Seriously, open up your eyes
I am wondering what is going to happen this weekend when I don't go to senior night. I have toured several apartments and townhomes. I am sure it is going to get ugly. But anyway today SO wanted to pick up SS from practice because he hasn't seen him. That is not an issue but the issue is that SS said I will let you pick me up if you take me to the store and buy me(and it is something for sports , I am not sure ) because I stopped listening. So now in order for your dad to see you he has to buy you something. My goodness. Time for me to buy something for myself on his card.
- RockyRoads's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
You need to take care of you.
You need to take care of you.
And Father of the Year
said yes, of course, my darling boy?
That is really gross that the
That is really gross that the kids use him like that in such an obvious way, too! Disgusting behavior. Of course it should be shut down and not tolerated but it seems like he will do anything for those kids even if it is ultimately bad for them and him. If he does nothing then nothing will change. Their behavior is escalating as they take advantage of him more and more. It's awful that they do it and it's awful that he allows it. He doesn't realize that's not a real relationship with them... They are using him for money and rides
Good for you for standing
Good for you for standing your ground on not going. Maybe you can take yourself to dinner or buy yourself something nice.
I am so worried about what
I am so worried about what might happen. He brought up going tonight and last night. I just have walked away and didn't acknowledge it. It starts while I am still at work. He is going to call me at work asking my why I am not home to go and then it will escalate. I will get blamed for ruining the entire evening for him. Ugh
Instead of walking away..
Instead of walking away.. just tell him. "DH, I told you I am not going.. so I don't need to discuss this any more with you ok?"
It will be more of a ruined evening if it all blows up that night.. I would pull the bandaid off now.
I have told him several times
I have told him several times I am not going and it causes a huge fight every time. I am worn down from it. I just didn't tell him the last two nights. Why bring that upon myself again. If he says it again tonight I will say something. But I just hat all of the anger and then sadness he throws at me for it. Yes I might look like the bad guy when I don't show tomorrow but I don't care. And if anyone asks me why I wasn't there I will say I had previous plans. I won't say the truth to anyone else. Becuse that what this family does, no one knows what truthfully goes on.
Can you understand why they
Can you understand why they divorced if your DH acted this way with BM?
Meh
Don't pick up when he calls and say you had to work this crushing over time. Ah yes, ye olde buying the skids love. That always works out. NOT!
When he starts calling I will
When he starts calling I will just text him back and say I told you I wasn't going and I am not , there will be no further discussion. And it is not like he will have to sit by himself. His cousin and his wife will be there so he can sit by them. This is definitely a parent event for people who have been in their kids lives. Not for me who really doesn't know the kids.
You stand your ground
There no need to go to every event that anybody cooks up. Senior night , jr night. 6 to grade night . You dint want to be near BM. what's so hard to understand. You will attend graduation, and wedding, birth of GK . AND that's it maybe
If he calls when you're at
If he calls when you're at work, do not answer. Eventually respond with a text message. "I'm working." "No."
I find his behavior worrisome. Please have your phone charged and with you at all times. Is there someone you can check in with twice a day at set times who will ask police to do a wellness check if you do not respond within a specific timeframe?
I do have someone that I can
I do have someone that I can be in contact with. Also if I see there might be a real issue there is security where I work and they can stop him from coming to my office if I ask. Also the door is locked to where my companies office is so he can't get in.
Good. My main concern is
Good. My main concern is outside of your work. You're vulnerable in your home, car, etc. Please be cautious and aware.
I don't think he would
I don't think he would physically abuse me. I do think I am in for alot of verbal abuse.He has just started on me about it again on the phone . Insisting I go. I told him no and don't ask again. He got mad and hung up. Now he is texting and pleading with me that ,he can't do this alone , this is for our family. Plus now SS is sick and SO has to take him to the doctors tonight. I guess BM is busy with her step child. I said if he is sick why isn't he going now. Well because if he misses school today or tomorrow he can't be on the field for the game tomorrow night. If he is sick he shouldn't be playing in a game. What crappy parenting from both of them. And SO proceeded to say he is upset because he has to take SS and he doesn't want to get sick from him. All of all of it is so messed up. I thought it would get easier since they don't stay with us and they are older. But one problem stops and another one starts. Kudos to all step parents who have it easier. And I feel for the ones who have it worse.
Rage / Pity / Charm Cycle
He's rotating through the Rage, Pity, Charm cycle, assuming one (or a combo) of those will get you to go.
Keep using the Broken Record Technique, and don't get sucked into arguing or explaining yourself (=which refreshes his opportunity to argue, command, plead, guilt-trip, etc.). Broken Record:
Sorry for the incomplete list; couldn't find a "Translate to D*ckhead language" website.
Once he got home. He was all
Once he got home. He was all over me about going. He did the full range of emotions, the whole guilt trip, the manipulation. I was doing just like what you said and had to repeat it dozens of times. He went from making me feel like a terrible person to pleading with me to the silent treatment. He says I am Not being fair and this is special to him and SD and I am going to make things bad for her. Then he changed it to we have to do things we don't want to for family and then when he was at his pleading stage it was asking me to go because he wants me there. What ever the reason it doesn't matter . I don't want to go and I shouldn't be the bad person for making decisions about what I want.
Does he understand that you
Does he understand that you are not family to them? That you are only dad's wife? That you have never been treated like family? Does he even understand that his daughter didneven want HIM there so why would she have been,happy to see you?
Boy oh boy oh boy, if ever a man needed counselling/therapy, its this one.
All brilliant. What pisses me
All brilliant. What pisses me off the most about this is that he is whining and crying about SS/his own damned kid getting him sick. This reeks to high heaven that DH wants the OP to take the SKid to the Doc so DH does not get sick. So, serving RockyRoads up to the virus bus ride with the sick SKid instead of the failed family breeder having to do it.
If it looks like a dog, smells like a dog, and barks like a dog........