Miserable to be around
I don't know what to do for myself. SS is becoming unbearable to be around. As most of you know he is in travel baseball season which is requiring driving long hours and spending days out of town. He got to pitch one game and actually hit two times but they lost the game and he did not play again all weekend. I go so that I am with my SO . If I didn't go to the games I wouldn't be around my SO much during this time of year.. We get to do alot of walking and we get to spend time together at meals with each other mostly alone because SS doesn't want to be around us and goes with some other team members. Whose parents are around . I guess that is good because the child is miserable to be around. Everything he says comes out of rude. I have to be in the car with him for hours and then in a hotel room. My SO doesn't even know how to approach his own child. It is hard to explain how he acts. So what would you do , go to the games to be with your SO to spend time with him or stay home so you don't have to put up with SS.
- RockyRoads's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I have to be in the car with
me personally I LOATHED traveling with skids
Not necessarily their fault because their parents raised them with Disneyland Resort level of entitlement and expectations
But nonetheless I dodged MULTIPLE attempts at being stuck with them endless hours on what I expected to be relaxing weekends.
One time in the beginning of my relationship I invited dude and his kids on a weekend trip. Paid for his kids luggage, a room in an upscale hotel for him and his kids, a rental car for them, and food .... basically an all expense paid trip.
The.entire.time his kids complained about the food, the room (how they g0d forbid had to share a bed/room), the activities (excuse me for attempting to bring some culture into your lives and offer to take you to one of the top museums in the area)
What helped me not lose my sh*t dealing with his entitled rude ingrates was:
I assume you've talked to SO
I assume you've talked to SO about the issue. (Sigh.)
If your SO isn't willing to step up, I'd be tempted to stay home.
Another alternative is to (and, in hindsight, I wish to God I had done this way back when) confront the kid yourself and tell him to cut the sh**.
Consider that you two are now SOs, not DH and DW. Think about that a lot. As you can see from ST forums and blogs, this is a rough road to travel.
Good luck.
We have discussed it. He
We have discussed it. He knows how I feel and he doesn't even like to be around him anymore but still goes above and beyond for him. He doesn't understand how to talk to his son.
Aside from professional
Aside from professional hockey, I don't really enjoy watching sports (and going to youth sporting events is even more torturous for me). So, even if the kid were pleasant to be around, I'd still choose to stay home. The relationship probably wouldn't work out if he was really involved in his kid's sports.
I think for me it might be 50
I think for me it might be 50/50, go to some of the places you enjoy and want to be at, then the other times stay home and enjoy some alone time or time with friends/family, whatever floats your boat.
I did the travel ball for so
I did the travel ball for so many years. I went to the games to be with SO. We learned a lot about each other, since like you, we basically drove him, sat and watched the games, but after that we were on our own. SS spent his time with the other teammates.
We purchased a travel trailer after the first season for many reasons, one being that the hotels you stay in with the kids was nothing but the parents drinking until wee hours in the morning and letting the kids run amuk. The next morning the kids and the parents were useless and made the games much harder to watch LOL
DH and I enjoyed those times after the games when we would go back to the campground, throw SS in the pool, grill dinner, put him to bed and had adult bevvies by the fire.
Its your choice on how you get to spend your time. I did alternate so that I would go to a game on weekend, beach by myself the next, and mix in times with friends.
We must stay in the same
We must stay in the same hotel as the team. Those are the rules for every away game we have been to. Even if we could do this SS would refuse to be away from the team.
Refuse?
How exactly does a kid refuse to do something they are told to do by their parent?
Mind boggling that one is.
GTF in the car, sit down, put on your seat belt, STFU and do what you are Told. Whether or not we bring you to the game in the AM will be entirely dependant on your behavior at the RV park. Got it?
As for being required to stay in the same hotel with the team. Nope. Dump the kid on a team mate's family of the coach if they make a stink about you staying in your RV at a near by RV park.
We don't have an RV anyway .
We don't have an RV anyway . The tournaments reguire that each player book a room for whatever amount of nights. There really is no choice anyway.
Travel ball is a excuse,
For the parents to have an excuse to go away, and drink. And not letting the kids not bother them
If it was me
I'd ask myself which would make me feel worse - spending weekends being miserable at a tournament or spending weekends alone, which is not to say you couldn't spend time with friends or family while your SO isn't there.
I'd opt out of the next one and see how that feels. What I would try not to do is let SO guilt me into going, which he'll probably try. But I know that's easier said than done.
He does tell me it is my
He does tell me it is my choice to go or not to go but I know he wants me there. Plus he did promise that he was making BM split the games so we only end up with three out of towns but it is very hard with SS and him being a turd.
Hmm? Promise? What are the odds he will deliver on that promise?
He made sure when the text
He made sure when the text came out about booking the rooms that she booked her the ones she has to go to. So she is booked. She tired to get out of one and he said he would trade and then she said never mind.
Deepest Sympathies
You have my deepest sympathies. My SS12 does nothing extracurricular so this is something I get to avoid for the most part. But "vacations" are miserable when he's involved. Food, accomodations, activitites, nothing pleases him. He'd rather sit on his butt with one of his 15 electronics than spend time on a beach (which we don't live near). I don't envy your predicament but I'm glad your SO prioritizes spending time with you even when the time is devoted to accomodating the SS's activities.
My SKs won't go on vacation
My SKs won't go on vacation with us. It is sad but also a relief. SO is getting better with making sure I am as comfortable as I can be especially since I have to put up with SS.
I'd sit some of them out and
I'd sit some of them out and see how it goes. You may find it more pleasant spending the weekend alone. You can always make plans with family or friends while they are gone. Better than being stuck in a car or hotel room with annoying rude SS. Your husband will probably try to guilt you into coming with him though.
I would probably sit them out
I would probably sit them out.. unless the location is one you want to explore a bit on your own... you can drop them off at the field.. have dinner with your SO and do your own thing during the day.
I would go and do things but
I would go and do things but the games sometimes end early or start earlier then scheduled and I could end up leaving then with no ride. I wouldn't want SO to deal with whatever SS would unleash on him if that happened. The uncomfortableness comes when SO is trying to talk to SS in the car and for brief moments when we need to know what he is doing. Like if he is eating with team members or hanging out with them. Even if he needs money. It is all awkwardness with SO and SS. It is hard to describe. I think parents and children should have better communication then they do.
Poor time management on the
Poor time management on the part of DH, SS, and the league are not your problem. Drop them off for the game, then go for a half day spa session at a local resort. Tell DH to text you when they are done and you will finish up and head over to pick them up. As for the ration of shit that SS will dump on daddy, put your foot up the kids ass when you pick them up. "Do not speak to my husband that way!. Now, hike your ass back the hotel and we will follow you with the flashers on. GET GOING!"
You have to make friends with the
Parents of other team members. Enjoy time with them. Go out for a few drinks at hotel. No DWI. your are walking. Let DH and SS do there own thing. Kids are not allowed in the bar. Have a good time. Ear pods. For the car ride. Listen to something you like.