SD62's medical
SD62 is on disability and is also a drama queen. She has legitimate medical issues but because she exaggerates and lies so often, it's hard to determine the truth.
She called DH86 last night, her blood pressure was over 200 at the drugstore. Supposedly, the pharmacist said she should go to the ER and offered to call an ambulance. She was back home when she called He urged her to call her doctor today. She did and was told to go to the ER. At the ER, they determined that her blood and iron were low again and her heart was beating 4x more that it should. She goes tomorrow for another blood infusion, is getting more iron and should see a neurologist (memory issues), cardiologist and oncologist (may be why her heart isn't getting the oxygen it requires).
As aged parent and stepparent, it's hard to determine what to do. She seemed to be hinting for DH86 to take her to the hospital today (she ended up calling an ambulance,). He doesn't do well driving anywhere he's not familiar with and wouldn't go without me. Last year, when she had us picking her up from a distant hospital, he was driving her car and I drove her in mine. I got very frank with her and told her he shouldn't be driving to distant places. And, I said I was doing 3 things I shouldn't with weak eyes: driving on a highway, driving in the rain and driving in the dark.
She has 3 kids but is estranged from 2 of them. DH86 urged her to call the other daughter but excuse, excuse, excuse. I think they are having some kind of drama right now. But she ended up having her daughter bring her back home today.
Anyway, the drama never ends. I think the medical issues are real but we will see. On and on.
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Comments
The issues probably are real
The issues probably are real but the smoking doesn't help and she might bot be taking her meds consistently or may be eating a high salt diet. At least the ER and ambulance are free for her if she's on disability.
Rx inconsistency and poor diet
You're right about her not taking her Rx correctly and having a poor diet but thank goodness she doesn't smoke. It's sad about her diet, her food is mostly free but I don't think she really knows what a good diet is. In 50 years, I have never seen her eat a piece of fruit. The only vegs are potatoes and canned corn and green beans.
I was about to suggest Uber
I was about to suggest Uber but if the ambulance ride is free then she needs to use that or she needs to move somewhere where public transportation can get her to the hospital. It's not safe for your DH to be driving and you don't need the stress.
Agree
I totally agree.
SD62 needs to find a new
SD62 needs to find a new/different support system. Has she always been so dependent on your DH?
Dependent on DH
During her 2 marriages, the dependency lessened but since her last divorce in 2010, DH had been her only rock. She has 3 kids but the 2 youngest keep their distance, seem to not want to get sucked into the never-ending drama. I think the other one would love to distance herself, too, but depends on SD62 for babysitting and "loans" which SD can't afford.
Please take care of yourselves…
Let her know that you are concerned about her health, but due to your own health issues you and DH cannot be available any longer for transportation. She can call an ambulance. What is she going to do when your DH is gone? What if you also pass on before she does? You've been through so much...please give yourself permission to say no to anything that stresses you or DH out.
Saying no
DH86 has surprised me these past few years. There was a time years ago when, if she even hinted at one of us doing something for her, he was on it immediately cuz "poor SD". He took her to many dr appts. I think her yearlong stay here 8 years ago opened his eyes somewhat. He saw her drug use, her unwillingness to work, even the simplest jobs, and her poor judgement. So, now tho he responds to her calls for $, he seldom drives anywhere. Sometimes he lies when she asks for $, says he has none. He still talks to her tho sometimes doesn't call her back or delays.
She is going to be hysterical when he passes. I plan to have one of the other kids "babysit" her so I will be able to grieve myself.
I am happy for you and DH
I am happy for you and DH that you are finding some peace in the storm of SD62.
I hope that trend continues.
You and DH take care of yourselves. It is long past time for SD62 to end her demands on you both.
Funny how the only time an
Funny how the only time an addict doesn’t share their “medical emergency” is when they have O.D. and had to be NARCANed back to life. Thankfully it sounds like your DH isn’t capable of physically rushing to her aide anymore.