What a day…No talk for DH with SD16
So I had multiple things going on this AM. Get my son to his last day of camp with all the stuff he needed, meeting with my boss and my DH was supposed to go talk to SD16. He came to bed the night prior and was all sorts of pissed off, said he didn't want to talk about it he was tired (I knew he had a rough night at work so I assumed it was related). I'm driving my son to camp and it's already 9am, which is the time DH was to meet SD. I don't want to get involved with their stuff but I messaged/called him because I know he would be disappointed if he overslept. My husband answers and tells me that BM texted him while at work the night before and said SD refuses to meet with him and doesn't want to see him. He simply replied'ok'....he is broken. He is sad. I am pissed because he doesn't deserve this. SD has blocked me on social media and my oldest daughter (she has hated her because she is 'girly girl' and that somehow bothers SD.
Any suggestions on how to help him cope with this? I'm sure it will eat at him for a long time. They are both super stubborn and want the other to tell them they want to see them but by trying to meet SD , DH was doing that. It's a no go. We will see what happens.
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Ye Olde Reunification Attempt
Chef tried to reunify with his PASed out ferals in early 2012. Mostly because he was insanely jealous of my youngest, Awesomeson, who had recently graduated AF basic with honors.
Result? The Animal Torturer (SD) at the time 13, stood him up twice. The HousesHitter (YSS) at the time 9, was a no show.
Pumpkinhead (OSS) was 15 yrs old then, showed for like 15 minutes, mostly to complain that kids were picking on him (all three were HUGE for their age and OSS had taken to wearing what could only be described as clown clothes to school) Chef gave Pumpkinhead his phone number and we never heard from any of them again.
I'm sure it still hurts and Chef is deep down bitter and disgusted that the scorched earth PAS campaign by the Girhippo CLan and his very own brother worked so well on his 3 ferals. They completely beer bonged the PAS koolaid even to this day. It took probably 7 years after that for Chef to completely wash his hands off them. An uphill climb. And it was miserable during those stages of grief.
Keep your chin up, be supportive, but don't be shocked if DH implies that you are to blame as is so common (least line of resistance) PAS targets often misplace blame to the SM. Just don't accept any misplaced blame.
From your past posts, he has
From your past posts, he has never held her accountable nor enforced any of the house rules. Does he understand that if she feels she doesn't have to see him if she doesn't want to it's due to his lack of parenting?
I have broached this with him
I have broached this with him. I told him you are supposed to see her Friday/sat, your days off. If you want her over-have her come over. She is 16 not 25. But currently he is just pouting a bit..I so want to help but at the same time I don't think I can. I listen, give advice or my opinion-which he usually recieves well..but I can't be the one to fix this even though I want to try. It's an odd dynamic.