This is all my DH wants to do, unless I’m willing to sit and listen to him go on ad nauseum about work he turns on the T.V. and sits on his phone.  I stopped doing it, now I just do my own things and pretty much told him I’m done holding his hand showing him how to be a human, he can sit and rot I’m going to do my own thing.  Guess who gets all upset now when I plan things or book things and he’s not included.  I told him he’s spent our marriage showing me the relationship he wanted and I’m done catering to that.  Now will he get up and start doing something, probably not, but that’s okay I’ve resigned myself that this is the extent I will get and I’m okay with that.  He doesn’t really apply to my life much anymore and that was his choice.  To those who say why not get divorced?  Well, I like my house, I’ve put a lot of time and effort into it, and I can’t afford it on my own.  It’s nice to have a companion from time to time who does want to do something with me, and honestly, I’m not in the mood to start my life over. 

No it's not too much and you need to call him on it.

Look, You want me to spend hours just sitting beside you while you watch and rewatch TV movies and shows that I have no interest in.  Yet, when I ask you to go for a short walk because I want to do something different.. YOU refuse.  Until you start meeting me half way.. you can watch TV on your own.  You want me to do things you want to do?  then maybe you should consider participating in some things I ask you to do mmmkay?

Sounds like classic stress and anxiety (and anxiety is a B*TCH) and possibly mild depression. He's stressed about work, his lazy daughter, how you'll react to his daughter being lazy. 

He's also probably upset about his daughter having no interest in him. It could be the age, parents are usually an afterthought in the late teens and early 20s. When they get older and have a family of their own, start buying a house etc. it might turn around. Or it might end up like my DH's situation where he gets a text on his birthday and a text on Father's Day but The Slunk Ape gets nightly hour long phone calls. 

A walk would be good for him. He's gotta get out of his head and go "touch grass". And aren't they ALWAYS up for seggs? Ugh. Always energy for that. 

Only way to fix it is getting him to eat healthy, exercise and maybe see his doctor.  Tell him the TV all day won't work for you, some is ok, but there are things he could do around the house too. Getting his daughter on some sort of path to success also would make him feel better. 

When my DH withdraws, I let him. I ask if he's ok or if something is going on and that's it. He has anxiety, ADD and mild chronic depression (sounds like this is how it's been since he was young so it's not new, but is amplified when he's stressed). He will watch a lot of sports on TV, or his computer, stay up late watching old movies. I cannot do that either. I ask him to do stuff with me and if he's not interested I'll do it myself. He does know when he's "disengaged" - so I let him sit with it. I remind him to do basic tasks (which I hate doing but if I don't I will have to and that's NOT a good thing for me to do at all). I live my life. If he wants to talk he can. He has a therapist (needs a different on IMHO), he has the smarts to do things. I'm not his leader.

He sounds like he's in a big funk /depressed with all of this tv watching. He's using the tv to zone out and tune out /escape. My husband has been playing video games so much this year... Usually by spring he's into other hobbies but for some reason this year the video games keep getting played. And I find it so annoying. Because he comes into the house after something we're out doing and immediately he goes to play video games.

In our house we do things together, go for drives, go to cafes etc and then in the evening we "do our own thing" for a couple of hours and then "reconvene" as we call it for some tv watching together at 8pm for an hour or 2

I think you should tell him you're ok with doing your own thing for a bit and then watch tv together for an hour or 2...he shouldn't be forcing you to watch tv for hours on end.. Doesn't sound fun.. 

He really does need to get out. Watching tv isn't going to help with his mood and depression 

That's all DH86 does, watch tv.  He also lives my life, ie, if I go somewhere, he wants to drive me.  He does nothing on his own.  He wants me to watch tv with him, too, but there is no way I will watch sports and political shows.  Thank goodness the way our house is, he can watch in the family room and I can watch mine in the living room.

It's all so odd cuz he was so active when younger.  He loved people and people loved him.  Now, he doesn't want to see anybody or answer his phone.  When someone does come, he's ok for awhile then gently nudges them out.

He sometimes comes to the living room and complains that I dont pay him enough attention. I'm on my phone too much, or laying on my couch too much.  So, i put down the phone, look at him and he starts talking about himself at length.   He never asks about what I think and disagrees with almost anything I say.

His only happiness is when we go to the casino, I love it, too.  The staff knows him, he loves it.  But there's a limit to how much we can go and with SD62 draining his "allowance", that is a limiting factor.  Sigh.....

I won't watch certain shows with my husband.. Like overly violent ones etc or one's that I find boring like Racing documentaries etc and he knows this.... And I have shows he doesn't want to watch too.. So we have shows we follow together and don't watch on our own.. We just finished Loudermilk and I really liked that show. Now back to Outlander, (new season) 

The tv stuff... That is a symptom.. It seems as though he is in a depressive state.. Would he consider therapy? I thought I'd remembered you saying he wouldn't.. I can see how you would find that triggering though  because he's essentially falling into patterns again.. It would help so much if he could go to a counsellor. It doesn't seem like he had many healthy outlets for when he is stressed. It would be nice if you could figure out some hobbies or things to do together that you both enjoy but he just seems to want to watch tv.... 

Just came to add that this dude really needs a therapist if he doesn't already have one. Seems he goes from depression to "acting out" with the online stuff. Bipolar maybe? 

Say whatever is on your mind. Do not subjugate yourself to his bullshit or his baggage.

Time to sit him down and give  him reality. "Either engage in making a life and marriage with me or GTF out. You have no choice and I want your answer immediately. It you choose to stay, then you are on the one microsecond at a time plan. You F up for a single microsecond, you are out, and we are done. You can go live with your idiot failed to launch daughter who is no longer living here, as of now."

I get a period of challenge, but a repeat of prior bullshit... just no.  Including digital adultery. Cheating is cheating. Do not tolerate it. Not even a hint of cheating.

Take care of you.