Gifts from steps
There have been some funny mentions of gifts from a step kid lately. What about you? What funny, pathetic, passive-aggressive things have your skids gotten you?
SS one year got me a potholder. Pretty sure that was a year he bragged about a 6-figure salary. At least it appeared new. But most years nothing, which is fine. I can match that energy
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In 28 years, I have never
In 28 years, I have never received a gift (or a card) from my SD. But, neither has her dad so I don't take it personally.
I would rather receive nothing than some cheap, thoughtless gift. I mean, a potholder?
Per DH, "Well, he knows you
Per DH, "Well, he knows you love to bake."
Geebus. It had some passive-aggressive statement on it that I've blessedly forgotten. I wouldn't even give it to the thrift store.
Dog bowls are the go to when
Dog bowls are the go to when I do recieve a gift while DH is given large over-the-top gifts. One of the ugliest dog bowls I received was a plastic gray one that was probably selected off the double discount rack at dollar tree. It's ok I am cherishing them all and will make sure that's a part of their inheritance down the line.
I am cherishing them all and
I am cherishing them all and will make sure that's a part of their inheritance down the line.
Are you sure
The ugly dog bowl wasn't in the free box at the local animal shelter?
I wouldn't put it past SKIDs
I wouldn't put it past SKIDs - sometimes there are no tags on the bowls, who knows where they come from?
I thought the dog bowl as a
I thought the dog bowl as a gift was a one time deal and not a reoccuring event. I would suggest dontating all but one to the local humane society/ shelters so some good will come out of it. Save one for serving her with when she comes to visit and then also save that one for her when she inevitably might come sniffing around for a hand out expecting to inherit something. My SD30 will be lucky if she were to get even that much from me with the way I feel now.
Not a bad idea but I think
Not a bad idea but I think showing all the bowls delivered over a lifetime along with the other "great" gifts I have recieved makes a great statement that I just can't pass up. YES, you are right that would be the mature and long-term thinking I should do but I just can't do that right now. I've put up with so much BS I want to shove it back in SS's face and this is my chance. Is it petty? Sure. But truly minor compared to the garbage I've put up with.
A Rarity in My World
I can count on one hand the gifts I've recieved from DHs kids in 19 years. It's one of those "thorns in my side" because when I first met DH, our Christmases were blow-outs. His kids got big cash gifts and I filled the tree with other gifts they wanted/needed. And for them to walk into our home without a gift for their father was heartbreaking. MInd you, 3 of DHs kids were way into adulthood when he and I met and the two younger ones always got money from us to shop for Christmas. We ended the money grab after about 5 years of this behavior.
As for me, I can only remember one of DHs kids giving me small gifts; a music CD (didn't even know the artist) and some napkin rings. There may be a few more I don't remember but again...just need one hand to figure it out. LOL
Same here
Although we could not afford it because Chef was being completely impoverished by voluntarily overpaying his CS, we did get the brats top of the line Christmas gifts. In fact Chef insisted on a big fancy gift for his ex mother-in-law of all things which really pissed me off but he thought it was okay and I was overreacting!
The year they made a false child abuse report to CPS was the year that they rejected another set of top of the line Christmas gifts ( 2007 Guitar Hero, Scooby doo motorized scooter, etc) while the Girhippo listened to the whole drama on speakerphone.
You could hear her snickering when the skids said "I think these gifts suck!" I told Chef that you should turn right around take the gifts back and give them to a charity but he could never say no to his brats. Frankly they didn't deserve any gifts because they lied to CPS in order to please the Girhippo.
Another year, I found a brand new easel that we had given to the Animal Torturer SD7 for Christmas thrown on our outdoor burn pile. Neither myself nor Chef put it there. That's how absolutely rotten these kids were and this was just a mild event comparatively speaking.
I think of my wonderful DGD and she loves her easel.
Sometimes when I write down
Sometimes when I write down some of my skids' antics, I think: How can anyone believe this? It's too . . rotten. It's just too awful. Then I read things like this. The level of horrible that some of these skids (and their mothers) exhibit is truly unbelievable! My God!
Wow. You've got me beat. This
Wow. You've got me beat. This is terrible.
Chef used to get
Hastily printed inkjet greeting cards where the ink was still wet and smeared. Or preachy religious themed greeting cards that stated "I forgive you." ( for getting a divorce) no real forgiveness was shown or displayed.
When Chef turned 40, he got an inappropriate greeting card "from the skids" making fun of his age which was clearly picked out by the Girhippo.
Popsicle stick bookmarks using used fudgsicle sticks and artwork that looked as though it was done by a 2 week old clinically brain dead opossum.
Don't forget the gifts that were supposedly from the skids but picked out by DH/SO. "Damian wanted you to have this candle " (complete with confused look on Damien's face other than thoughts of burning SM alive with the candle).
Oh wait I just recalled one. A mailed envelope full of pennies to Chef from the Animal Torturer SD9 at the time, which came postage due. The postage due was more than what the pennies totaled to.
Used popsicle sticks? Gross.
Used popsicle sticks? Gross. Pennies? Weird.
Just another
Symbol of contempt by the long PASed out, now adult skids. I thank my lucky stars every day that we haven't seen hide nor hair of them since 2009.
INSANE...but this is the kind
INSANE...but this is the kind of stuff that I see too- passive aggressive in nature, underhanded to show how little they think of us. Glad they've remained far from you.
Not many gifts
I remember one Christmas DH gave them each $25.00 and dropped them at Sears to buy me gifts. So 3 kids managed to buy me a cheap $5.99 hat, mitten and scarf set. One gave me the hat, the second gave me the mittens and the third gave me the scarf. And yes, they kept the remaining money (almost $70). So Christmas came early for them. Their "gifts" went to goodwill. Itchy winter wear that doesn't keep me warm, is not my thing.
One time
All three of Chef's ferals were in the backseat of our vehicle bragging about how much money they had. I leaned over and said since you have all that money it would be nice to buy your dad a cup of coffee, wouldn't it?
They started screaming with hyena like laughter basically saying that was preposterous to buy their father anything and "No Way!!!" I turned around and looked at Chef giving him a look as if to say you have nothing but selfish brats on your hands.
The first holiday season I
The first holiday season I spent with dh, his offspring were 23-32. The 30 mini wife hexanbeast attempted to mark her territory. She bought sleepwear for her father to turn and gift to me. She worked in a department store. There was no fathomable justification for her. I actually set that damnable frippery in fire in the backyard. DH and I do not celebrate the holidays in any manner now. The water under this bridge is lethal.
Just back from DH's gift drop
Just back from DH's gift drop off to YSD and grands. And I do mean drop off. They meet us in the driveway for gift drop off. (I don't even get out of the car anymore. I drive DH there, as he's no longer driving, and that's my gift. They talk in the driveway.)
GD has a birthday just before Christmas so we always try to get her gift to her before her birthday. We also dropped off a bag with their Christmas cards (which contain a small amount of money, proportional to DH's small retirement income).
I texted YSD a week ago to arrange this. After the hand over, YSD said that she had their school pictures and once she got around to cutting them apart, she send DH one. The suggestion of future pictures was his gift.
Over the years, there have been a few times that DH got a gift, but its been a while since the last one. I'm not going to hold my breath on the pictures arriving.
Oh yeah
The school photos that we actually paid for as a "gift" to dad fresh from its manilla envelope where their expression was either morose or foolish class clown.
DH got one with a watermark:
DH got one with a watermark: They sent him a sample photo as a framed gift with gold writing across it!
Photos
If the pictures materialize, I expect them to be decent. The grands take good photos.
The key is if.
SD14 doesn't even sign
SD14 doesn't even sign birthday cards that DH gets me. I prefer it that way too. No need to put on a show just because it's a celebration/holiday/etc. I don't pretend to try to get SD gifts anymore either.
I received thoughtful gifts
Now that I really don't need anything I get Amazon gift cards. So when I do want Something stupid I get it.
If I had to venture a guess,
If I had to venture a guess, I would say I am getting a big old Nothing ( or 'NUTTIN' as she puts it) Burger from SD30. Then again, I honestly cant recall the last time I ever did get a Christmas gift from her. Nothing is coming to my memory right now. I am still blocked and therefore "punished " by her, once again, no contact which is also something that is far from new.
I am hoping this really means that "nuttin' will finally be fully and seriously expected from me. Maybe im heartless and grinchy..not knowing the meaning of Christmas, but I dont see why I should go out of my way to fork over anything to her after that? Nor what would make me think that she would get me anything. not like i am insulted.
SD did get DH a card at least, just for him mind you.
This might sound really twisted, but I am actually Hoping that is the case once again this year. . I would prefer it this way instead of being put on the spot and pressured to perform something I know is an act. This way, I dont have to be made to feel guilty.
I also know that my no good deed or "good intentions" from My SD dont come without a price and some big strings attached.
Nor could she really get that mad at me for "excluding her" gift wise as long as she has been doing the same to me. Not like she wont hold it against me anyway
Agreed- I want nothing and I
Agreed- I want nothing and I also want to contribute nothing. The relationship has been a one-sided situation for as long as we've all existed and I am not mad, not numb- I simply don't care. As for your "no good deed" also exactly right- if you do anything it will be met with some punishment, suspicion or other...redirect your lovely and wonderful efforts elsewhere dear LIttleTypeAmy.
Same to you, my dear as far
Same to you, my dear
as far as the direction of your efforts. We all know its damned if you do, damned if you dont. Cant stress that enough. I no longer have the energy or the fucks to give to a relationship with an SD thats either been one sided, as you say, defined by indifference, or is just a transactional thing in the end. Especially now when you know you deal with someone who suddenly decides to "care" when its on their terms for their own gain. done!
Done is right - I am right
Done is right - I am right there with you. Fun thing is I am not the least bit upset about it- I like the saying "It is what it is." And then I throw my hands up in the air.
We get gifts ? lol I have
We get gifts ? lol I have only received a shirt from SD and that was maybe 5 years ago. DH doesn't get anything as well so it's like meh
I actually have gotten gifts
I actually have gotten gifts from SK's! Last year was a horrid dollar-store candle from SS18 that I'm giving in a white elephant gift this year. It was a nice thought but good grief is the stench awful. The year before he got me this big acrylic incense-burning "waterfall" (I detest incense). I pushed it to the back of a deep shelf where you can't see it at all. This year I saw a text to DH that SD got me a $9 "waterfall". I'm not sure where they got the impression that I like anything to do with indoor waterfalls, but I envision another thing to shove to the back of a shelf. At least they think of me- although the gifts are awful and nothing I want or use at all and I find myself trying to find ways to hide them from being displayed, it could definitely be worse. I anticipate a big fat nothing from SS this year.