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SD61 is in jail

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Thu, 10/26/2023 - 6:08pm

StepGD called DH86,her mom, SD61 is in jail.  A felony. I'm guessing shoplifting. They discussed how much bail $ is needed.  He's dragging his feet. More as I know more.

Comments

ndc's picture

Submitted by ndc on Thu, 10/26/2023 - 8:39pm

Keep holding the line.  No way should family money go to bail her out or pay for a lawyer.  SD made the choice to commit a felony (probably not her first); she can suffer the consequences. 

Rumplestiltskin's picture

Submitted by Rumplestiltskin on Thu, 10/26/2023 - 6:40pm

That woman has caused you so much grief. Whatever she did must have either been really bad, repeatedly caught, or she must have given them a hard time. I would imagine places would "go easy" on a woman that age if caught. Agree, no family funds! 

Catmom024's picture

Submitted by Catmom024 on Thu, 10/26/2023 - 7:03pm

Wow.  Ugh.  He really should let her rot in jail.   But he won't.   If he uses a bondsman he'll only have  to pay a percentage (10 - 20%), as long as she shows up to court.  If she's found guilty who's paying her fees and restitution?

AlmostGone834's picture

Submitted by AlmostGone834 on Thu, 10/26/2023 - 7:34pm

I'm so sorry. The BS never ends does it? Even when they are adults. You are 100% in the right to refuse to help her. She needs to be held accountable for once in her life! I really hope your husband can see the light. Keep us posted. Again, I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. Just ugh

la_dulce_vida's picture

Submitted by la_dulce_vida on Thu, 10/26/2023 - 8:04pm

They'll hardly incarcerate her for shoplifting unless she's a repeat offender. That's sad because being incarcerated might actually be a blessing.

She clearly can't afford her bail and likely can't afford the restitution. What are the chances she will follow through with any community service, if ordered?

I say the chances of her re-offending are high and a couple years in the pokey might be beneficial, at the very least to keep her off the streets and from manipulating people for money.

This is so sad and I'm sure stressful for you both.

((hugs))

caninelover's picture

Submitted by caninelover on Thu, 10/26/2023 - 9:18pm

I really can't believe what a crap SD you have JRI.  SMH.  Sorry this is happening but please hold the line on joint funds not going for bail.  Your DH has enabled long enough.  SD needs to face the consequences.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Submitted by notsurehowtodeal on Thu, 10/26/2023 - 9:37pm

So sorry! Hold the line. There is no reason for DH to bail her out. She has kids, let them take care of her.

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Thu, 10/26/2023 - 9:44pm

The way DH86 left it with Step-GD was "call me later".  He was non-committal on the phone with her and we haven't heard back, to my surprise.  Formerly, he would have leapt into action.  We had that one convo where he said, "can't we just write a check?", ie, pay it out of family funds, and I said no, I'm already paying $x monthly to subsidize her housing and I'm not paying any more.  I also said it's public defender time, ie, not paying for a lawyer, either.

What I think will happen is that he will eventually pay it out of his $, probably tomorrow after a tearful call from SD.  I'm not answering the phone for awhile, I took the call a couple of years ago when she was in jail (traffic offense, not her fault, of course).  I'm so over it.

It is beneficial that she's having some time in incarceration right now.  He must feel the same.  I also think its beneficial for all 3 of her kids to stew over it, SD61 usually tries to keep her bad news from the 2 younger ones, wants to maintain a good image.  Eventually, they are going to have to cope without DH86.  I feel so sorry for DH, he's 86, has 2 forms of cancer, just wants to zone out.

grannyd's picture

Submitted by grannyd on Thu, 10/26/2023 - 10:42pm

If I were you, JRI, I’d be nearly as furious with your step-grand-daughter’s presumption as I would towards your disgraceful SD; how dare she just take for granted that her 86-year-old grandfather should be duty bound to bail out his granddaughter's thieving, druggie mother!? 

Your husband is an old man, in poor health. He’s been carrying water for his daughter for most of her ill-spent life and any reasonable adult should appreciate that he’s no longer equal to the stress and expense of, literally, bailing out her criminal ass.

No doubt, your DH will not rest easy until his recidivist offspring is sprung, more’s the pity. Hon, please draw the line at wasting family finances on that useless woman. How’s about talking with SD’s siblings and children, explaining that, in view of your DH’s age and precarious state of health, they take care of her bail and never discuss the matter in his presence?

I'm so very sorry, Hon, that this awful woman continues to make your life a misery!

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Fri, 10/27/2023 - 2:27am

Good Lord - shoplifting at her age???? I do hope your DH won't be rewarding her bad behaviour - although as you said, he probably will be.  I like grannyd's suggestion of getting others to sort it and not discuss it in his presence - poor fella deserves a bit of peace in his last years. 

Lillywy00's picture

Submitted by Lillywy00 on Fri, 10/27/2023 - 7:53am

He should have shoplifted some bail money while he was on his crime spree

Leave him there  to be held accountable 

Do not use your or your family's resources 

That's what I would do in that situation 

 

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Fri, 10/27/2023 - 8:54am

No...no... jail is a good place for SD. Three meals and a bed.   We know she is mentally unhinged.  This stuff doesn't bother them.  They actually have a good time in jail. Other unhinged people to hang with.  BEEN THERE DONE THAT ' As the $100 lawer said. If she gets probation she going to miss her appointments and be back in jail in three weeks  

Your DH will not use your money. Or become short of his money because he bailed her out.  And this will only be the beginning of the money train...lawyers...fees...finds...court cost.. hundred in court costs...  The state gets MONEY ....the country gets MONEY ... the local town  gets MONEY... then there's Dr bills   ..  She going to  have to do  type of workshop classes  MONEY  

'Just be the good person   Put $50 on her prison account   Send a care package,  cookeys...  Ramon ..pop top soups 

 

Lillywy00's picture

Submitted by Lillywy00 on Fri, 10/27/2023 - 12:18pm

We know she is mentally unhinged.  This stuff doesn't bother them.  They actually have a good time in jail. Other unhinged people to hang with
 

this

Jail birds love jail especially now that the fall/winter has hit

Many of them will purposely get arrested and toted off to jail because .......For free, they get 3 hots and a cot daily

Well free for them, costly for the taxpayers. Just Let the taxpayers be responsible now. 

Merry's picture

Submitted by Merry on Fri, 10/27/2023 - 9:12am

I like the idea of telling SGD that you DH is too old and ill to handle this kind of thing. Maybe he can contribute some of his allowance if he feels he must DO something, but otherwise this crazy should not be on your doorstep. Time to change the perception that your DH will always be the savior. Give the man some peace.

Hugs to you,JRI. 

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Fri, 10/27/2023 - 11:10am

That truly sucks.

I distinctly recall when Husband got the text from Toxic Troll that SD24 Feral Forger had just gotten caught shoplifting. This was back when my nn for her was Winona. She was caught and apprehended the 2nd time they had seen her on camera. Makeup sponges. Just because she was still 17, and had cash in her wallet and claimed that she had mean to pay for them, they let her off with a 250$ fine (that husband paid for) and a 1 year ban from JC Penny.

Other than that - nothing. And she continues to steal to this day, nearly 5 years later.

Shoot. Thats a sickening feeling I know of.

Shes in Jail, and do not bail her out is my take on it. Free meals and bed.