The big brush off
So DH and I had a nice day yesterday. As we were driving home I accidently hit the car phone and dialed one of DH kids on the car phone. Yes I know. Apparently she had not called or texted DH because she wished him HFD. So DH starts telling her about my kids over for dinner and how my DIL pregnant. He told he all about it. Shower etc. I'm sitting there rolling my eyes because she has not seen my son in over SIXTEEN years!! Hell, they would not recognize each other on the street. DH going on with all details and she's saying how wonderful it is!!! TOTAL FAKE. At that point I was shrugging my shoulders. Lol. Then he tells her how she and him really need to see one another. It's been over a year and she then throws in the dagger that she is going to her in-laws again for a week in July then it's her sisters in Aug and maybe in next month or so. The big brush off. She and I said not a word to each other.
In some ways maybe it provokes her to discuss my kids with her. She's had years to participate however and refused. After the call I asked DH why he even discusses me and my kids with her.
I think of the new poster how she is starting out with someone who ignored her wedding and ignores her. She sounds like more open warfare than me but we are at that same place. Such a waste of time
I'm guessing her feefees got
I'm guessing her feefees got hurted because he gushed over your kids and her mind didn't comprehend that the reason he did that is because it's a part of his life since they bother to see him. So she decided to hurt him back for having the audacity to tell her about the kids that make the effort for him.
Poor her, feefees all hurty.
She tells him all the time
She visits her in-laws who are the same distance as we are from their home. It's so hurtful and he ignores that. He did that with their mother too. What's crazy is that they text all the time. But maybe that's serving her needs. She certainly doesn't care about him.
I think you're right. But
I think you're right. But does he really want to spend time w/ her in person or is he content w/ the relationship they have?
He chased their mother
And that is how it is with these kids now. Last night he sent a group text to his siblings including his kids about how he loves being a father and he had several pictures of his immediate family with his adult kids the last time they were together like 8 years ago. Nobody responded and in some way it's ridiculous. He's trying to get water from stone. I told years ago the story about dogs. You chase them they run faster. You make noise and run in opposite direction they likely will run after you. He just doesn't get it.
Excellent point about the
Excellent point about the dogs. It made me laugh and is so true.
I'm embarrassed for him about the group text with the 8-year-old photo. "Pweese like me." omg.
It took him so much time
To write that silly text. he's very corny at times. But his siblings did not respond to it. They have no contact with his kids. I think it's way past the point of the dog story. Although they might be thinking of wills etc so they might turn around.
I would DH will find pride in himself
And stop the graveling, if his kids don't want to see him they are not going to. What ever the problem is, this didn't solive it.
He’s been in a foul mood since
He's been very quiet and sad looking since FD. I think he realizes there has been a shift in the universe. His brother canceled coming and now seems like he has his own issues and no definite plans in sight.
I tried to talk with DH about it. Told him that maybe raving about my kids doesn't help. He refused to discuss it. Says there is no issue with her and I am looking for problems. Whatever. His wheelhouse.
I think SD has found a nice normal family in her in-laws. They are still married to each other. No steps. All with little kids and it works for her. For years as a teen in HS and college she refused to speak with DH but collected his money for everything. Now she doesn't need the money and clearly goes elsewhere for company. I guess with my family I thought of my parents and what would make them happy. I cooked and had them over every MD and FD and all the holidays too. I told SD once "Why don't you ever spend a holiday with your dad? It would mean the world to him!" Clearly these adult kids don't care about the other parent.
The whole "chase me" game
Luckily husband doesnt chase. And then SD25 Feral Forger likes to call him ATM dad or Sperm donor. While asking for money. Its hard to watch, but when it comes to money, thats when they seem to turn around...