A cautionary tale
In an earlier blog, I wrote about my beloved Dad having recently died. He has an adopted daughter, now 64 years old, and two nieces. After Dad divorced his ex-wife, his daughter (who had been difficult since early childhood, made worse by her mother’s PAS), blamed Dad for everything wrong in her life. Her only contact with him was when she wanted money or help paying her bills. She was unable to keep a steady job due to entitlement and poor time-keeping.
Like so many of the PASed skidults that we experience on StepTalk, the daughter’s attitude worsened when Dad married my mother, to the point where Mom refused to hand over the phone when the daughter called because her demands for money and subsequent abuse when the funds were not immediately forthcoming, upset Dad terribly. After a decade of the woman’s shrieking, malicious communications, Dad was done with both accepting her rage and paying her bills; he refused to accept her subsequent calls.
For the last four decades, including Dad’s time in his retirement residence after Mom’s death, there were no visits or contact of any kind between Dad and his biological family. The ones that he considered his ‘true family’, however, my five siblings and I, either visited or phoned him at least three times a week. When he was finally hospitalized, one of us was there every day.
My younger sister is in receipt of Dad’s will; he has left nearly three quarters of a million dollars to us six sibs, prepared in a way that is virtually airtight. We expected nothing from Dad. All the attention and support we’ve provided in the years since our mother’s death has been from our deep love and respect for him.
We talk a lot about karma on this site (right, Evil4?) and, although I try not to be spiteful, I hope that Dad’s legitimately adopted daughter considers what her cruelty and abuse has cost her.
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Comments
My dear friend, I doubt that
My dear friend, I doubt that nasty piece will be able to see past getting nothing. Hopefully, you and your siblings have a plan to legally tell her to p!ss up a rope if she starts crap with any of you.
A close family friend of some
A close family friend of some 50+ years, also a top-of-the-line lawyer, assured my sister that the will was ' virtually air-tight'. If the adopted daughter had not been such a horrific bitch to both Dad and my mother, we'd share but nope, she doesn't deserve any consideration from a family to whom she spewed such hateful vitriol.
Sounds like she's wirth a
Sounds like she's worth a wooden nickel...
Your Mon chose well!
I'm happy you had a great dad that you honor; and hope you and your siblings can enjoy your memories of having him bless your lives.
Sad to hear he had to deal with a selfish, PASd daughter. She had to be pretty horrible to inspire the airtight will.
I am sorry you lost your dear
I am sorry you lost your dear Dad, but it's good that he drew a line after many years of nastiness and stopped taking his daughter's calls. Like you, I am a granny and have observed in my long life, a little of how the Universe works. In the long run, you get back what you give out - greed and nastiness particularly. I have observed that the greedy, grasping BM in my life is now about to be homeless and is virtually penniless, all her own doing, really. Like you say, you did what you did for your Dad because he was a sweet man and you loved him, not expecting financial rewards. But enjoy the money when you get it, as well as your happy memories of a wonderful Dad.
I'm glad it looks like things
I'm glad it looks like things are legally sewed up. It's very important for people to make sure that their affairs are in order.. pretty much at any time. I just heard some sad news about a guy that just died yesterday.. he was in my class in high school.. nice guy.. good friend.. married his HS sweetheart.. still were together. He was so active and hiking the AT.. etc.. I can't imagine what happened.. it sounds a bit unexpected... and he wasn't quite 60. life is strange and unpredictable.
I'm glad your dad was able to leave you all something that will no doubt make all your lives a little easier and he would be happy to know that.
I have no doubt in my mind at
I have no doubt in my mind at all that you and your siblings dearly loved your dad, and the fact he split his estate between you all is a heartwarming closure for a very loving relationship. His adopted daughter really missed out - but mostly on the love and support you and your siblings enjoyed.
I hope you'll do something wonderful with this gift from your dad.
I'm so sorry for your loss!
I'm so sorry for your loss! Your dad splitting the estate between you and your siblings shows that your dad knew who his family was.
I hope you and your siblings do something special to honour your dad.
And yes, we talk about karma on here all the time. Karma can take longer than what a lot of people like, but it eventually happens. You and your siblings have each other and your lawyer friend to stand together should the adopted DD start her shenanigans.
You are giving adopto-daughter too much credit I think.
Invariably she will blame the 6 of you for isolating your father, taking all of his money, etc, etc, etc......
People like her do not posses the intellect or self awareness to recognize themeselves as the cause of the outcomes they experience.
Do not give her a thought. Celebrate your dad and live the lives as the wonderful people that you are and that he was so proud of.
My condolences on your loss.
Sounds like your Dad was a
Sounds like your Dad was a gem. I'm sorry for your loss.
Yes!
Your Dad was a smart man to realize that the "relationship" with his ex wife and her kids was a one way street and therefore planned accordingly. And yes they will think of your Dad as a male Joan Crawford.
People, life is short. Get that estate planning done!