Depressed dating a single dad
Hi there, everyone,
This is my first time posting anything so I hope I'm doing this right. I've been so grateful to find this site after dating a single dad with three girls under eight for a year. It's helped me to realize I'm not completely crazy with how I feel all the time.
I am trying to disengage emotionally when he has the kids over. Sometimes I feel pretty successful with it, and other times I really let his situation and how he handles his kids get to me too much.
Overall, they're actually pretty good kids. They're generally polite and well-behaved. And my BF has been a wonderful man and we have what I feel is one of the few genuinely healthy relationships I've ever had.
But I am extremely depressed in this situation. I can't stop thinking about all the future what-if scenarios about what it would mean to deal with these step-kids the rest of my life. I want my own family, and BF and I have talked about that, and he said he's open to having more children in the future if we continue to build a life together.
So that's been nice to know. But I don't really agree with how he parents his current children. This is just a personal opinion, but I don't agree with unlimited use of electronics for kids, like tablets, phones, etc. He doesn't either, supposedly, but he allows the 8-year-old and 5-year-old to fall asleep with theirs every night. I don't understand why it seems so hard for him to simply limit their time on them. Like I said, they're generally not bad kids and I rarely see actual meltdowns or tantrums from them.
I bring up the electronics as an example because I keep thinking how would I handle that in my house with my own kids. If he wants his to have them, fine, but I don't want mine to, so how am I supposed to control my potential future kids staying away from them until an older, more appropriate age, when his would still be coming over?
I know this is a non-existent problem right now, as I do not have children with BF yet, but I keep thinking up more problems as the skids get older. Their bio-mom got pregnant with another man's child less than a year after breaking up with BF. She lied about being on birth control and tricked BF in to the last two of his own kids. She's just a mess and I am resentful of my BF for having been so stupid to have married her and not seen all these red flags.
I'm worried the skids are going to go down the same path as their mom, and I don't have the control in their lives to stop it. I don't want any of my future family around that trash.
I'm depressed and annoyed that I feel like I finally met a good man, and he comes with all this baby mama drama. I keep thinking I should just walk away, and have mostly resigned myself to him and I will eventually have to break up. I just don't know if I have what it takes to be a stepmom. It's been awful so far. You get all the shit from everyone, because you're not a "real" mom or caretaker, and none of the rewards or respect. From anyone.
ooof.. 3 under 8.. I have
ooof.. 3 under 8.. I have sympathy for you there!
You have a few good things.. but a few potential red flags to deal with here.
First.. are you fully aware of the current custody order stipulations including all the financial rammifications.. ie do you know the extent to which he will need to send resources outside your home for the next 10 plus years.. and are you prepared to accept that you and your kids(when you have them)..will generally be asked to make due with what you earn and what's left of his.
2nd.. when it comes to his custody.. are they doing 50/50.. or is he primary.. or is mom? it can be more difficult for some men to truly have the boundaries with their kids when they are the non-primary parent.. they don't want to spend the little time they have with their kids with conflicts. and how do you see your household potentially running with 4 or 5 kids at the same time.. that's a big house.. and a lot of chaos.
3.. this is a gentle reminder that there are a lot of people who think they will set certain limits with their kids.. but the reality is.. that sometimes you just let the kid watch the video.. my YSD swore she would never allow her kids to eat junk.. (now that is out the door..lol). So.. while it's a bit concerning you don't seem to have the same thoughts on boundaries.. and it's a bit worrying that he may be parenting from guilt...in reality.. what you think you will do now.. may not be what you are able to do with the kids when they arrive.
My assumption is you are fairly young.. and steplife is incredibly difficult. There can be rewards.. but a lot of heart aches too.. and many of us would not do it again.. had we known.. we would have gotten out before we "fell in love".. with men that are lovely people.. but are also flawed.
I would also point out that many of the things that make us like them.. they do what we want.. they cater to us.. are the same tendencies they do with their kids and it is sometimes both great and frustrating.
So.. I would be very cautious.. and most people will say to run.. but the reality is that only you know how controlling and jealous you are as a person (we all are in varying degrees).. how much you will roll with the flow.. how much will drive you nuts.. that you won't be able to let go of.. how good he is at shieldingyou from the BS.. how much he does or does not back you up and how you both resolve conflict together.
Thank you for your input! You
Thank you for your input! You brought up some points I haven't really thought about it and need to work through a little more with myself.
As far as I understand with my BF's situation, they're splitting custody but staying out of the courts. I think she would be considered primary caregiver, however, because she makes more money and has the house. I am going to try to remember what you said about how he might be thinking he doesn't want to spend his limited time with them in arguments. I can understand that.
And I know you're right that there's a lot of ideas I'm sure we have pre-parenthood that don't stay with us once they're here. I try to remember that as well, and I am trying to decide if I really can just roll with all of this or if I should get out while I can.
I appreciate you giving me your feedback on this.
Ok.. RED FLAG alert..
Ok.. RED FLAG alert.. "staying out of court"... .do not fall for this.. it is a huge trap and will actually result in more drama, expense and conflict going forward. He will continue to open his wallet for every "reasonable" request.. he will be blackmailed to pay to have access to his kids.. and his EX will have every opportunity to make unreasonable demands.. place rules on how your household may operate.. whether he gets vacations with his kids.. whether you can even care for them.. drive them.. etc..
Whether they go through an expensive LEGAL BATTLE or not.. they need to have their custody order made officially legal and binding on them both. It should outline custody.. and any primary or joint decision making.. custody and permissions.
Like.. do the parties have to get permission to move? to move X distance? Do the parties have to offer the other parent time with the children if they are not able to personally watch them (like if your BF goes out of town for a day during a week custody.. do the kids go back to mom?) Can the kids be taken out of state/country for vacations without the other parent's permission? Who has final and binding decision making for medical and schooling issues.. like can BM decide to enroll them an expensive private school and make your BF pay for it? Who decides whether they go get braces on teeth when it may or may not be necessary.. or get the 1000 dollar glasses vs ones covered under a vision plan? And what about extra curricular activities? who decides those and who pays for them? EC can severely limit a NCP's ability to exercise visitation.. and can be quite costly.. And what obligations for that vehicle when they get to be driving age? who pays insurance for the car? who pays for phone plans when they are older? What about college/university? is dad obligated to pay for it??
And even the basic.. how much will he pay her for base Child Support if she is the primary custodial parent? how is that in line with the legal guidelines? and when and how can it be adjusted if circumstances change?
This isn't a full list of things that can and do go wrong when no CO is in place.. but there are so many people who get years down the road and their lives are completely in chaos.. and at that point.. the animosity is so great that it requires a horrible legal expense.. better to get it sorted now.. while they "think" they can do it reasonably and amicably.
I've been worried about a lot
I've been worried about a lot of this. I think maybe I'm using the wrong terms with "staying out of courts," but please correct me if this is the situation. I know he has a lawyer (not sure about her, but would assume so), and something that really stood out to me was the lawyer's concern about the schedule with the kids and BF's rights.
Their schedule is really erratic to me. I think the lawyer said the same thing, because he told BF he was having a hard time stamping down the terms in writing, because of how inconsistent the days were. I was able to read what the lawyer came up with and it was pretty generalized, but I don't blame the lawyer for that.
I told BF that I think he'll get screwed one way or another down the road, and I think the lawyer pretty much said the same thing in more professional language, when I heard them talking about the situation. My understanding at this time is bio-mom is paying BF child support, but this is not mandated in the contract, just between them. His lawyer actually had calculated what she should owe based on her income, and it was three times what she is paying him "under the table."
This has been really helpful. I need to research a lot of this and think more about the stipulations between them, because I know he definitely hasn't.
and.. it has happened to
and.. it has happened to people with no co.. that any money he has given and gives her ends up being categorized as a gift and he ends up with a huge back child support obligation. do not let her reasonable demeanor now.. lull anyone into thinking that will go on forever.
I've literally said almost
I've literally said almost the exact same thing to him lol. But without all this knowledge about how bad it could get. I was frustrated he wasn't listening to his lawyer more because this guy is hired to think about these worst-case scenarios and protect his clients, and BF isn't really heeding it.
Honestly.. if he is paying a
Honestly.. if he is paying a lawyer.. he needs to listen to him. Right now is the time to make sure that it is all locked down.. and in the end.. the legal agreement and process needs to be less about him worried about being "liked".. and more necessary for him to be taking his CHILDREN's best interest to heart.
If his lawyer is saying that the calculated amount of CS from his EX is X amount.. that is what should be in the agreement.. with reasonable and definable offsets.. like if she is providing daycare.. or paying for health insurance.. it's ok to generally take some of that into account.
The child support is supposed to be there for the child.. if he feels he is getting "too much".. he can always put the money away for his children's college education or starting off expenses when they become adults. The reality is that your BF or his wife could experience financial hardships and maybe that money would come in handy to cover children's expenses then.
Again.. he is trying to be "nice".. but he isn't being mean by having her pay the legal amount.. that is what is in the children's best interest..
Because.. how resentful will YOU become when your money ends up subsidizing his kid's because he won't ask their own mother to pay the legit amount?
That's what I've tried to
That's what I've tried to tell him. This divorce attorney is being hired to help him and BF hasn't even kept him sufficiently informed, in my opinon. When we first started dating, bio-mom took the kids out of state briefly on an overnight trip and didn't tell BF. I told him he should tell the lawyer this since I thought that wasn't allowed in divorce proceedings, but I could be wrong. Either way, I thought it was something the lawyer should be made aware of.
He said the child support was a "pride" issue thing but I'm very frustrated with that, because as you said, it's money for the children and if he thinks he's being overpaid or whatever, it can always go in to a savings fund for them.
Pride is kind of a silly
Pride is kind of a silly thing isn't it when two people created those kids.. so two people should support them!
Because with 3 kids.. he has to think that at some point.. if you two do have kids.. can he support 5 then? or will you be asked to live to a lower level so that he can pay his kid's costs?
and apparently his pride has a price? so he will take "some" but not the actual right amount?
and.. yes.. he should keep his lawyer informed.. and if they are still finalizing things.. perhaps that stipulation needs updating? if no one plans on abiding by it?
ESMOD outlined it well
I would also read the custody agreement, fully understand it and judge whether both parties are abiding by it and if not, in which particulars and why not.
I think these "should I or not" issues boil down to your relationship with your BF. I, like many others, went thru hell with my 3 SKs but at 78, I'm glad I stuck it out with DH85, he's still my fave person. But I had 2 bios here so that made me more tolerant of the situation.
I also echo ESMOD's observation of how our pre-child ideas get changed by the messy, chaotic reality of little kids when we have those "whatever works" days.
Good luck!
It's encouraging to hear you
It's encouraging to hear you're still with the same person for that long, I think that's an accomplishment in any situation in this age.
I think I started having these doubts halfway through my relationship with him because we started arguing more. A lot of it was stupid stuff (most of it still is), but I started noticing it was almost always about the kids or when he had the kids. And that worries me for a lot of different reasons.
I appreciate knowing someone's situation worked out, thank you!
There is nothing wrong with
There is nothing wrong with you for feeling the way you do. Words like "controlling", "jealous", and "selfish" get used to describe stepmoms a lot. If wanting to be treated like an adult with as much information and decision-making power as your spouse is what you want, it makes you normal. If not being ok with things like your husband/boyfriend having lengthy chats multiple times per day with his ex or not wanting to hang out with his ex unless it's absolutely necessary makes a person jealous, well. I would say most people are jealous people. And wanting to be treated like a life partner, not a second-class citizen of your home who has responsibility but not authority is normal, not selfish.
Only you can decide if the dynamics in play with your boyfriend, his kids, and his ex are acceptable to you. Yes, marrying someone with kids means the kids will be in your home for some amount of time on a regular basis until they are about 18-21. But, it doesn't have to mean that this time is dictated by the whims and convenience of the ex. There should be a legal custody schedule, and if you are married or living together, you should have a say as to if and when the kids are in your home outside of that schedule. Yes, it means there will always be an ex in the picture, but not all men are at her beck and call and not all men call/text/hang out with their exes when it isn't necessary. They don't all give money to their exes secretly or above and beyond what's ordered by law.
And yes, kids can be a lot, but not all kids run the household. Not all kids are disrespectful, throw tantrums past about kindergarten age, try to create drama between their dad and SM, or do a lot of things that some do. It all depends on the people involved and their values and dynamics. It depends on what their parents allow.
I'm not saying definitely run, but if you are child-free, you are giving up and putting up with a lot to be with this man. Unless you can truly say he is doing everything within his power to make this situation tolerable for a new woman in his life, you should probably run. And that's ok. It doesn't make you any less of a good person.
I dont' think it's
I dont' think it's necessarily controlling and jealous to want to have an idea of what is going on in your home.. and to hope your spouse isn't having extensive chats with his EX that stray away from the central issue of their joint children.
BUT.. I have seen multiple times.. women come on here, pregnant with their first child, and absolutely despondent and angry that "this is not his first experience with a baby".. that other family members aren't "excited enough".. etc.. Or the SM who is angry that a dad cuddles with his little toddler.. or that the kids like to follow their dad around.. etc.. and I'm talking about totally age appropriate ways.. not miniwife.. people get jealous.. little kids will because it's "their daddy" and the SM is the new one.. and it takes some patience to get over that hump.. I experienced it with my SDs when they were young. .the trying to sit between us etc.. it's not personal.. it's a little kid being insecure.. not necessarily miniwife.. but it has to be dealt with reasonably.. and without "malice".
Then there is the matter of control.. sometimes with kids.. things happen out of your control.. the other household impacts yours in ways that you can't control.. kids are individuals.. they may not always behave according to plan...sometimes the bio parent will need to do kid stuff...even if it isn't on their custody time.. and there certainly are SM's that are not able to handle the fact that there may be things in steplife that are not in our control.. and it makes them.. and everyone around them miserable.
so.. most people have some amount of self awareness.. if you are someone that can't think about and accept that your partner had a life before you... especially with living evidence in front of you.. steplife may not be for you.. if you are someone that is very set in their ways.. and needs to have a keen understanding of the order of your home and schedule.. steplife may be difficult... I see both of these issues reflected here with some people in the extreme.. and I see some validly normal responses to extreme situations by people that are not otherwise extremely controlling or jealous. But bottom line is that a lot of steplife may not be in our ability to make a change.. can we live with the fallout or not?
I agree that some things are
I agree that some things are out of everyone's control. To me, as long as my partner is doing everything that HE can control to make the situation bearable, there's something to work with. Some guys are all about their convenience, so they will avoid doing any of the hard work involved in making their kids more likeable and more likely to succeed in the future. Some guys are flattered by attention so they will either knowingly or unknowingly pit those they love against each other.
Some things can't be helped, such as not being able to experience being a first-time parent with your spouse. I can't speak on that, because i am also divorced with kids. But - i will say that a dad who makes his wife feel alone during her pregnancy and child-rearing would probably do that whether it's his first or his tenth. So, maybe these SMs who are upset about not getting support from their DHs during their pregnancies and births are blaming the wrong people. They probably shouldn't blame the kids or ex, but i don't think they should always blame themselves or feel like they are too jealous or controlling, either. Maybe their jerk of a husband is just not a very supportive guy? Maybe that's part of why he's on his second or third BM?
Very true.. and we all have
Very true.. and we all have to be honest with ourselves about our temperament.. and also be mindful if they are on marriage (or LT relationship).. 2, 3 or more.. maybe THEY are actually the problem.. lol.
Please don't stay
The thing that sticks out to me is the 'she lied about being on birth control' for 2 kids?! Nope. OK one child maybe, not 2, 2 is no mistake , he didn't want to wear a condom or take responsibility in the same vein he doesn't want to parent his kids , he'd rather let them sit in front of tech all day and night.
Now, I'm trying not to be a hypocrite here, my husband is the most lame arse Disney dad pipe and slippers parent they come. He's useless. However, I only have to deal with ONE step kid. You're talking THREE here, all the fallout of 3 kids with failed parenting!!! I'd honestly jump this sinking ship before it consumes you
Right it's a easy to paint
Right it's a easy to paint himself as the victim rather than take responsibility.
Agreed. BM manipulated DH
Agreed. BM manipulated DH into kids but he's just to blame for agreeing. Ops SO has to take on the responsibility of being a dad forever for them and that includes not being a lazy parent.
Yeah, that's one of the major
Yeah, that's one of the major red flags with BF that I'm having trouble understanding. Like you said, the first is kind of tolerable. My understanding it was pretty mutual on both sides, if irresponsible when neither had the money or means to support a baby at that time.
I've had the story with bio-mom lying about birth control verified by different friends who knew her. Without going in to graphic details, I do believe he didn't know at the time. I guess everything about the two accident babies came out later. It's very odd to me he didn't ask her more questions at the time of being pregnant, though.
I'm pretty comfortable around kids from a previous life of being a nanny and working daycare, but I agree with you. Three is a lot of kids from a failed marriage, all under eight, and I think I went in to this thing a little naive.
If you choose to stay with
If you choose to stay with him I think the both of you need to start discussing what your role in the kids’ lives would look like. Would he expect you to be like a mother to them, would he expect you to discipline them as if they were your own? Would he be on board with you having any say in the raising of the children?
Then you need to decide what type of involvement you are comfortable having with his kids, do you want more of a hands off, he raises his kids while they are there, you help him out if he asks, but discipline and all the harder decisions are left to him.
You also need to talk about personal boundaries and what you are okay with allowing his ex into your relationship. Do you expect him to deal with her on his own and leave you out of it, or are you willing to try to have a working relationship with her when it comes to him and the kids.
Think long and hard about what you want your life to look like in 10-15 years. Are you willing to potentially sacrifice having your own kids for a ready-made family that you aren’t sure you are on board with yet. Just because he says he wants more kids now, maybe he changes his mind once you are married and now you are stuck. Make sure if that’s a deal breaker for you he understands that.
You both really need to discuss what you view as parenting versus what he views as parenting and where you are willing to meet in the middle or agree to disagree. Also don’t allow him to gaslight you and tell you that since you aren’t a parent you don’t understand.
I'm jumping on this...
"Open to having more". Um. That sounds very non-committal to me. I think you should REALLY ask for more than that, if you are considering maintaining the relationship (sorry, but I whole-heartedly recommend you run like the wind in a hurricane). There is a lot of bait and switch with single dads.
Also. He has THREE. How is he going to feel if say, you start a college savings fund for your future child(ren)? What happens when they don't have one but yours does?
How about cars? Say you can afford one for yours, but he didn't buy all three of his cars.
The financial resources are going to be very lop-sided. Are you BOTH going to be ok with that?
How about your time with your new baby(ies). Imagine being home with your newborn on maternity leave. He has his kids for his custody time and now you are expected to watch his three while you are trying to learn to nurse, get some rest, and bond with your baby. But. You can't because they are acting naughty and you have to tend to them also. Your whole new mom experience will be ruined.
Run. Run like your life depends on it. Because, well, it does.
I've been concerned about
I've been concerned about these issues myself. I'm very determined to have my own family someday; even if I can't have my own I will adopt. I've talked about the having more kids thing a few times, not to pressure him, but to try to gauge how he really feels about the issue. He's never had a kid that was actually wanted or planned, so I think that idea appeals to him because that's a completely different experience, but I'm still worried he's just going along with all this because I've made it pretty clear that's a deal-breaker.
I would not ever want to direct my resentment on the stepkids for the mistakes their parents have made, but the reality is that they're nothing but a drain financially, physically, and emotionally on the current relationship and the life I want to build with him. And I'm worrid about if I can handle that if and when I have my own.
Trust your gut...
If you are worried he's going along with it only because it is a deal breaker for you, then that probably is the case. Even if he relents and you do have a shared child(ren), will he actually be a parent? He isn't to the ones he already has. My guess is you will be doing the majority of the work (or ALL of the work) and he will want the same for his kids...of course none of the effort, that will also be on you. And then you will get the guilt trips that his kids don't have the same.
If you are worried now, wondering if you can handle it... I think moving on and finding what you REALLY want in a relationship and family is what you should do. Don't settle! I promise there are more men out there.
I think you're right and I'm
I think you're right and I'm in the process of distancing myself from all this. I think I'm a logical person in general, but feelings do get involved, and it's been hard making this decision that it's probably not worth it for me. After all this, I don't understand how anyone dates a man or woman with kids and is happy; but everyone is different and I think some people's personalities are just better suited to that kind of life. I don't think I can do it, though. Thank you for sharing your opinion on this.
You seem to be thinking clearly
I think you hit on something in your post that often goes overlooked by a lot of the people on this site who end up miserable with their step-life: you don't really respect how this man handled his life before you met.
Who you date, who you marry, who you have kids with... it all says a lot about you as a person. And if the ex is trash and he chose to marry her, well... that says something. For the record, I think it's great that you are being honest about that rather than misdirecting all of that resentment to the kids, as happens here way too often.
I think there's a scenario where you could definitely raise your own child with him your own way, but I would have a lot of conversations about that beforehand. But you have to decide if you can deal with the ex and the kids and all that comes with it.
I was like you (child-free) and dated a single dad for about a year and a half. I knew I wasn't built to be a stepmom and deal with all of the baggage, so I broke it off and am so happy I did. In my opinion, it takes a very specific laid-back personality type to deal with taking on all of that baggage when you have none of your own.
I really appreciate you
I really appreciate you saying that. I've really tried to be brutally honest with myself and ask "is this the kids you don't like?" and I keep feeling like, for the most part, it's not. And my BF I truly think is a good person, but when he's around his kids he's a lot more stressful. He goes from one extreme to another, from helicoptoring and guilt-parenting to just giving up and letting them stare at a screen for eight hours.
I've been very confused and concerned about how he ended up like this with three unplanned kids. I've never really talked to a man who seemed so set that he only wanted maybe one with a person, and ended up in a failed marriage with three, none of whom were actually wanted. I think he loves his kids and does the best he can, but from my outsider perspective, it's still pretty obvious he does not enjoy being a father.
And it makes me stressed out to be around him when they're over.
Even if you have all the
Even if you have all the agreements in place about how to live together, the ex and skids will throw you a curveball you never saw coming. She could die and the skid move in , upsetting your carefully crafted life. The way he lived his life before takes over. Now you have exposed YOUR kids to a way of life you never planned on exposing them too. You will change into a person you never planned on becoming.
Think long and hard about this.
All Red Flags.
You must really take a good look at what's going on, He is still has something for the ex. It's ok to be jealous, nothing wrong with jealousy if it's warranted. You will never have the life you want with this BF. There will be no big wedding, No big honeymoon, No alone time.
And if he actually goes along with you haveing a us baby. There will be no us family, no bonding time. No money for baby things. No trips ( vacation) to Santa workshop, Because. It's because older kids don't want to go, they want rollercoster heaven.
leave the craziness , find a man who doesn't have kids. A man where everything doesn't have to be OK by the ex and his first kids. Find a man who will give what you want.
You see it already, believe what you see. This is real, this is how it will be.n. You will be sitting home paying for his first kids getting nothing out of it. This is why there boards are here. Believe the people on this board They are.Iiving, or have live it
I'm afraid you're probably
I'm afraid you're probably right about all of that. I have really been trying to absorb all the input given to me and really appreciate everyone's contribution. Thank you for your advice on this!
He will parent his next family progeny as he parents his failed
family progeny.
Find a partner who does not have baggage, and who has the same parenting ideas that you have.
Save yourself and save a lifetime of baggage intrusion, baggage driven disagreements, and baggage interferance in your life, your relationship, and the lives of your future children.
IMHO of course.
Good luck.
I think you're definitely
I think you're definitely right. In a way, it's kind of a nice heads-up to see how he's parenting now, as opposed to finding out after it's too late and I've had my own with him. Thank you for the advice.
I have to
I have to hop on the "leave and find a man with no kids" wagon. Im in my 50's and no bios.
If I could smack my 20-30 year old self upside the head I would.
If you know you want your own children...
BUT that being said - you should check out the different forums and blogs. Read through things and really consider where this is going.
Thank you for your input. I
Thank you for your input. I definitely want my own or, if for whatever reason I can't biologically, I'm definitely seeking adoption. Either way, step-kids aren't going to cut it. I have a lot to think about and am trying to do as much research as I can before major mistakes are made.
This sounds so familiar..
I have been in this situation, crazy bio mom and everything too. I stayed because he kept promising it would be ok, get better, wouldn't be that way etc and now we are married with one of our own and my concerns are not only realized but worse than ever. I don't trust my skids with my daughter and I have disengaged from skids due to the anxiety and the fact that I ended up taking the parent role. I have a really good man that I love but I would leave if I could go back for the sake of all of us
I appreciate you sharing your
I appreciate you sharing your experiences. This sounds exactly like what I'm going through and fearing in the future. I don't have kids with my BF but it's been talked about because I want them so much, but I just can't imagine ever wanting any of my children around the step-kids.
They're not monsters and I blame mostly the parenting (or lack of) on their behavior, but they're too immature, spoiled, and neurotic for me to ever want my children to be around for extended periods of time. And then I'd have to share space with these people for twenty years at least? It's terrifying.
My bf keeps saying the same things and I don't think it'll ever change, either.
Depressed dating a single dad? Don't do that.
STOP NOW!
Move on. Find someone without baggage. They are out there.
Take care of you.
Thank you. I'm slowly coming
Thank you. I'm slowly coming around to accepting that's what I need to do.
Slowly? Pick up the pace.