So - DH's dad died yesterday morning.  It is a very long story, but I will try to shorthand it here.

13 years ago, DH's dad, I will call him RJ, had throat cancer.  Went through radiation, no chemo.  Radiation destroyed all the muscles in his neck.  He never had the PT/OT necessary to recover the strength in his neck muscles.  He just didn't want to do it, thinking that all it would do is prevent him from developing a widower's hump.  He was informed back then that it would do so much more than that, but he just couldn't be bothered with it, so he didn't do it. 

As you might imagine, the radiation also destroyed his saliva glands, so eating has always involved copious amounts of water and he always had trouble swallowing. He also lost his sense of taste thanks to the radiation, so the man who loved to cook, bake and eat had no desire to eat and began to lose weight.  Not a ton, but enough to notice, for sure.

Back in April, he went to the urgent care because he thought he had a bad chest cold.  Nope - covid and pneumonia.  To make a very long story short, we found out that he was aspirating about 80% of everything that went down his throat - something that would have been avoided if he had only done the PT all those years ago.  He declined quickly, ended up with a feeding tube and a trach, and he went into hospice care at a facility at the end of July.  

RJ was an engineer, so he planned out his funeral during the time he was in hospice.  Every detail - and he even picked a date that wouldn't interfere with previously set plans for some of the folks who would come.  The funeral will be on August 26.  Not looking forward to having to see ASS, but it is what it is. 

Of course, I will report back :-)