It's been 2 weeks since the dreaded engagement party and life has been gloriously peaceful. The future exDIL reached out to DH and asked him to make nice with SS. So DH texted him and reiterated that missing his engagement party wasn't an easy decision. SS responded by saying that he didn't want to talk about it because he didn't want to say something he would regret (that's a first) but did say "I'm very angry at you and your wife". It's always an interesting sign when I lose my name and become "the wife". But whatever. DH didn't respond and there's been no further communication.

Last week, DH had dinner with his uncle. It was the uncle's idea and DH agreed but prefaced his agreement by saying that he was open to discussing his relationship with his uncle, but not his relationships with his children. DH said the dinner was difficult and emotional, but he was very proud of himself for standimg up for himself (and me) and for laying down his boundaries, which were (1) my relationship with my kids aren't anyone else's business and he doesn't want to hear anyone's opinions and (2) he won't tolerate disrespect of his wife. He said he made he clear that he's grieving his relationships with his children and the rest of his family but no longer chasing after anyone's approval (including his lods). The uncle agreed to relay the message to the rest of the clan. 

This afternoon, DH has his second individual therapy session.  During the first session, the therapist really drilled down that both sides of any relationship share equal responsibility for maintaining that relationship and that it isn't his job to "fix" the situation with his kids. 
 

So all in all, things are good. I know there will be more twists and turns but I'm cautiously optimistic.