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Gray Rocking the SD

Merrigan's picture

Submitted by Merrigan on Thu, 07/07/2022 - 5:59pm

This is all an SO problem, but I feel like venting again.

Last time I saw my SO at his place with the SD's was almost two months ago, just after the garden party poop show. I was riding on a high of "why do I have to put up with this?" and decided not to give AF anymore. So I spent a couple of hours on a Saturday with SO and OSD. We went to a farmers market. This is what OSD (almost 18) said during this time.

Checking out a local winery stand, in front of the vendor: "OMG are you guys going to get DRUNK tonight?"  SO said that wasn't nice, I said nothing.

After buying ingredients for dinner:  "I want to make spaghetti tacos!  I saw it on YouTube - we need to make that tonight instead!"  My reaction:  "That's gross. No."  (We did not, and she refused to eat dinner).

During the car ride home:  "We need to plan our summer, Dad. I need to know if we're going to do a road trip or not, because I want to vlog about it. I've always wanted to do that. I'm gonna want the front seat, so sorry Merri, you can't come."  I said nothing, so she complained that I was ignoring her.

At home, she plunks herself down next to me on the couch:  "Watcha doin?"  I say, "just reading the news."  She says "ugh. Fine, I'm going to my room."

This was a GOOD day with her. Normal days, she's demanding and bossy. Bad days, she has screaming fits. I spoke to my SO the next day on the phone from my place, and he said she was mad that we went to the market instead of the mall, she was mad that we didn't make her YouTube tacos, she was mad that he and I wanted to go for a bike ride together, and she was mad that we walked the dogs together.  I chose to gray rock her and looks like it pissed her off.

In the last two months he's spent a lot of time with the girls without me there. He and I took a day and a half a few weeks ago to go to another city overnight and OSD lost her dang mind over it. He doesn't know what to do (ugh), but I'm gonna keep doing the only thing that seems to work.

Not be in her presence.  

 

Comments

Survivingstephell's picture

Submitted by Survivingstephell on Thu, 07/07/2022 - 6:54pm

I'm impressed! You did well considering who SD is.  Spaghetti tacos?  WTH!  Gross and messy.   Sounds like frat boy food.    
 

How is DH doing with SD? Has she broken him yet? 

shamds's picture

Submitted by shamds on Thu, 07/07/2022 - 7:47pm

Because she wants the front seat? 
if my husband had stayed silent through this i'd be pissed off

i've had my eldest sd answer me back disrespectfully regarding doing inappropriate stuff to my kids and when i told her no firmly, she was stupid enough to answer back with its ok i'll do it again to which i answered firmly with nooooooooooo and hubby automatically told them to cut it out, that what i say regarding our 2 young kids is what happens and no answering back

even had ss demand a holiday from my husband during our 4th wedding  anniversary weekend where only they would go. Apparently i and 2 toddlers were meant to stay home.

it didn't occur to my husband why I didn't want 3 feral skids (2 adults and 1 teen) at our wedding anniversary romantic weekend getaway ranting on about biomum & stepdad and making our special weekend about them

Stepdrama2020's picture

Submitted by Stepdrama2020 on Fri, 07/08/2022 - 8:52am

Dang I give you credit. My big mouth wouldve gotten the better of me and SD would be pissed until eternity.

"Yes SD we are going to get drunk tonight its the only way I can deal with your toxic presence"

Is your DH a coward when it comes to SD?  

SeeYouNever's picture

Submitted by SeeYouNever on Fri, 07/08/2022 - 10:33am

She sounds insanely annoying and very obvious in her attempts to exclude you and get daddy to herself. It's only going to get worse as she gets older and more savvy at doing this. 

Honestly it's so weird when teen girls get jealous of dad's GF or wife. Can't they focus on boys their own age rather than get jealous of daddeeee getting drunk with or going on a weekend trip with his GF. Sick.

ChiMom's picture

Submitted by ChiMom on Sat, 07/09/2022 - 5:31am

Grey rock for someone who is trying to get your goat is the best action. She is trying to get a rise from you and if you react, it feeds the monster. Dad needs to pick up for you more. She is well aware of what she is doing. Look up active disengagement. I had to do it with my teen SD. She is a whole other level. No matter what and assertive communication she would still twist my words. So I use BIFF statements (Brief Informative Friendly Firm) and don't engage with her unless absolutely necessary. She then complained I was "cold" towards her, and I'd rather be cold than being pooped on and be take. Advantage of. 
 

keep it up :)