My husband's daughter was in a disfuntional relationship when I met him. She got pregnant and eventually things went south and she was a single parent. She ended up getting pregnant with another guy's child. 1st guy is in jail or on the street. Both are not involved at all. She had trouble finding a place to rent due to the fact that she has 2 big dogs. Single Mom with 2 kids on Welfare and can't find a place to live. She would not give up the dogs, so was forced to rent expensive terrible places. So due to this fact, she had to rent out rooms to people to pay the rent. She couldn't live with us, due to her having the dogs. We lived in an apartment complex. All she had to do, was rehome the dogs and she could have had a nice subsidized apartment to get on her feet.  She now works full time.

Long story  Due to the fact she was renting out rooms, tenants got into a fight, police were called, and social services were called in. They came to the house and basically said due to the way she was living, she was not able to live there and have the kids. Sooo she found a place that she could afford in another town. Social services basically said if she didn't get her crap together, they would take the kids. We sold our place to get her out of the bad place she was in and found a big house and big yard for kids and dogs.  She pays rent.  At first I would cook, but she would never help with dishes, or cleaning, or even say thank you.  I stopped, due to the fact that I work all day, come home, and as she is sitting on her butt on her day off, asked me what was for dinner. She empies the dishwasher, but will leave things on the counter as she "doesn't know where it goes" She has lived with us for 4 years! will dump 3 day old dirty lunch dishes into the sink for me to put in dishwasher.  ( I load, she empties) All she does it empty the dishwasher. Thats it! Her dogs destroyed my hardwood floors, because they ran around like wild animals everywhere.  (they both have passed away)

Last Christmas, she gave us gifts from kids. I got a coffee thermos for the car. GREAT. I went to use it. It was USED and dirty.  Then realized that everything she gave us, came from the lost and found table at the kid's school. But spent a $$$ on her new boyfriends family.  Fathers Day, she gave him a another mug, (she gives them all the time, $1.50 at dollar store) and the children made a card and a bag of rocks. Yes, rocks. Kids are 8 and 6. I could write 100 pages of this sort of stuff. Every holiday, b-day, whatever, is just pathetic. She drinks like a fish (closet alcoholic), smokes and vapes, works full time, expects me to get up at 5am everyday to take kids to babysitter or daycare, ( I won't look after kids on weekends anymore due to the fact that she is not appreciative of it)  Says she is broke, yet works in healthcare in a good job. 

Last night was the straw. Leading up the bday of youngest she never discussed what she had planned, cake or dinner, NOTHING. I told my husband I might be late. I did say for them to eat, but I was angry because I feel my husband should have said, NO, wait till Gramma gets home. ( It wouldn't have killed them to wait an extra 20 min) I got home at 5:15. I had taken out chicken to cook, as there was no discusson on what was to be made for dinner, so I continued to cook our dinner. No communication. I told my husband, that basically we were not invited to the party, as there was no communication about anything. We all live together. She made dinner, left it on a plate, in the kitchen, lit the candle on the cake, kids ate, she put cake away, We gave a little gift and child opened it, but wasn't allowed to fully open it, as it was time for bed.  She is in such a hurry to get her kids to bed ( she drags them out of bed at 5am) So she can go to her room, talk on the phone and get drunk, almost everyday.  She is 32 years old. She sleeps through her alarm everyday, So I have to listen to that for an hour, until she hears it. (she has 4-5 alarms go off --not exaggerating)

She makes terrible decisions and this is what led to her moving in with us. Her father has had enough, because I keep complaining about her behaviour, that it affecting our marriage, as its driving me out of my mind.  I told him I want to sell and move out of province and start fresh. He doesn't want to. I am afraid to kick her out, because she will continue to make poor life decisions and get herself into a bad place again. The 4 years of BS. She complains to her dad that I don't involve her in anything when my daughter comes to visit, but all she does is get drunk and its bloody annoying. Try and have a fun conversation with a drunk. My mental health is in the toilet, and I have hand mini break downs in the last 4 years. I hate living in this house.  I explained that when we all moved in together it was supposed to be a family unit. We all help each other. One can dream.  This morning, my husband poured his coffee, she poured her coffee, I poured my coffee, and the lid fell off of carafe. ???? It doesn't come off.  She is filthy, her coat which i bought her for a gift 3 years ago, is so dirty, its gross. I have had to sneak it into the wash twice to clean it, as its black from filth. 

I have never actually confronted her, as I feel its her Dad's reponsibility to manage his daughter.  He says he does, but nothing changes. As much as I love him, I am about to make some harsh decisions. So sorry for that, I needed to vent.