I am bitter
Actually not about SD, BM, or anything steplife related, but like many have posted on here about their jobs. This February I have been employed by the same company for 7 years. Three and a half years remotely and three and a half years in person prior to moving across the country. I work for a small firm and have been loyal to them, but they have also been good to me too. I get 160 PTO, I get all the major holidays plus some, during Christmas I get off from at least Christmas Eve until the day after New Years Day paid off, and I get a bonus twice a year. I get paid less than I could make if I went somewhere else, but decided the benefits outweighed that plus me working from home gives us great flexibility and we save in aspects of gas, wear and tear on the car, etc.
Since the new year began we went from 5 people under my boss (the owner) to one of the employees that was there just a year before I started quitting because she was having another baby and was going to stay home to another employee being fired while I was on maternity leave so now there are only 3 of us. One of the employees started on the same day I did and the other is the owner's daughter. The owner's daughter was not hired on after her internship and was told she seemed like she "knew it all" and was "bossy" etc. She has been working for the company going on a year and a half. We have been slower since January because of the economy and building costs. It was actually great the one employee quit and then the other asked to go to part time for a few months prior to being fired. Now I am the only one who is able to draft the construction documents and use the two drafting softwares we have.
Sounds like great job security right? You would think so, but instead my work anniversary bonus came almost 4 months late because business had been slow. Then a week before I came back from maternity leave my boss told me we were still pretty slow, but hopefully it picks back up in the new year, etc. Plus I felt like she was hoping and almost pressuring me to go to part time with her "making sure" I wanted to come back full time with DD being born. Which that really rubbed me the wrong way especially when she asked if cutting down on daycare that way would be feasible for me. Uh NO, I make more than double the cost of what we are paying for full time daycare a month (around 2.5 times to be more accurate) so I need to be fulltime to afford our lifestyle and I want the benefits of full time.
So now I am pretty bitter because Christmas is coming up which I usually get a very large Christmas bonus and I feel like this year I will not get a bonus at all. I feel like I should be getting a raise because we are down two employees and I am the only one who can use the one drafting software at all and her daughter can somewhat draft in the other software, but not efficiently. Which not to mention just a year ago I learned this totally new software to compete better with other companies and save more time. Plus my boss's daughter is driving me NUTS. I agree with that internship's management, she does act like she knows it all and is bossy. She has worked with us for a while and even interned before graduating college, but I think because I am remote and there were two more bodies in the office our paths did not cross as often. Now almost everyday, I am cursing to myself when I get off the phone with her, read emails or texts from her because of the way she acts and you would think she is my supervisor or something which she is not, but you know is the boss's daughter. In my phone call with my boss prior to returning to work, I found out what broke the camel's back on the employee being fired is she overheard the employee and her daughter getting into it. So I am being nothing except nice BUT UGH!
Anyways, this is mostly just a vent, I really don't want to give up working from home, I still do have good benefits from the job in terms of time off, flexibility, etc. but in the back of my mind I am worried if things don't pick up I will be out of a job anyway. Just really bitter about it and I think mostly because you would think I would be in the prime position because of what I have to offer and being down staff, but instead am worse off this year than last year. I get the economy has been super rough and building costs have been hurting our business, but ugh I am very frustrated. If you made it to the end of this thanks for reading my rant. I can vent to DH, but he tells me to start looking for another job if I am unhappy which I am, but at the same time do not want to look for other employment either.
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It almost sounds like a "SD"
It almost sounds like a "SD" type situation with the boss's daughter. You have to deal with her because she's your boss's kid but her behavior sucks and it seems she gets special privileges and you have to work harder because of her. So in a way, it fits the site!
Idk what to advise otherwise. I am in the process of changing jobs due to bonuses being cut (among other issues that were more important and having a great opportunity fall into my lap.) But i also understand having certain aspects of the job make you not want to leave. Maybe just low key start looking for better opportunities while working for this company. Maybe something better will fall into your lap too?
Well she is a COD and the divorce happened when she
was in highschool. Her mom aka my boss has also always coddled her children to the extreme so it is pretty similar.
That is good you had something great fall into your lap! Yeah, I have looked around a little. The hard part is we moved 40 minutes north of the city that really has opportunities in my field. Which I knew if I ever left the job I have now that I might have a hard time finding something close. DH currently drives 35 minutes to work so I worry about me also making a similar or longer commute making us both not close by SD's daycare. I am hoping the new year is better and that the boss's daughter problem won't be so bad once we have more projects going on/not communicating with the daughter everyday.
Some people use the term
Some people use the term "work wife." You have a "work stepdaughter!" Ugh!!
LOL
That's a good one!!
Small companies vs corporate America
I worked for both small and large companies over my career. Small companies certainly give you the opportunity for great benefits since they aren't restrained by nationwide policies. The downside is the uncertainty of keeping them plus the big one, FAMILY. If I were an owner, I dont know if I'd be able to resist the temptation to employ my kid, no matter how great the non-family employee is.
Big companies give you more reliability about your pay and benefits. Their HR policies usually protect that though the pay and benefits won't have that spectacular possibility, like at a small company. You dont usually deal with nepotism. The big downside is dealing with the bureaucracy and corporate BS.
With your specialized skills, I'd keep working for them but start looking for something else on the downlow. Your gut is telling you it wont last. Good luck.
Exactly! DH and I both were working for small companies
for a period of a year and it made us nervous for us both to be working for small companies.
Thanks! I just have been hoping to ride this out for another 2-3 years which is still possible if things pick up in the new year, but unfortunately unless I have less communication with the boss's daughter, I don't see that part getting any better.
Time for a change?
Get that resume up-to-date and check out what's available. Sorry your job situ is going this way, but I bet a lot of engineering design firms would jump at the chance to hire someone with your skills & construction project drafting experience. The best designers bake in construction considerstions, which leads to less change orders & costly schedule delays.
If you start taking action now while you still have the job, you'll be in a better position to negotiate pay, WFH, and vacation/PTO.
Well I don't work in the engineering field I work in the
interior design/architecture field, but yes there are definitely opportunities out there. The hard part is we moved 40 minutes north of the city that has a lot of these posts. Which I knew could make things difficult if I left my current job, but we didn't want to live in the city anymore. I have been hoping to ride this out for another 2-3 years, but I am not sure that is how this is going to play out.
UGH
Another vote for updating
Another vote for updating your resume and checking out jobs. There are jobs that are fully remote!
I would definitely like to stay remote
or at the very least local while DD is in daycare. It is a scary world after being comfortable for 7 years somewhere!
While I get the all in
While I get the all in partnership with a BioParent thing, SD's day care should not limit your career opportunities. The BP should be the one to primarily carry that element and adjust their career accordingly.
We never had to face that challenge as at that time I was the sole or primary income in our marriage. We moved for my career a number of times and DW adjusted. It was always a joint decision. Even when she decided she wanted to re-engage her career after chasing me around the world for 8yrs, it was a joint decision. Now we are at a point where her career is the primary and mine is the support/secondary career. Though my income does tend to be notably higher, we are at the point where money is not our motivator. Her income is steadily increasing, great bonuses, major opportunities, with a notable mid sized employer in her professional space. They put her on partner track less than 90 days after she joined the organization. She is a rock star. Not to mention hot and sexy!!!
*pardon*s
I'm good being the arm candy, chef, consultant, etc.... Though I am getting a bit bored. I am getting traction in road warrior roles which we have done before in our marriage. Our homes are geographically stable and I get a ton of perquisites and miles when we are in this mode. We did it when our kid (SS-32) was about 10-13yo. Not great from a family situation, but tennable with DW's career at the time and me being home every weekend for most of the that period.
I have an interview in two hours for an interesting role with a very intriquing Gov't agency. Not something I have done before organizationally as far as a government agency is concerned but a role I have a ton of experience in from the private sector.
Anyway, set your standards, manage your employer to those standards, and take care of you.
HUGE TYPO!
I wrote SD but I meant DD LOL, so used to typing SD and not DD.
Yea, I'd "casually" start
Yea, I'd "casually" start looking to see what else is out there. Like you indicate, there's not a lot (or, umm, anything) you can do because you're stuck in a parent-child situation (as mentioned, somewhat like the mini-wife in step situations) so you do have to kind of tiptoe and tolerate. That's got to be very difficult. But on the plus side, you work remotely and don't have face time with this person.
In the past, I had a younger, less experienced and very immature "teacher's pet" type of employee try the "supervisory type" talk or language with me. I knew I had to tread carefully because her mentor was also my boss. Everyone tiptoed around the little princess. But finally, one day, when I picked up the phone and she barked at me from the other end, I hung up on her. lol. She went raging into our boss's office (it was funny watching her fly angrily past my office door). I said, "I work hard. I do a good job. I will NOT be talked to that way. If that's the rule around here, that I have to tolerate that, let me know right now, and I'll leave." The "teacher's pet" ended up leaving. But she was not blood-related, so there's that.
I think family supervisors and employees should be particularly careful about maintaining a standard level of behavior across the board. Show your favoritism at home among your own dysfunctional family dynamics. lol.
It is definitely difficult and wouldn't be so bad except
since I came back to work almost a month ago now, I am communicating with her now everyday. It would be way worse if I was in the office for sure! Instead I get off the phone or reading emails/texts and being irritated then checking to make sure my watch didn't type any annoyances I voiced out loud!
LOL, yeah I had an issue with that with the co-worker who got fired actually, but I could do something about that and I ended up actually making a complaint against her. I cannot do either of those things with the co-worker being the boss's daughter which is frustrating!
I definitely agree! Over the summer our job changed offices so now the boss's daughter and the other employee work in an open office space instead of having individual offices like we used to so I am almost hoping one day that maybe my boss hears the way she is and says something to her. I know if I worked for my parent they definitely wouldn't let me say whatever whether they were the boss or not, but this co-worker is a COD and has been coddled terribly.
Lol. I have worked for my parents though long, long ago.
I had to deliver impeccably and heaven forbid I had ever behaved disrespectfully to any other employee.
Yeah, I feel like people who were raised well
would almost feel more afraid to be disrespectful when working for their parents because they were raised better than that!
I am going to pile on the
I am going to pile on the polish the resume train. It sounds like this small business may be on the brink of folding due to lack of business.. not sure if that is circumstantial to the economy.. or a factor of the boss/management not being a great "sales person" or the sales team is slacking.
It looks like that other employee was fired for not much.. possibly just an excuse to cut a headcount.. they did her vs you because you are marginally more useful. BUT.. it does sound like her daughter could possibly do some of the drafting in your place.. and might be able to come up to speed.. and it may happen that her parent will encourage that and she will end up diminishing their need to have you on the payroll.
I don't think the small/late raises are a reflection of your worth.. but it really seems like they are not doing business at a level to keep operating.. and they are in a crunch.
I am also guessing that your boss thought it could be a win/win if you did want to spend more time with your child vs working.
I think the writing is kind of on the wall that your company may be on the brink.. and looking around.. you are probably one of the next on the block if they feel a cut needs to be made.. it will no longer be a request if you want to go full time.. it will be a "part time is all we can offer now.. take or leave it".
So... look around.. see what other options are.. remotely.. or part in person if necessary.. better than being left holding the bag with no job.
I'm sorry you are in this situation though.. it sucks when we do all we can and don't get the results that we probably deserve.
So it is definitely a fault of the economy
we have some clients that do large projects with us every year, but these clients have been holding off or pushing back projects due to building costs.
The employee that was fired was fired for more than just what happened with the boss's daughter. For the year leading up to being fired my boss has vented to me on multiple occasions her frustrations with the employee. I actually made my first ever complaint against anyone or anything about this employee as well. The other two employees that are not her daughter and one being the employee that left have also had things to say about this employee. She had an attitude, was difficult to work with, rushed constantly, didn't pay attention to detail and was not flexible.
Prior to the employee who could draft being fired, she was doing lessons with the boss's daughter on this other drafting software and she doesn't know how to do anything in the software despite this. The boss's daughter would need to take courses and/or have a one on one tutor to learn to even slightly use the software. I don't see that happening anytime soon especially when she cannot even use the much easier software proficiently.
I am definitely next on the chopping block if a cut needs to be made. It is me who works remote, a senior designer and the boss's daughter. It was more of an offer if I wanted to go part-time instead of continuing to remain full-time which it even being mentioned definitely has made me feel uneasy. She did say how she absolutely doesn't want to lose me, I think she was feeling me out to see what my limits are and now she knows it is full-time or nothing.
Definitely don't want to be without a job! I just have been hoping and still hoping that things will work itself out and I won't need to communicate with the boss's daughter everyday so I can buy another 2-3 years like I want to before having to commute for a job like I probably will have to.
But thanks! I am sorry I am too, just trying to remain optimistic, but I seem to be inching more towards being pessimistic.
Sounds like it is time to adopt the "Talk to the owner." mantra.
Default to interfacing only with the owner except to task the inept Nepo baby directly and send her to mommy whe she gets lippy. Then document, document, docmument. A hostile work environment is illegal regardless of the size of the employer.
A situation where qualified historically solid performers are released while an under performing under knowledgeable child of the owner/boss is kept would have a good labor attorney salivating. Keep that in mind.
I am in counsel with a labor attorney regarding a recent employer who is being plowed with a number of lawsuits. My case is apparently pretty good as I am a double protected class employee. Or more accurately, was a double protected class employee. Disability and age. I have never taken an employer to court in my career and still may not. My attorney is pushing for a settlement. I am hopeful that can occur without us actually having to file suit. Having a suit against an employer could cause issues on background checks by future employers at the levels I tend to work at.
For sure I would update your resume and LinkedIn profile setting your status to "Open to work". See what bites you get. With your background and expertise that is conducive to remote work you may find some interesting opportunities.
If your current employer learns you are open to work, they may pull their head out of their own ass and recognize that your departure would be potentially fatal to their business. Nepotism can be a major double edged sword. With the negatives potentially being severe for the business in work related legal action and when talent leaves and the Nepo baby is inept. Clients do not like that crap.
Do not argue. Be direct. "I do not work for you and you will not speak to me that way." Be professional, be assertive. Do not tolerate the Nepo baby's bullshit.
Good luck.
Take care of you.
Thanks Rags!
Yeah it is a lot to think about for sure!