Tough week coming up
December is always my most difficult month but there's instant relief after the 25th. So far, it hasn't been bad but I have a challenging week coming up.
Monday, I'm getting a tetanus shot, no big deal, then the trudge thru Walmart to stock up. Tuesday, my 100yo mom is having a squamous cell cancer removed from her nose. They said it will be a long day. Wednesday, I'll go to the Y Silver Sneakers then rest, I know Tuesfay will be stressful. Thursday, I have an appt with one of my 3 eye doctors to discuss a possible operation. Friday, SD62 is having Christmas at her place. Anything involving her is a potential disaster.
She has 3 kids, daughter C40, son K34 and daughter M32. During her last $ emergency ($800+ car trouble), DH86 urged her to call her kids for help, he's been telling her to depend on others, he won't always be here. C is too poor herself and she worships K and M, from her 2nd marriage, and keeps bad news from them. But she did call K asking for help. A day or so later, she said she got an angry call from M telling her to never call K again for money or she'd never see M's kids again.
With SD62, you never know what's true and what's fabricatiokn so who knows what happened. DH takes everything she says as gospel so he's down on K and M, doesn't care if he sees them at Christmas or not. I doubt K will be there, he never is, and that's probably a big night at the restaurant he manages. But M texted me today saying she'd heard something about Christmas at Moms. I told her date and time, who was coming and that I'd advised everyone no gifts unless for the kids. She agreed and said she hoped no one would even get the kids stuff, if anything, something small.
So, stay tuned, I feel drama coming. At the very least, SD62 will call stressing over the food and listing all the foods she will prepare but never does. Thank goodness she gets food on her disability or she'd be asking us for money. I always tell her to cut back, people arent there to eat, just want to see each other and talk.
So, happy holidays everyone. My happy holidays will be after Friday. Lol.
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Comments
I'm right there with you,
I'm right there with you, except my relief won't be over until the 29th (still it's better than last year when they stayed for 11 DAYS).
I can't believe it's taken your DH 62-freakin-years to finally start weaning his daughter off the gravy train. It sounds like the kids have no intention of supporting their mom the way your husband has and I don't blame them. I'm so sorry your husband has caved to her for so long, and I don't know how you've tolerated it. I would have lost my sh- decades ago.
He just doesn't get it
He can't understand why they won't help their mom. He fails to realize they grew up watching her drain the family's finances and make unwise decisions (lying, temper tantrums, infidelity, drugs). To top it off, she drained M's college fund which her ex#2 carefully built up from his 2 jobs. M had to finance her education to become a teacher with student loans. Think thst might have something to do with M"s attitude, DH?
My guess is they watched their dad suffer from her financial drain and vowed it wouldnt happen to them. Boundaries. Or, who knows, SD could have blown up a simple "no" to gain DH's sympathy.
So, Friday night should be "interesting". I plan to nring a big bottle of wine. It's a shame we have to count down the days til we can enjoy the holidays ourselves.
"He can't understand why they
"He can't understand why they won't help their mom."
......Um.... Because she's a nutcase?!?!
I'm sorry, my husband would act the same way. He's always saying to me that he is glad Little Idiot "cut off" The Skunk Ape because in his mind The Skunk Ape just "uses her". BUT if Little Idiot had kids and they cut her off for the same reason I'm sure I would hear how heartless and cruel those kids were from DH. (Also he's completely wrong because if anything it's the other way around - The Skunk Ape sends money to help Little Idiot regularly and Little Idiot does nothing for her mother in return. Ever)
I don't know what it is with these men and their kids. Mama bear?? Seems to me that there should also be a "papa bear" term bcause these dads get so defensive it's unreal.
JRI, my prayers and healing
JRI, my prayers and healing wishes for your eye balls. I get it. I just had injections in both of mine on Monday. Right now my Opthalmalogist is advising we do not do surgery. My vision is adequat and the risk of complications and infection are not worth the climb according to my Doc.
I truly hope your run down to the 25th is far calmer than you forcast.
3 things going on here
Thank goodness I'm not getting jnjections in my eyes, you poor guy. I have the cornea Dr for my cornea dystrophy, my retina dr after my retina peel last year and my glaucoma Dr who I'm seeing Thursday. She kind of oversees it all and it might be time for the cornea transplant they've been predicting for years. I hate medical procedures but it is what it is.
I am nearing a retina peel
I am nearing a retina peel myself. On my right eye. A film formed on part of my R retina about 5yrs ago. It did not impact my vision until it started shrinking and warped that part of my retina. I also have retinopathy and have had extensive LASER procedures on buth eyes. I also have had persistent corneal erosion in my L eye but that has been resolved with a debridement and LASER surface procedure. My DW had that same problem several years before I had it and her doc did a corneal multiple perferation procedure. Luckily, for both of us, the treatment has worked. Corneal errosion is the most painful thing I have ever experienced.
Working in the Electrical Engineering field for much of my career and having spent time around microwave generators and high power signal equipment I also have some small cataracts that will likely require correction at some point.
How was the retina peel? I have heard that the recovery is a challenge due to having to lie on your front for a week+. And traveling is restriicted if they need to inject a gas bubble.
Recovery
They don't make you lie on your stomach anymore, I had heard that, too. Recovery was smooth with slowly improving (months) sight.
Thank you so much. Good to
Thank you so much. Good to hear.
Will be thinking of you, JRI.
Will be thinking of you, JRI. That's a lot of stress. Hope all goes well for your Mom.
Thinking about joining a Silver Sneakers program after the new year. I've never stuck with a gym membership or exercise program, but concerned about strength and balance as I move deeper into aging.
We visit my family and SS after Christmas. Still no word from SD, and DH is holding firm thus far in not chasing her.
Silver Sneakers
I'm the most unathletic person in the world but, like you, decided to work on my strength and balance. I have been so favorably impressed by the SS program. In 45 minutes, they manage to work every muscle from eyeballs on down. Lol. The other people are in my age group, some better, some worse, no judgement. They play our generation's music. Its been good, I'm trying to do 3x a week. You'll like it.
How do you sign up for SS?
Im 63 but on Obamacare (and paying a pretty penny for it).
Sign up
I went to the Y and was going to pay but found out my insurance, Aetna, pays for it. Happy day.
Some Senior Ceters here ave
Some Senior Ceters here ave Silver Sneakers classes. Mine has the class. Senior Center is free if you can show town residence ($15 a year if you don't live in town).
Prayers and happy holidays,
Prayers and happy holidays, JRI.
That sure is a lot JRI
That sure is a lot JRI
So sorry (((HUGS))))
Wishing you and your mom' the very best during the up coming appointments.
ooof
Prayers for your eyes and your holidays.
We currently have zero plans. SD powersulk will or might be with us, and we have not gotten any presents for anyone. Husbands family is having a gathering december 30th so I wont have to worry about seeing feral forger until then...
Yup, JRI!
Yup, JRI!
The song is ended but the melody lingers on. Getting the toxics out the door does not necessarily end their negative effects on one's family. Because she has no pride, your SD will be relentless in her pursuit, beyond the grave, of her father’s assets. You’re a sensible and resilient woman, well able to keep the B at bay but it’s still sad that she’s able to compromise your enjoyment of Christmas with her drama and nonsense.
Oh my goodness....she's
Oh my goodness....she's having a party???!!!! Ugh.
Good luck with the eye appointment. I have eye issues and it can be a worry. My fingers are crossed that you have a great appointment.
Maybe find a way to not go to SDs party? Say your eyes are giving you problems from the exam? You and DH could both skip it? Or would there be fallout? The older I get, the more I avoid certain situations.
Illness
Perhaps its just a coincidence but in the past 2 days, 3 people have spoken to me about illness. OSS says he was exposed to covid by his co-worker who is very sick. I told him not to come if he gets sick. DS says his wife is sick and went to Urgent Care. I told him not to come if she's sick. Then today, SD62 called to say she's having a recurrence of some issues so may be going to Urgent Care.
I'm giving 50/50 odds the party won't take place. Can you tell nobody wants to go?