BM is looking hard for a way to "fix"what she did to sd
Sd has been coddled, catered to, and overly endulged her entire life. BM OVERLY spoiled her and lied to cover all her wrong doings. Well, now sd is approximately 350lbs (not fat shaming her, her weight is prevalent in all of this), BM blames sd's PCOS (has been tested OVER and OVER again, always turning up negative). Then BM blames sd's thyroid (been tested OVER and OVER again, always comes black normal). But what does keep coming back positive is high cholesterol and borderline diabetes, likely due to all her over endulgence.
Well now that BM can't blame anything medical (meaning anything that takes the blame off of her) she's trying to take her to a psychiatrist to get her treated for "test anxiety" (now maybe she does have test anxiety, but she's never talked about it before). But she's wanting the psychiatrist to prescribe her Adderall, the same medicine her autistic brother is on, that caused him to be under weight...
I wouldn't think that Adderall would be prescribed for test anxiety. My daughter was on it due to her adhd, but it messed up her seratonin levels and caused her to have major anxiety issues...
I want to finish this by saying sd is 19, an adult, and i couldn't actually care less what BM does with sd, i just find it all UTTERLY hilarious.
Much like
Feral Forger SD24 and Powersulk SD17, with Toxic Troll looking for diseases they could/might/should have. What is the end game in all this?
Its narcissistic supply of energy.
Me and DH have decided
Me and DH have decided together that we just won't comment on any of it, i personally can't possibly care any less about sd and all her new BM diagnosies (i call them BM diagnosies because BM keeps feeding into that she has this or she has that, but all the testing process she has nothing).
I have been thinking for YEARS that sd needs to see a psychiatrist, i seriously think she has npd or bpd or that she was just a sociopath. And BM SUPPOSEDLY had her in a waiting list four a psychologist because DH kept telling BM that she needs to see someone because of her obvious eating disorder (she'd down an entire cake, or an entire box of fundraiser chocolates, then steal money from her mom's purse, then when BM wised up to it, sd them stole money from her little brother's piggy bank to pay for the next ENTIRE box of chocolates that she ate). Everyone knew that this waitlist was just BS
Disengage
The EX is doing what she wants. And no one can tell her different. Don't you THINK the Doctors are telling her SD needs to lose weight ?.??. That is goinh in one ear. Out the other. Something is medical wrong. We need the wonder drug.
Stay out Just make sure SD doesn't live with you.
Oh don't worry,i do stay out
Oh don't worry,i do stay out of it completely. I have been disengaged for a few years, i do get sucked back in every do often, when my (adult) kids find themselves entangled in sd's web of deceit, manipulations, and lies. I just re-disengage, but sd does like talking about all her "illnesses" with ANYONE who listens... and anytime sd does come visit DH is so happy to see her that he'll hang on her every word. And with repeatedly talking about her illnesses, I do end up hearing about it eventually, whether I'm disengaged or not. But like you said, nobody can make sd or BM do anything different, and I'm not looking to.
Do i think that BM has been told sd needs to lose weight by doctors? Yes i do. But do i think BM gives drs excuses? Yes i do. I'm sure BM tells them that she only cooks healthy. Im sure BM tells them that sd is active and doesn't sit around on her butt all day. I'm sure that she tells the drs that they don't eat out very often. But I'm sure these are all lies... do i care? Not really... i used to, sure... but with all the insanity that has gone on in my home due to sd and BM... they can do whatever they want, as long as they aren't harming me or my family. Sd can end up a sociopathic deranged murderer, end up in prison, as long as it's not harming me or my family, i don't care. Sd could end up in tv as the 10000lb sister, that's her business, i don't care.
But if i find things funny, or amusing, or wild... I'll post about it, not because I'm upset, not because I'm looking for advice.... but because i think it's amusing. Negate me saying "i told you so" feels good. I KNEW nothing medically was wrong with sd... everytime she comes over and says, "well the dr said my thyroid levels were normal still" gives me joy in my soul, because i don't want to engage and at "i told you so" or "i knew it" to her, I'll post about it here.
Sadly, many obese young people are victims of idiot parents.
My IL clan has this problem. Excessively overweight young children. 200Lb+ 10yos, etc. Interestingly, DW, BIL1, BIL2, and SIL were not heavy as children. Yet, BIL1's youngest is huge, and SIL's 2 are/were mammoth.
The only one who has never been obese is my DW's eldest niece (BIL1's eldest) who has colitis and generally can't gain much weight.
Her little sister is mammoth.
SIL's two children are or were massive. The issue is no mystery. When our nephew was 5yo, an average meal for him was 6 cups of pasta. When that was done, SIL would give him seconds of nearly the same size. I was in my 40's and I could not fit even the first serving in my stomach.
Our nephew is now in HS and is pretty sharp. He figured it out on his own and has trimmed down significantly. Though he is a huge young man 6'5"+. His weight probably has not dropped, he has just grown into it adding a ton of muscle in lieu of fluff. His sister, is well over 200Lbs and is 11yo. It is sad.
My SS-31 was slender until Middle School when he got a bit fluffy. Which was during DW's and my own Fluffy adult phase. He trimmed way down during his last 2yrs of HS and has stayed extremely trim and fit since.
BIL2's 6yo is extremely trim. His new baby is only a few months old. The jury is out on whether or not his 2 will go the way of BIL1's and SIL's children.
IMHO, a call to CPS should happen when kids are morbidly large.
It may be the only way to help them if their parents are the problem.
IMHO
I understand the challenge. I struggle with weight myself. I was extremely slender and fit until about 10yrs after I was Dx'd as a T-1 diabetic at 16. For me it is all about carbs. Carbs = Fat. Period. Dot. Physiology is not as complex as it may appear. The only thing that can convert to body fat is blood glucose. Carbs convert to blood glucose which can then be turned into body fat. Proteins breakdown less efficiently in the human digestive track and do not convert to blood glucose significantly. Dietary fat does not convert to blood glucose. The simple answer is.... eat quality proteins, leafy green veg, and healthy fats. Keep carbs to a minimum. Which can be extremely hard to do. For me, Carbs are addictive so I cannot eat them. They result in high endorphine levels which is comforting.
It took many many years for my DW to join the low carb life style. We do not keep any sugar in our home, no bread, wheat pasta, etc.... My diabetes managment is impeccable because we are a team in this. About 6yrs ago DW accompanied me to a comprehensive physical. My PCP at that time is married to a long term T-1 diabetic and had recently gon low/no carb. She lost 20lbs in 2wks. At that time I weighed 308Lbs. My heaviest by far. DW asked my PCP if it would be beneficial for her to join me doing low carb. Doc said absolutely. So, we left my physical, walked into a medically supervised weight loss clinic, and proceeded to melt.
We did great for a year of more. DW lost 100Lbs, I lost nearly 80. Then life happened, we stopped the program, and she put on about 50 and I put on 30+. Until June of 22 when we went back on the program. I am down 40+ and DW is down 30+. We know we cannot ever not be on the program. We feel better, we are far more active, my labs are phenominally good.
Kids need parents to manage this for them.
IMHO.
If cps was called, they'd see
If cps was called, they'd see that BM was actively taking her to the dr to get evaluated for so these things, BM would tell them that they regularly exercise, she'd tell them they go for walks, they do at home exercise... SD and BM are both liars, and don't care about who they're lying to. Calling cps wouldn't change a thing
DH should take SD for a cardio stress test.
That will uncover the lies and bullshit. When SD collapses out of breath on the treadmill while wired to the heart monitor BM will not be able to sling her lies.
Then... call CPS and DH can give them the stress test results.
DH never had medical rights
DH never had medical rights to sd, he can't take her to cardiologists without BM's consent. The most he could do would be take her to check ups (where no decisions have to be made).
Aside from all that, I've disengagedfrom caring about what happens to sd, what new ailments she's being tested for, what crazy idea her and BM are concocting... not my business, so i don't care. It doesn't effect me, so i don't care... i only care when it effects my home... and DH learned long ago, if he doesn't have the rights to make decisions regarding it, he can't care either.... otherwise he'll go insane. He may make suggestions to bm, and give his opinion, but after that, he isn't going to worry about it. Because sd and BM will not listen to anything he says, so why waste his breath.