There are loads of people who stay in marriages just for the kids, whether they be biological or step. That's why you see divorces when parents become empty nesters - there isn't really a marriage anymore, just a co-parenting relationship that was easier to maintain than divorce.
Now, whether people should or shouldn't stay is debatable. If there is toxicity and abuse, it's better to leave because that bleeds over into the kids. If there isn't, then it's a toss-up of what kind of example that can be set. Is it better for kids to live through divorce as kids or as adults? Is it better to see their parents remain married but loveless or divorced and having the chance at a new relationship or a way of life? Every parent has to weigh that, and I'd say it probably should be weighed with professional help.
Would I personally stay for kids? I don't know. I wouldn't just for my SKs. I've almost left before when DH had his head firmly implanted in his backside. As much as I care about my SKs, I've been divorced and lived through it. I can't worry about whether my SKs will be okay when my DH was the problem.
Now that I have one of my own on the way? Not sure what I'd do. I'd likely be more inclined to stay and try to make things work in some form or fashion. I am a COD, and while I think I did okay coming out of that (my issues are more related to my parents' parenting styles than the actual divorce), I know not everyone does. If it came down to my and my child's safety - be it physical, mental, or emotional - I'd GTFO. I lived through one mental mindf*ck marriage and I don't know that I'd do well trying to make a second work for the sake of kids. It's just not fair to them to have me be completely emotionally shattered.
Lots of people try to stay together.. for the kids.. for propriety's sake... divorce at one time was not as prevalent.. partially due to the stigma.. people stayed in toxic situations.. but today.. in the US.. I don't think that's quite as common.. but people still do try to stick it out.. obv.. kids with two parents in the home.. if they can not be totally toxic is better right?
but if it isn't healthy for the adults.. it usually is not healthy for the kids.
This type of marriage cannot possibly raise baggage free progeny. What parent curses their child with this kind of baggage that in all liklihood will be repeated in the child's adult life and then passed on to yet another generation?
Comments
Why stay for kids who are not
Why stay for kids who are not yours?
Even if they are, don't stay. Take the kids and leave a shit partner anyway. Kids, even their own, should not have to suffer the influence of toxic.
IMHO of course.
There are loads of people who
There are loads of people who stay in marriages just for the kids, whether they be biological or step. That's why you see divorces when parents become empty nesters - there isn't really a marriage anymore, just a co-parenting relationship that was easier to maintain than divorce.
Now, whether people should or shouldn't stay is debatable. If there is toxicity and abuse, it's better to leave because that bleeds over into the kids. If there isn't, then it's a toss-up of what kind of example that can be set. Is it better for kids to live through divorce as kids or as adults? Is it better to see their parents remain married but loveless or divorced and having the chance at a new relationship or a way of life? Every parent has to weigh that, and I'd say it probably should be weighed with professional help.
Would I personally stay for kids? I don't know. I wouldn't just for my SKs. I've almost left before when DH had his head firmly implanted in his backside. As much as I care about my SKs, I've been divorced and lived through it. I can't worry about whether my SKs will be okay when my DH was the problem.
Now that I have one of my own on the way? Not sure what I'd do. I'd likely be more inclined to stay and try to make things work in some form or fashion. I am a COD, and while I think I did okay coming out of that (my issues are more related to my parents' parenting styles than the actual divorce), I know not everyone does. If it came down to my and my child's safety - be it physical, mental, or emotional - I'd GTFO. I lived through one mental mindf*ck marriage and I don't know that I'd do well trying to make a second work for the sake of kids. It's just not fair to them to have me be completely emotionally shattered.
Lots of people try to stay
Lots of people try to stay together.. for the kids.. for propriety's sake... divorce at one time was not as prevalent.. partially due to the stigma.. people stayed in toxic situations.. but today.. in the US.. I don't think that's quite as common.. but people still do try to stick it out.. obv.. kids with two parents in the home.. if they can not be totally toxic is better right?
but if it isn't healthy for the adults.. it usually is not healthy for the kids.
Staying together for the kids is idiocy.
This type of marriage cannot possibly raise baggage free progeny. What parent curses their child with this kind of baggage that in all liklihood will be repeated in the child's adult life and then passed on to yet another generation?
A shit parent is the answer.
smh