Never saying no
Hi guys. I don't know why I keep staying with this man. You all know his kids don't stay with us and are not nice to him. He asks me if it is safe for SD to keep her prom dress here because of the cats and what he should tell her . I said we are also going to be having two bathrooms remodeled. He then gets all upset because he said he told her yes. I told him it is on him what he does. He then gets angry at me saying how can he tell Her no now. I then asked him his thought process on why he acts like this towards me. He said I am always against his kids. I am against how he handles his kids , especially when he asks me something and all I do is answer. I posted this on another site and got reamed for not letting SD keep her dress here. I never said no. He asked me about it. Let me explain more of what I know. Not sure why she doesn't just make room for it where she lives. There is no garment bag. We have a young cat that may climb on something long and it can open bifold closet doors. There is only one closet where it will be completely safe and that will be emptied and renovated along with the main bathroom. The prom is not until May. If there is one string hanging BM will run my SO through the coals. My SO has such bad OCD he will constantly be yelling at me to watch the cat and where it is going. I think SD should be told of all consequences of her dress being here, especially if she is looking for a safe place for it. I just can't understand why it isn't a no. Why is it so hard. Oh and I found out that SS batting lessons are not $60 a lesson but $120. SO won't tell SS and BM he can't afford it. And he hasn't told me how much it is. I am sure it is because he doesn't want me to be mad. And it doesn't matter who's money it is paying for these lessons it still ends up hurting me somehow. Not as nice of a vacation or less going out together. It is like I stay for a few good days a month with us being a happy couple with no arguments.
- RockyRoads's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Amazon
Buy SD a garment bag.
'TWO DH paying for his DS batting lessons should be discussed with you before paying for the lessons. A monthly expense of $500 is a lot of money. Saying that you knew he has kids he was there father. Kids need money. The older they get the more money they need. I.e. car. ...car insurance...college ....living,,,books,, travel....marriage...
'in a relationship money is out in the open not hidden. That's disrespectful to you.
As far as I know the dress is
As far as I know the dress is going to her grandfather's house now. He finally told me about the baseball lessons. He said he is not even giving half and that the lessons will be spread out more. But he will not tell SS no , that they are just too expensive.
The truth is that no matter
The truth is that no matter how hard you try to keep construction dust out of the rest of your house, it WILL get everywhere!!
I think you need to try the approach of taking care of poor widdle SD.
"Honey, it would be nice to help protect SD's prom dress here but I'm worried about the construction dust and what if there is a mishap during construction, I would never forgive myself if something happened to SD's dress. This is a big day for her and I know she's spent a lot of money on this dress. Let's see if we can find a safer place to keep it because it would not be easy to replace if it were damaged. And she would be devastated!"
If you play the concerned and caring stepmother, how can he find fault with that?
I was done with it after he
I was done with it after he got upset with me. He called her back said she could keep it here but gave her reasons why it might not be the best place. It is going to her grandfather's house.
Or you could disengage and if
Or you could disengage and if something happens to the dress, oh, well, so BM will yell at your SO. Let him deal with the consequences. As for the extra cost for SS and not telling you about it, that's a problem. I hope you have separate bank accounts.
If it were myself I would say
If it were myself I would say "I know that it's important so I will leave this task to you to handle as you see fit to keep the dress safe."
"Well dear, since you made
"Well dear, since you made the decision before talking to me about it, anything that happens w/ said dress is 100% on you. I hope you've thought over your decision because it will not be on me no matter what"
It is not being kept here now
It is not being kept here now. But even if I would have put it all in him. It would have been months if his anxiety about it and yelling at me to make sure doors were closed etc.
Good Lord, here's how he can
Good Lord, here's how he can tell her no....
"SD I know that I said we would keep your dress here, but after thinking on it I realized that probably isn't a good idea. You see we are having some remodeling done. I would hate for your dress to get covered in construction dust but it would be out of my control."
That's not being mean to his daughter. That is explaining to her the reality of the situation. Sometimes things just aren't feasible.
He did finally tell her the
He did finally tell her the cons about it being here. But I wish I knew why there isn't one inch of space at her house and if it is so important to store somewhere how much did this thing cost.
You are right
In a remodeling dust gets everywhere. Five years from now. You will find construction dirt. That the price you pay for remodeling. A valuable dress like a prom dress should not be kept at your house. Until construction is completed. If the dress is keep at your house. Plan on cleaning it before the prom. Get a garment bag from Amazon
I am sure SO would put it on
I am sure SO would put it on me to take care of the dress and I don't want any parts of it. Have the burden of the dress but no getting to enjoy anything SD does. No thanks.
Is it possible that she doesn
Is it possible that she doesn't actually like the dress and that she's hoping it will get damaged , one way or another (and, yes, a speck of dust will silutely "ruin" it for her), so she can demand you buy her a new one?
will it even fit or be the
will it even fit or be the style she wants in 5 mo?
A friend was just asking me
A friend was just asking me this. Wondering why she bought it so soon and asking if it would fit. And we discussed that she is done with cheer so that eliminates a physical activity. And she has a boyfriend now who is larger in statue and likes to eat. That makes me think that it might mean she will be eating more. And any little bit of weight could make a difference. I could just see it being at our house and it not fitting in 5 months and us being accused of our house shrinking it. Lol