Stood up to NPD Chef!
So as he was dictating invoices, apparently I made a mistake by charging this extremely cheap woman / slumlord with more money than God a standard service call. I have never met this woman but she must be good looking because Chef cuts her all kinds of breaks on her bills.
Anyway she got the invoice and wrote back in the email that it's not her invoice because she thought putting in two whole new air conditioner parts would be free for her including the refrigerant which is very expensive.
Chef got on the phone to bawl me out about the service charge and told me the classic "these are the things that you do that make me angry with you."
I had been practicing on what to say to NPD people and retorted "I am not responsible for the way you feel about anything including me."
That stopped him in his tracks. He was still angry but he stopped the ranting and raving where he repeats over and over and over and over again what I did wrong and that I am making him angry because of it.
A few days ago he was ranting over a subcontractor that he favors getting paid and wanted me to pay him under the table. I stood my ground because we are paying this guy quite a bit of money and he is poor at managing money.
I told Chef that he was treating the subcant tractor like a child and basically talking to me like a child and that both he and the subcontractor need to grow up and get into the real world. And yes I told him that if we should get audited we would be hosed which he doesn't really care about me sacrificing money as he's shown throughout the CS years.
Chef always claims he likes strong outspoken women but that is a fallacy because he loves talking down to me. I have stood up for myself lately and I'm still enjoying the book on mothers who cannot love.
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Good for you! *yahoo*
Good for you! *yahoo*
Well done for your
Well done for your assertiveness - I am learning to do the same, hopefully! *wink*
Glad you stood up for
Glad you stood up for yourself (I have to do the same over here). These men think they can push us around and we have to put up firm boundaries. I'm so sorry he is treating you this way. Don't let him raise his voice to you. That's abuse and while my DH is mostly good with this, it's happened to me a few times! If he gets loud you get louder and don't back down even if he tries to make you feel like you're in the wrong. Hold your ground!
When he says that there's things you do that make him mad yell right back at him that the feeling is mutual and lost a few things HE does that irritate the heck out of you.
hugs.
Well done and it sounds like
Well done and it sounds like its been about time!
And I love this response. : "I am not responsible for the way you feel about anything including me." I think I need to file this away to practice my own assertiveness when ( not IF) I get confronted with anyone trying to bullshit me, especially with those who still feel like its my job to manage their own emotional issues.
I always picture Chef in one
I always picture Chef as a tall and portly man in one of those puffy hats with an apron on that says something tacky and self-aggrandizing like "World's Sexiest Chef", standing over a kettle. But what he's stirring isn't food, it's a steaming pot of bullshite.
*ROFL*
Not quite
But he does think he walks on water. He is a shorter, powerfully built 56 yr old contractor with a middle aged spread/bald/shaves his head. Often grows an unsightly beard in winter. He's doing passive aggressive stuff this evening-- only serving himself for dinner which is some god awful, unsalted but over hot peppered watery goulash.
He's gone back to making huge amounts to "have leftovers for the rest of the week" (TM) which he tires if the day after. I haven't been able to take back control of the kitchen recently because of my office duties, homemaker duties and trying to do another gut rehab by January.
Some vendor yesterday complimented him on his youthful looks and he was on cloud 9 telling me about it.
Hey, the middle age man
Hey, the middle age man spread makes the rare compliment, even when it is far from realistic, well worth gloating about.
Then there are the truthful and actual compliments. DW hopped a flight for a one day recruiting trip last week. It was an out at noon, back at 9PM trip. To a neighboing State. She was going through the TSA PreCheck lane. When she gave them her ID the TSA agent looked at her ID, then at her, and told her it was a fake ID since her birth year was obviously wrong and should be from the 1980 decade and not the 1970 decade. She floated on air over that one for a week or more.
That TSA agent definately got it right. Of course I am not biased in any way. She is truly elegant and stunning.
Good for you!!! Please keep
Good for you!!! Please keep us updated on how Chef is enjoyin having his nose scrubbed in the shit stains he creates.
Great Job!!!
Some men only understand/respect strength.
Good!
Good!
Note to Chef = Take that!
Ah, my dear TT! For a decade
Ah, my dear TT! For a decade or more, I’ve been longing to gather the more aggressive of our members (hear me, Ani, Evil4, Lilly, StepUltimate et al?) and pay a midnight visit to Chef. Armed with our Flying Five Fist Monkey Nut Puncher, we’ll reduce Mr. Bullying Chef to a whimpering puddle of goo, clutching his mutilated junk and crying out for his mama.
He’ll find out, once and for all, what strong women are all about! A little violence, properly applied, is a suitable remedy for tyrants like your not-so-dear husband. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him and he needs to have that truth exposed as bluntly as possible. Rags, I’m unable to include you in the invitation for fear that the enterprise compromises too many of your remaining man-cards. Nome sayin’?
I don't qualify for the posse.
No worries. I'm fine watching.
Hey, Granny!
I'm not a violent person, but I do have a big truck, shovels, tarps, and ropes