.

I don't think SD63 detected my feelings (or cares).  I think she's just routinely absentminded about her commitments.  Its customary for her to say she will be here a certain day, call to postpone for the next day and repeat that once or. twice.  When she eventually arrives, its never when sbe said she'd be here, always at keast an hour late.  Of course, DH87 always excuses it cuz "poor SD63" 

It drives me very nuts cuz I schedule things and am always on time.  Oh well....

thinkthrice's picture

She was holding some poor youngster employee hostage whilst she asked him about the contents of a spray cleaner!

"Perfume, Dye, CHEMICALS..."  (OH MY)

JRI's picture

You are psychic, that is exactly what she does!  Any store she goes in, she corrals the employee, pharmacist or whoever, and asks a million questions, complains, and takes up everyone's time.  Her son told me that his friend works in a pharmacy and they dread seeing her show up.

thinkthrice's picture

LOL!  Not that I have anything against Bach's D Minor Toccata.

Biggrin

Rumplestiltskin's picture

This b!tch actually lists her internal organs one by one and drones on about what's wrong with them, and how much money and time she is demanding per body part lol. 

Harry's picture

Before Christmas.  Besides her bowling ball died. And other tails of xxyyxx.   You must decide now before she comes what you are going to do.  How much money you are going to give her. 
'Don't be upset thus is her. You bailing her out teaches her nothing.  She has no incentive to be an adult.

We all go through this.  Worst of all these people become friends with similar people .  So you have to hear abithbthen too

Rumplestiltskin's picture

I was debating whether or not to make a separate post but i'm with you. SD25, 7 months pregnant by the boyfriend who she says abuses her and who others say sold pics and videos of her to a porn site is due to visit. There's supposedly some baby shower being given by SO's sisters and nieces but idk anything about it. 50/50 odds whether SD flakes out or shows for the money. 

JRI's picture

What a mess!  I feel for you, can't think of one positive outcome.  When does she arrive?  Does she stay with you?

Rumplestiltskin's picture

I have no idea when she arrives. I heard the supposed shower is Monday. Idk if she will stay with SO or not. He has told her not to, but none of the "shower throwers" want her staying with them, either. Fear of theft as you are familiar with. All i know is she's not staying at my house! 

JRI's picture

Are you going?   Wrte you invited?

grannyd's picture

JRI, you and I are the same age; newly octogenarian. Each time that I read about another, ridiculous and unreasonable expectation from your 63-year-old infant of a SD, my blood pressure spikes. 

I am pampered by my DH, bio and stepchildren, as it should be when one reaches the big 8-0! That you are undergoing unjustifiable stress (particularly at this time of year!) and having to waste your valuable time waiting on a thoughtless, grotesquely selfish woman (who is not even your own flesh and blood!) is every kind of wrong. 

How nice for SD’s own children/grandchildren, keeping their distance while you and your DH (86-years-old and in poor health!) are landed with the expense and trauma of her demands. GRRRRR! Here’s hoping that you manage to keep your own distance from SD and enjoy the holidays as best you can. ♥️