Bratty McBratFace Update: Tragedy and Texts
Its been peaceful in our middle-aged empty nest household. DH and I love our daily lives together.
But...some recent news regarding Bratty McBratFace (SD25). Tragic news, actually.
Our town is quiet suburb in SoCal. Normally very safe. Lots of families, good schools. Late last week news broke of a terrible crime. A young woman, 25, mother of two boys. Divorcing her husband and sharing an apartment with her sister, while attending school to become a therapist. Her sister came home on a weekday evening to an empty apartment with MUCH blood spattered everywhere. She called 911. A search was launched. Sadly, oer the weekend the police announced the dead body was found a couple of hours away and the ex-husband is under arrest for the murder of this lovely young woman. Very tragic and it has shaken our community.
The young woman was a high school friend of Bratty's. They had stayed friends and visited each other.
I didn't realize the connection until DH mentioned it.
After consideration, I texted Bratty (normally I am very very minimal contact). It turned into a short but genuine exchange where she was remembering her friend, and I was expressing condolences. That was all (certainly no asking for anything) - just grief over a tragic loss of a friend. And I don't want to make this loss about me at all - but I feel it was significant progress. We interacted as adults with neither wanting anything from the other, except just minor comfort for grief.
So - I do think Bratty is growing up. There is hope.
Again, not to take anything away for the tragedy that occurred, as this is not about me or steplife really. This young person had two little boys she's left behind that will have to become adults without her and probably thier 'father'. It breaks my heart.
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All too common
I was personally stunned by the real, immediate possibility of violence when I left my ex. The danger in these situations is VERY real.
I'm glad Bratty responded well.
Very real danger
I continue to be upset at the lack of protection for young, divorcing women in this country. Truly disturbing.
JRI, I am glad you remained safe. Thank you!
Happened Here Also
A beautiful 25 year old with 3 little boys. She was the sister of a friend of mine. That was a very difficult funeral. I'm sorry for that precious family in your town.
Really happy to hear the Bratty update. Growing up.
Epidemic
Unfortunately this type of news seems unacceptably commonplace. Sorry for your friends loss. Tragic and sad.
Yes I wasnt expecting Bratty to respond but she did. It was a genuinely human exchange. Gives some hope for us.
The culture of violence
The culture of violence against women.
Like when peeps on this site refer to women as whores, sluts, skanks, etc.
This is why it pisses me off.
Yep
I get the frustration with steplife but really sometimes these posts are awful. I can't even respond. I am grateful there are some truly strong ladies in here that do.
This country has a big
This country has a big unaddressed violence problem, especially violence against women and children. I am sorry this hit so close to home for your family and glad that your SD had a moment of clarity of what is important ... i.e. the family that will always be there for you. If this Mother had not been murdered then she probably would have been sentenced by FC to 18 years of "co-parenting" with this monster and then a lifetime of mopping up the trauma her kids were exposed to in childhood. (As many of us know Co-parenting with any abuser is not actually possible) Our government social systems are a lot more broken than most realize. These men walk right through restraining and court orders.
Agree
More safety and protection for women, especially divorcing women as that seems to be such a sensitive time.
It really piss me off. These 'men' (I put it in quotes, as they are really monsters in disguise). Makes me sick.
This 'man/monster' was a teacher. And showed literally zero indication of this level of violence. The level of blood found in this poor woman's apartment...SMH. It would have to have been a sustained level of attack. It just breaks my heart to even think of her suffering
Wow, that is so crazy.
Wow, that is so crazy. Usually these violent men have a concerning history a mile long but he sounds covert.
Very covert
A math teacher. The victim's family was shocked as well - they had no indication he could be this violent.
It really makes me despondent. How to protect these women at risk?
First and foremost!
They need to be listened to and taken seriously!
Most times when violence is reported they try brushing it off, particularly if the offender is current or former LE, military, doctor/dentist/nurse/medic/therapist, school teacher... anyone that is supposed to be "upstanding".
ETA: I saw this in the news and shook my head, knowing it probably could have been prevented.
Yeah
It was terrible. I still can't believe it. Which goes to your point if taking things seriously, even if it's a cop/teacher/doctor)rocket scientist/whatever.
Yes it's been in the local news, and also some national coverage too. So sad
My condolences to those who have had these tragic loss
events in their lives.
As a man, these types of events are not only infuriating, but heartbreaking.
Move on. There is no need to kill your mate. Regardless of what they may have done within or or beyond the context of the relationship. Barring self defense.
Rags, if there were a father in chief
In this country, if that were a title, I would vote for you.
Thank you:)
Terrible
Very sad. We need more protection and stronger laws against these horrific crimes.
Growing up violence against woman was expected. How sad that was to type this out and then re read. Time, laws and still nothing changes. Our society is so messed up.
Lets hope that stricter laws and enforcement is put in place.
Yeah
I hear you. We all want a better future, where women are safe. It is sad to still want that in the year 2022
We watched "Where the Crawdads Sing" last night.
A timely movie considering the topic of this thread.
A well made, well written movie. I will now read the book.
Thanks
Will need to watch that movie...not really DH's type of movie so will do so as a solo watch. Heard great things about it. Thanks Rags.
The book is even better than
The book is even better than the movie. Also a good listen on audible.
Thanks
Good to know as In looking for some reading material now
That is so incredibly sad for
That is so incredibly sad for her family and children.
There is never an excuse for violence like this, but did the news say that is was a contentious divorce and custody battle? I don't want to speak ill of a victim of violence but part of me wonders if this attack had to do with some of the insanity that we have either personally experienced or have read on here. Especially with the fact that there had never been a sign before.
I am glad that Bratty appears to be growing up and could have a conversation with you about the loss of an old friend and make it about the friend and memories, not herself or wanting something.
Not sure
The news didn't say. But still no reason for murder, as you said.
Yes it's a good sign for Bratty.
Absolutely no reason to
Absolutely no reason to attack your children's other parent, in anyway! As much as I would love to see BM's obituary, DH would never be the cause of that kind of pain to his son.
As a victim of domestic violence myself
I was told by my therapist "some one will die and someone else will be in jail", when I spoke of what was going on.
My abuser was held in high esteem in my community. Still is by some.
Very very sad.
Glad you got out
No one deserves to be murdered. Still very sad about this news.
But glad you're better now, cLove