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Impute THIS. (VENT)

stepju6's picture

**UPDATE  post court: DCSS asked for a continuance. Do you think BM will use this time to get a j-o-b?  Will pigs fly out of my butt? **

Court with CA DCSS tomorrow to calculate guideline support and our lawyer has advised that BM's unemployment will likely not be imputed as income as she recieves welfare (she is cheating the system). We have 50/50 joint pysical and are looking at our CS increasing by $1200.00 because the golden uterus feels like she shouldn't need to work. All children are teenagers and there is literally no reason for this human to not have a job. Her income & expense lists $2800.00/mo recieved as "paid by others". Who are the others?! Am I taking crazy pills? Why does the system reward people for being crappy? 

 

Comments

justmakingthebest's picture

Welcome to my world. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this too.

For us, BM works as a nurse but claims she only volunteers so she got input at minimum wage. It's all horseshit. 

stepju6's picture

Do we have the same BM? Ours has basically the same story. She's a single mom/full time nurse when she's talking herself up to her kid's friend's parents and an unemployed CNA when she shows up at court. 

Rumplestiltskin's picture

Yep. BM2 here works for cash doing eyelashes and also apparently owns 10 rental properties, however they are in her relatives' names and/or she is hiding the income. She drives only luxury cars, goes on fancy vacations, and has purses that cost as much as 5 months of my mortgage. But she's probably getting a raise, too, though she keeps the kids less than half the time and doesn't pay for anything. This system rewards liars and cheats. 

grannyd's picture

Dear Ladies,

Ah, those many years that my DH paid top dollar in CS while his bone lazy, round-heeled ex-wife worked part-time to better enable her bar/bed hopping! When the children arrived for their week in mid-winter with holes in their ill-fitting boots while  BM sported stylish new footwear, my poor husband would nearly tremble with fury. 

I learned to push the rage from my mind, along with BM’s penchant for shrieking her demands down the phone in a timbre loud enough to get the neighbourhood dogs howling. The very instant that CS ended, The Screamer (our nickname for the bitch) increased her hours to full time. Truly, these women share a book of rules on how to exploit and torment their ex-husbands (and their new wives/partners). All we can do is take deep breaths and uncork the wine. Unknw

 

justmakingthebest's picture

That has been a hard and long lesson for me. I can't control or fix this situation. All I can do is my best and live my life right. God will sort it out in the end. 

stepju6's picture

I'm having such a hard time swallowing this pill. How did you maintain your relationship with DH during that time? The resentment runs so deep for me already and we haven't even made the first new payment yet. 

thinkthrice's picture

It is hard baked into the system by mandating CS until age 21 with, in all reality, zero exceptions.

We all know if it was the other way around, they would be imputing Biodad's income like no tomorrow.

stepju6's picture

CS until age TWENTY ONE?!?! Oh, man. I guess things COULD be worse.. I am planning on taking a solo cruise for my last SK's 18th birthday. 

Lillywy00's picture

I plan on ditching them all....before they hit 18

Aint no way I can stomach so much money frivolously going out like that

thinkthrice's picture

Until the last of the 3 turns 21.  He has been paying CS since 2004 (they separated when the last one was merely a toddler).

But who's counting?   I have the final countdown on my workstation.   Seems like the "six months" has been on six months FOREVER.  Although we are very busy, I swear the countdown has gone BACKWARDS!

Rags's picture

Clapping

Dance 4

Yahoo

Deep breaths. Though the never ending daily countdown is torturouse, it will go quickly.  We are nearly 13 years post CO.  It has gone quickly, though the 16+ years we lived under the CO, went by in a blink.  I was taken aback the day after the kid turned 18 and the constant battles with the SpermClan just ended.  Though they did try to stay relevant occassionally over the next few years, they really were irrelvant to DW, me, and even SS.

As time has passed, they have become even less relevant. Though SS periodically expresses frustration and sadness that his three younger Spermidiot spawned half sibs by two other baby mamas are struggling with being on the dole, in prison, and experiencing repeated arrests between them.

SS-30 (31 in 9wks) is kicking ass in his adult life and is a man that his mom and I are very proud of and proud to have raised.

Our reward the day after SS aged out from under the CO was not financial as DW was the CP.  Our reward was that once she was no longer paying her idiot son's CS obligation for my SS, SpermGrandHag fell off of the planet rather than being a consistent nagging, banshee shreeking, harpy, sucubus thorn in our sides.  Once she stopped paying, she stopped caring.. and has nad little to no interface with her eldest GK.  Apparently she still is highly controlling of SS's younger sister and two younger brothers.  She and her idiot son are the ones that raised those three kids to be entitlement minions on the dole, in prison, or on the way to prison.

I do feel for those three kids, and for my son.  He cares about them all but doesn't risk ruining his own life by having much if anything to do with them.

 

thinkthrice's picture

Yes and the most aggrevating thing about it is that I will be 63 yrs old when it finally ends.   I was 42 when I started this journey.  MUCH too long!

Rags's picture

SS-30 turned 18 when I was 46. As the CSP, I also did not have to deal with the burden of paying CS.  He has been fully self sufficient since he launched at 18.  His mom and I are proud of the man he is, that we raised together.

Take care of yourself.  You have some good times to look forward to. Throw a party after the SKid ages out from the CO and book a killer vacation just for you and your SO.

Mominit's picture

In Ontario (Canada) the judges seem to share a dim view of those who are underemployed.  If you can volunteer, you can work.  If you have a degree you SHOULD work.  Unless you can prove physical disability, or the need to be a caregive, you're going to get income imputed.  Even women who get spousal support are starting to be told that (unless you gave up your career to raise children and support his career), you're expected to become self-sufficient in a reasonable amount of time.

At least we seem to be getting that right on average.

CLove's picture

Gets child support at 347, and it hasnt been reviewed since we got married (she filed for CS about 2weeks after our wedding), and she somehow gets section 8 housing assistance - she has a 2 bedroom apartment in an expensive area beach town, and who knows what else she gets.

Shes forbidden SD17 powersulk from getting a job so she can keep her low income housing. I wonder what will happen - Im holding my breath for maybe a disabled diagnosis so she can keep that apartment.

BM TT managed to get over 21k for a "head injury" from work, so I know she has it in her to somehow get along in her own way...

Lillywy00's picture

No you need better lawyers. 

What is this womans education and work history? I'm sorry but unless she is fully disabled then she should be out working. 

Her income is allegedly $2800 paid by 'others' 

Ma'am with all do respects......shes probably a lady of the night (if ya know what I mean) getting paid in cash and filing not one tax return

stepju6's picture

She has a GED and a CNA certificate that she supposedly hasn't used since 2017.. Says her last job was a cashier at The UPS store, but was laid off in December right before Christmas. 7 months later she just can't seem to find any other jobs, even though she has no disabilities, is able bodied and has reliable transportation. She qualified for a free legal assistance, is on food stamps, section 8 and cash assistance--none of which can be imputed as income. She says she's borrowing money every month from her extended family to make the bills. 

DH lawyer is screaming, but California courts love a charity case and the plight of a single mom with a pretty face. 

Lillywy00's picture

OMG! A complete mess! I'm really suprised no lawyer or judge has called her out on her bs and hit her where it hurts....her allegedly non-existent wallet.

My psychopathic deadbeat bd was able to juice the legal system and get free legal aid despite making millions. They don't check income they just take your word and let the taxpayer pay for these wastes of human flesh. 

Yeah I'd report her for welfare fraud, etc. and the move to a conservative state that will enforce on that lazy waste of space. 

If all else fails hell me personally, I'd actually pay her to take 100% custody since she has no job and refuses to work then she can take care of those kids FULL time. 

Rags's picture

We could have changed venue to Texas after SS was resident there for 6mos. Though we never did. It was too good an axe to hold over the SpermClan's necks. It would have increased CS by nearly ~1000%. But it also would have more than doubled visitation time. No amount of money was worth exposing SS to that shit filled shallow and polluted gene pool any longer than absolutely necessary.

Our TX lawyer would send them periodic reminders that if they did not knock their shit off we would change venue and they would be on the hook for $1200/mo instead of $133/mo. That would get them in line in a hurry. After a couple letters on our Lawyers letter head, all we had to do was remind SpermGrandHag that we could invoke change of venue any time we chose.  That would end her harpy shreeking and put her into poor Gramma mode but it would shut her up.  We had a few effective tactics for keeping her in line.  The threat of explosive increase in CS, and .... counter motions to have her and SpermGrandPa's income included in CS calculation when she would request my income to be considered to reduce the CS award.  When the judge announced that our motion would be considered and their motion to consider my income was not allowed due to SpermClan State regulations.... SpermGrandHag about lost her damned mind.

Diablo

Though the Judge did ultimately deny our motion to include the SpermGP's income. It was fun to see the Hag lose her shit.

So, we maintained the jurisdiction of SpermLand courts, while swinging the threat of doom of a ~1000% CS increase stick when neccessary.

IMHO, any legally acceptable tactic available has to be used to protect kids from toxicity in blended family situations.

thinkthrice's picture

Interesting:  "Section 8-- can't be imputed as INCOME"

Funny-- some of the latest housing laws ARE calling Section 8 and housing subsidies "income" and that housing providers can't discriminate against that "source of income."

Sounds like yet another double standard. 

thinkthrice's picture

You are again forgetting the double standard.  Courts don't hold BMs accountable and almost always (except for leap years when Haley's Comet shows during a Blue Moon) are given a pass when calculating their (visible) income.

justmakingthebest's picture

The judge LITERALLY told us that he didn't believe HER facebook posts that she got a job or the pictures on her employers website of her WORKING- she says she volunteers. Duh, that means no income for her! 

Rags's picture

Bad

Time for a private investigator and a civil suit to recover damages for the cost to you and DH of her fraud.  Maybe engaging a different Judge with a civil suit to counter the Family Law moron would work?

As a legal layman, I have no idea. But... it may be worth a call to an attorney.

If only just to scare the living shit out of her.

Diablo