She’s Back
So the bio mom has been out of the picture for 10 years. She was in and out of jail, doing drugs, etc. but SD turns 18 and contacts her immediately. Her mom starts up with LIES about DH. She said there was a no contact order and that he was forcing her to pay child support even though (she victimizes herself once again..)..."Im so poor. I have no money. Im so sorry kids. I love you soo much." Is that why she didn't contact them for 10 years? Any ways, so SS16 hears all these lies from SD18 who believes everything the bio mom tells her and SS16 then proceeds to message his mom and apologize to her about "his dads nearly criminal behavior." Mind you, their dad is so involved and takes phenomenal care of them.
i personally cannot deal with her being back in our lives and the lies and attacks being thrown at my husband. I am not sure what to do but I was wanting to take an extended vacation or something to get away from all of it. The only reason ive lasted this long is because she was not bothering us.
- HelpWanted's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
This sounds like a lot (to
This sounds like a lot (to put it mildly). I vote for the extended vacation.
Time for a sit down with the
Time for a sit down with the Skids to review all of the facts. Any court docs, BM arrest records, etc... In fact, have it all pulled together by a lawyer and take them to the lawyer's office for a full meal deal review of it all. Money well spent to have someone in a suit with certiricates on the wall go through all of the official records and explain reality.
With the 16yo, after that, tell the 16yo that they are welcome to go live with thier lying POS BM but if the kid chooses that, they are done.
Sometimes, young adults need to be forced into the deep end of their shit choices.
Make that happen.
I would.
Time for SKid-18 and SKid-16 to be immediatley cut off from all benefits associated with daddy, you, your marital income, your home, your family, etc.... Then regularly ask them how life is working out for them and if they are ready to pull their heads out of their own asses and return to a life lived by people of quality.
The problem is that they want
The problem is that they want to believe her because she's not the one giving them house rules. She is open to anything and everything they suggest. They will believe what they want to believe because it has to fit their narrative. Its funny because I told my husband to stop chauffeuring them everywhere and paying for everything they want but he just says that wont help anything. He literally just goes on acting likr nothing iis going on. I also told him to let them go live with her since shes so great in their eyes. Lol he wont do that of course because in all honesty she would probably get them killed. well, yeah, I think I need to try that disengaging trend and just start doing things away from the home and with friends. This is bothering me more than anyone else apparently.
I agree they may ignore the
I agree they may ignore the actual truth anyway, bit it's worth doing. IF your husband wants to do it. Otherwise keep disengaged and ignore.
Exaclty why they should have
Exaclty why they should have the CO clearly read to them, arrest records, full court documents, etc, etc, etc...
They can make the narrative fit their delusional minds but they should have to do that while having the facts.
Then when shit blows up, they should be reminded of those facts. Over, and over, and over again.
I'm with Rags on this one.
I'm with Rags on this one. They DESERVE the truth and they need to see the facts... preferably before their mother leads them so far down the blatant lies road that their entire future is compromised.
Did you ever see the episode of Friends where they find out that the only reason Fun Bobby was fun was that he was drunk all the time. Maybe they need to see why their mother is so much better than dad.
With him, they have a chance at a future. Give them that future
Yes! I remember that episode!
Yes! I remember that episode! The truth is though, they know the truth now. My husband told them the truth and to be honest, they have known to some extent what she has been doing all along. But they want to believe what they want to believe. So yes, I do think disengagement is the right answer for me. I just feel bad for my husband because he is kind of trapped.He is so concerned that they like him and nothing else.