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High school battle

stepfamily222's picture

Submitted by stepfamily222 on Thu, 11/16/2023 - 8:44pm

So SD14 has been given all the amazing options of schools around our area. The ONE single one we said no to (only because of distance, not financial which it happens to be one of the most expensive ones around here, $42k) is about 30 mins away from us. She wants to play high school sports along with travel sports which cost about 7-8k a year. We said no to travel a couple years back but her and her bio mother bullied my DH into giving sweet princess her way. Since then she thinks the sun rises and sets on her behind. Literally we are always running on the road for her. We have the 3 other children SS9, boo daughter 5 and bio son 3. We asked her to chose one sport per season but again she bullied and whined til got her way and does 2 spots in one season plus travel which is tournament in diff states 3x a month. So, this is why we can't do the far highscool because it's 30 minutes there 30 minutes back (on a good day without traffic) and then sports during pre season and sports during the week so pick up from sports prac is late, do the math! DH is never home for the other 3 littles because always running and  slaving over SD14 who bosses him around and is as sweet as pie til she gets her way. DH is so afraid of her threatening to stay at bio mothers more bevwhse bio mother is fighting for that she's even saying she's able to do the drive to the HS and pushing for that one single HS that we said no to portably in hopes that SD14 will say ok I'll just stay at my moms more because she is a me. There is no respect from SD14 and her bio mother it's sad and they bully DH til he gives in and it affects everyone. I refuse to be living on the road running for her 24/7 I have so many things to do for the others and they don't deserve that either when she's been given 10 other amazing school options just as expensive and as good. Thoughts? DH and her bio mother are ina  court battle even after we've shared her 50% of the time since she was 1 but now the mother is trying to find any manipulative angle to take and when SD14 doesn't get her way she will threaten that. DH will give in to so much to avoid that

Comments

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Thu, 11/16/2023 - 9:13pm

For sure, DH needs to go to war to keep at least 50/50 just to keep the kid away from BM as much as possible.

You have 4yrs until the CO expires (unless you are in a 21 state or under a divorce agreement that keeps DH on the hook for longer than the earlier of 18 or HS graduation).

Give DH clarity that you will not schlep his failed family progeny around or in any other way be her beck and call girl.  Part of the clarity needs to be that DH owes  your littles his time, far more than he owes SD-14 time.

 

AgedOut's picture

Submitted by AgedOut on Fri, 11/17/2023 - 6:36am

I'd print a calendar page and assign each kiddo a color and color in the days he's spent following each. My guess is it will be all one color, SDs. 

 

I'd also stop dragging the other kids to her things. If Daddy wants to be her servant, you take the same amounts and enjoy the other kids. 

Lillywy00's picture

Submitted by Lillywy00 on Fri, 11/17/2023 - 7:34pm

I literally cannot comprehend how bio parents let children bully and boss them around. 
 

I mean your DH gotta grow a pair. 
 

And say this magic word = NO (and that's the final answer)

These toxic breeders are conniving af and one way to destroy your new family is by making sure the sun sets and rises on their kids from their failed first family. 
 

Id SD wants those travel sports and that remote location $42k/yr school then bio mom needs to be responsible 

 

Bully your DH to stop now because if he keeps it up and the conniving breeder sues him in court then the courts will make him continue with the same standard he's doing now. And unless your DH has $42k/year per child then they're effectively robbing your kids of resources they need. 

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Sat, 11/18/2023 - 7:49am

What he does for one he must do for all.  Not saying that they all must do sports. But whatever they choose, hope he puts the time and money into, Hope he has the money fo all his children to go to that $42,000 a year school.

Rumplestiltskin's picture

Submitted by Rumplestiltskin on Sat, 11/18/2023 - 8:12am

Yeah, 42k (school) plus 7k (sports) is 49k per kid per year. $196,000 a year on sports and private school if all 4 get the same treatment. Even if the older is out of high school, what are the odds she picks a college and maybe grad school that are *cheaper* than her high school? Decides to pay for her own wedding? Maybe these are Elon's kids? ETA I just read OP's bio. It would take Elon level money for most women to put up with this guy's baggage.