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It never ends

Catmom024's picture

Submitted by Catmom024 on Sat, 09/23/2023 - 1:42pm

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Adult Stepchildren

So we just found out from my S.O.'s son (mid 30s) that BM told all of the kids that she left their father (my S.O.) because he "beat her all the time".  Broke a phone over her head,  she was locked and hiding in the bathroom because he was going to beat her.  She told the kids that their father beat them as well.  They were young children when she told them this and is probably still doing so.

My S.O. was beyond shocked.   He told his son that never happened, he never hit his mother or them.   His son stood there and argued with him and insisted it did.

The real reason for the divorce was that BM had a boyfriend who liked to drink along with her. 

These were horrendous allegations.  His kids think their mother and her husband are the greatest and are now saying their father didn't do enough for them AND was abusive.   Nothing could be further from the truth.  

 

 

 

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Sat, 09/23/2023 - 4:17pm

I'm sorry for your SO, he must feel so betrayed.

Catmom024's picture

Submitted by Catmom024 on Wed, 09/27/2023 - 11:04am

Hi JRI.  He's just so shocked, as am I.  I feel  like Ive been kicked in the gut because the allegations are just horrific.  Now my S.O. is trying to rationalize what his son (always labeled a victim) said...saying BM's religion frowns on divorce so she had to claim abuse so her family would feel she was justified in leaving and getting a divorce (she didn't attend church). He's saying he did raise his voice at his kids and in their young minds they must have twisted it into physical abuse or remember it wrong because they were scared and he shouldn't have raised his voice.  His son claims to remember some pretty shocking physical abuse as a young child which would have at the least landed him in the hospital and caused an investigation by child protective services.   It's all been planted in his memory by BM. 

So...just more guilt...

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sat, 09/23/2023 - 6:36pm

each a copy of the report.  Then tell them to ask their mother to shit or get off of the pot and take one. 

When she refuses.... daddy can highlight that it is their mother who is the liar, and not their father.

Diablo

Time for daddy to go full frontal bare BM's ass and rub his kid's noses in the stench their BM has loaded them with.  Zero tolerance has to be his model.  The kids are adults.  No more allowing them to drink BM's KoolAid without a full dose of the full frontal force fed facts.

Lather.... rinse.... repeat.

 

Lillywy00's picture

Submitted by Lillywy00 on Sun, 09/24/2023 - 2:44am

If he beat her why isn't/didn't she file reports with the authorities? Her kids aren't law enforcement. 
 

Horrible to drag kids into her mess

Catmom024's picture

Submitted by Catmom024 on Sun, 09/24/2023 - 10:27am

Yeah,  that's what I asked him.  If he beat her and the kids all the time,  why did she leave and leave the kids with him?  Why didn't she contact the police, file restraining orders,  go for full custody?  He said because it never happened. 

lala-land's picture

Submitted by lala-land on Sun, 09/24/2023 - 11:31am

In order to maintain their facade of being a saint, then DH must be a sinner.  They flip the script and often attack anyone that could possibly affect there mother of the year-sainthood position.  It's amazing that these grown step-adults willingly fall these lies.  All you can do is present them with the truth whenever it comes up.  I would certainly let them know that there are no police or CPS reports of abuse or violence and expect them to think about that.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sun, 09/24/2023 - 2:12pm

Are in the same section of the dictionary m.  So is shit.  Two of those words apply. Not the first one.

Catmom024's picture

Submitted by Catmom024 on Sun, 09/24/2023 - 8:29pm

Honestly a lot of this is my S.O.'s fault.   He had guilty daddy syndrome and labeled his kids as victims "of a broken home". So, they have a victim mentality and know they (and BM) can manipulate their father with it.  Still...all these years later. 

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Mon, 09/25/2023 - 3:04pm

They tell the same story over and over again and then start believing it was the truth.

SD24 Feral Forger does that, and Toxic Troll BM does that too. SD17 Powersulk has just done battle with that false-narrative. Cousins are believing it, and her.

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Tue, 09/26/2023 - 10:39am

Toxic Troll BM funny story - she got drunk at a party she was at with her boyfriend/beck and call b!tch at the time. They argued on the way home, she tried to get out of the car, it was moving, she rolled into a ditch, boyfriend drove her back to apartment and put her to bed, can texted husband that he was afraid when she woke up that she would think her bruises were from him beating on her. It did, and she did. He insisted that he never touched her! But her story is the same.

She did the same with husband, accused him of being abusive.

SD24 Feral Forger accused me of being abusive because I yelled at her through her bedroom door (she was being disrespectful andrude), and somehow forgot how she screamed at me and called me names.

Catmom024's picture

Submitted by Catmom024 on Tue, 09/26/2023 - 1:02pm

Lol...Toxic Troll falling from a moving vehicle and rolling into a ditch...now that's funny. 

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Thu, 09/28/2023 - 6:40am

TT's BF was an idiot. He should have left her in the ditch, pulled over, and called 911 so the police would have the facts rather than giving TT free rein to make up shit about the incident to gain some pathetic advantage in her victimhood self delusion.

The only person she is a victim of... is herself.

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Tue, 09/26/2023 - 8:31am

This is the woman DH Married and had kids with.  This is on him for bad judgment..His bad judgement is coming around 

BobbyDazzler's picture

Submitted by BobbyDazzler on Tue, 09/26/2023 - 8:41am

That doesn't give anyone permission to say scandalous things about us. If what the crazy BM is saying is false, this is outright defamation of character. This isn't 'on him'. 

Tigerlily7's picture

Submitted by Tigerlily7 on Tue, 09/26/2023 - 8:52am

If there are documents to support claims or your SO side tell him to show them to the kids or go get a copy of it.. if not then it is NOTHING and the son at 30 years old needs to let it go to begin with. If what he recalls is a good life/childhood with his father then he needs to accept that there are two sides and a truth. Tell him life is not a bed of roses and unfortunately all parents make mistakes. SO can stand firm in his truth but also should be firm if he is innocent and express to his son to mind his business and move forward in life. 

Sounds like the mother is trying to dredge up anything and everything to stir up drama for her own gratification/satisfaction. Do not let it affect you all, the 30 yo son shouldn't even be bringing it up either. 

I am so sorry.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Thu, 09/28/2023 - 6:43am

I am a rub their noses in their self delusional bullshit guy myself.

They cannot and should not be allowed to wallow in the stench of the effluent they are sprayed with by a toxic opposition parent without being made fully aware that it is shit and if they continue to wallow in the crap served up by a manipulative shit parent, they are choosing to be shit themselves.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Catmom024's picture

Submitted by Catmom024 on Thu, 09/28/2023 - 12:22pm

My S.O. wants to just let it go at this point and try forget about it.   They're going to believe what they want to believe.  He'll keep trying to have a relationship with his one son.  His other children are currently punishing him for one ridiculous thing or the other (because he put up boundaries, mainly about giving them $$).  He'll probably at some point try again with them.  Their loyalty will always be to their mother.  

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Thu, 09/28/2023 - 12:48pm

So ask him if he actually enjoys being a ball-less doormat because you find that to be a total turnoff. He can either be a man for you or a pathetic apology for a human who grovels to his ex.

He's not going to earn any more brownie points now, so why does he continue to prostrate himself before the harpie ex? It's his lt, he can either have you or his ex, no compromise possible.

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Tue, 09/26/2023 - 10:47am

Honestly... I don't really get how an adult.. is able to believe someone saying that.. when wasn't he around during his upbringing? I mean.. does he remember his dad beating him?  If not.. does he truly think that an abuser all of a sudden stops that behavior.. so if his dad really was abusive.. why did it not happen as he grew up.. just strange.

Catmom024's picture

Submitted by Catmom024 on Tue, 09/26/2023 - 1:09pm

Yes, strange and shocking.  Apparently BM started the brainwashing when the children were really young...in this kid's case like 6 y.o., and he was  the oldest.  I've been with my S.O. 21 years and he's never as much as raised his voice at me (not a yelling/screaming type of individual,  but discusses things rationally).  Of course he has never even come close to raising a finger towards me (or anyone else).   We've also always had lots of animals and they adore him.

MorningMia's picture

Submitted by MorningMia on Thu, 10/19/2023 - 10:37am

So sorry this is happening. Similar situation here: The ex had an affair w/another married man, threw my DH out, regretted it all, then when he didn't go back to her, she rewrote the whole story, adding "abuse" and the famous word: "abandonment." She and SD even went on a radio show discussing the abandonment. The skids have been all kinds of confused, but ultimately sided with the mom. You are right about their loyalty sticking with the mom/brainwasher and the only thing any of us can do is let it go. Again, so sorry.