Ex changing informal access arrangements
Hi looking for advice. My husband has had an informal arrangement with his ex for 6 years where they share custody of their child. Originally it was 3 nights a week, that increased to 4 nights a week around 12 months ago as that is what the kid wanted. She has now decided that he can only have them 2 nights a week and she is going to start claiming maintenance. That was never claimed before as access was pretty much 50/50. We believe she is reducing the days so she can claim more. We have offered mediation and going back to 3 nights but she has refused both options. She is being unreasonable and abusive too. He now wants to get a court ordered agreement so she can't change anything but he is worried that courts will favour the mother. Has anyone had a similar experience and can they let us know the outcome. Not bothered about the money or anything we just want to see the kids as we always have done. Also worried that if it's now 2 days the court will see us complying as agreement which is not the case! TIA
Get a lawyer and go to court and ask for 50/50.
Get a lawyer and go to court and ask for 50/50. Check your states guidlines on child support. If he hasn't been paying any, BM could go after him for the full amount since they separated - he needs to get it taken care of in court. Maintenence generally refers to alimony - were they married?
Does he have documentation of
Does he have documentation of the previous pattern of sharing? If not he is screwed
There are a lot of factors to
There are a lot of factors to consider in giving advice for your situation.
He needs a court order to stop her from switching. A court order is not the same a child support. One is visitation and one is child support. Yes, the calculation is based on how many nights a child sleeps in one house vs the other but other than that detail, the court views them as separate issues. Do you have proof that the kids were with him for 3 nights a week and it was a set schedule. Do you have anything from BM confirming that she was reducing the visitation for maintenance. All that can be used. IF he can prove they've been doing 3 days for a long period of time and it was originally agreed to by both parents and something that child asked for and did well during, then there's a high probablility he can get that back. He will still have to pay child support and the difference in one night isn't going to be much. Be prepared to provide proof that living in his household is what's in the best interst of the child. Show that he has been consistent in his time with the children and flexible when Bm needed more help.
"he is worried that courts
"he is worried that courts will favour the mother"
Has he considered the probability that if he doesn't take that risk, she will continue to impose what she wants until he doesn't see his kids at all? Yes, it's a gamble but isn't it worth taking?
PS
Someone once told me that it's a good idea to go into court asking for more than you actually want and compromise down to what you wanted. So, in your case, ask for 100% and negotiate down.