How sad you can't go to the in-law fest.  Cough cough.  I hope DH has a good time (fat chance,).

Rejection hurts, regardless of who it is. It makes one question why? Often times it has nothing to do with us, but is a reflection of the person doing the rejecting; that said and acknowledged...it still hurts. 

I hope you have a lovely time with your father. Blessings to you.

Hey Rumple,

I only wish that I still had a dad to visit! I lost my own wonderful dad in August and I miss him terribly. Give your father extra hugs tomorrow night and enjoy his company; far better being happy with a fella' who loves you than miserable with folks who who are rude and rejecting. Phooey on them!

Is extended family holiday drama the norm or the exception? 
Interstingly for us , it is not between my family and DW's at the holidays.  
 

Any drama tends to inter family strife in my IL clan.  For some reason my BILs and SIL all spend every holiday with their ILs.  To minimize drama my FIL & MIL decided their family would celebrate the  holiday on a different day so once DW's younger sibs started coupling my ILs never actually had the actual holiday with their kids, GKs, etc.   unless we visited for the holiday.  We don't play the not on the holiday, holiday game.  

Last year we drove to SpermLand for TG with DW's family.  We had TG on TG at MIL's house.  You would have thought we Nuked the turkey.  BIL1's MIL would not stop calling to rage and bitch that BIL1's wife did not cook for her parents, so the Bovine Bride is the guilt cook fest and delivered it to her parents then spent DW's family Grigio g my DW the pouty stink eye.  SIL's MIL pretty much did the sand thing though SIL's DH is not one to take that crap even from his own mother.

The Bovine Bride did some snarky backstabbing manipulation that backfired.  She did her go to family favorites sides.  DW and I did ours.  I am dietary limited in what I can eat.  DW does it with me and we are both far healthier for it.  Our stuff everyone ate every bite of it down to licking the serving dishes and asked for more.  BIL1 and his BB, left with a ton of her dishes.

In a regular though not frequent event, DW called out the BovineBride for her pouty stink eye crap in front of everyone.   
 

They always call to check if we are coming though this year it was pretty clear that the question was  a bit loaded.

We are with my parents for 9days this TG.  So, calm, peaceful..... home.  Even more so for my bride than for me.  They love her.  I.... am tolerated.

I understand the rejection hurt. DH and I have kept our distance from most of his side recently. I used to be fine with his family (and they are still relatively polite to u) but over the years I've discovered that they are all just really fake people. Fake nice to your face then talk about you behind your back and it's not just us, it's with everyone they are like this. Idk. I'm tired. I'm tired of people in general and I just want to be left alone. Because his family all swings one way politically and DH is the opposite (and they love to needle him over it every chance they get - while he never brings up politics) he's been taking a break from them. We only see them once a year. Plus they kiss up to LI, the princess of debt, on social media ("we miss you! You look soooo beautiful!" Barf) and all I can think is you don't have to deal with the fallout from her decisions. You don't have to pay for her Christmas extravaganza. But oh we are certainly invited when there are gifts expected!

Ugh. Good for you to prioritize your dad. Let DH go deal l with his toxic relatives. Life is too short. 

When I am rejected by people (namely, my skids), I reject back. I no longer have time or energy "to be the bigger person"--not with the intent of causing drama but just erasing those who would rather erase me. So, good for you for sticking with your plans. It's the right thing to do and it just happens to send a message, Enjoy your time with your father! 

Go someplace to be rejected.  You made "plans with your father.  And that's it.  

@Rumple, it HURTS even if you don't like the people. You are a very insightful, thoughtful and INTERESTING person. It's truly their loss...I sometimes wonder how we can all get to know each other online and see what incredible people we correspond with but we know nothing about them except their situation and their personalities (reading between the lines of their stories) - and I sometimes catch myself thinking what a clever person @Rumple is- how she navigated, understood or provided insight. Sometimes its the intelligent, clever and oh so thoughtful ones who are purposefully overlooked because the crowd of people aren't on your level...on some subconcious level you probably know that...and so do they. As you know with my recent story- my sister typically rejects my invites to visit and I used to feel hurt by that but this year she accepted it and reigned hell on the family making the experience not as delightful as previous ones have been. My lesson is I don't owe my time, resources and life to everyone. You don't owe it to everyone either - your time is precious. Enjoy dinner with your dad, it's a blessing ! It sounds like you both have a wonderful relationship- enjoy, be merry and collect these fabulous memories. 

I am currently debating if I want to go to SIL (on DH's side) dinner gathering this year. SIL has a narcissistic personality AND the SDiablas's (28&26) are in town. The unplesant thought of being stuck in our car with SD's for several hours is enough to sway me towards staying home.

I do enjoy certain family members and spending time with DH. I may chose to attend just so SDiablas don't have an opportunity to talk sh*t behind my back but at this point it's whatever. It's also fun to go just so Diablas are mad about not having "quality time" or "alone time" or "one on one time" with DH like they're 5 years old.