BM neglecting SD17?
SD posted on social media that her she told her mom she was breaking out in hives, and that was yelled at over it!
Now SD is a liar, and when she cries her face swells up and gets red and blotchy, so it's more than likely what she was posting pictures about.
BUT when SD has NO allergic reaction to her SUPPOSED food allergy (sister made almond bark cookies SD ate a few of them, DH switched weekends and I made energy bite balls with chopped almonds, SD had one by mistake, I made a cake for my birthday that I switched regular milk for cashew milk and LATER realized cashew milk has almond milk in it) BM has a conniptionfit and accuses DH of being neglectful.... ALL the above incidents both me and DH apologize and explain that we will be more careful in the future, but that accidents happen, that's why we have an epi pen on hand.
Do I think SD told BM that she was having some sort of reaction, yes... Do I think BM yelled at her, yes, but do I think her picture was of her hives? absolutely not... I think it was her crying red blotchy face... SD was tested for allergies, and the doctor said that unless she was eating raw almonds she would not have a reaction, but she HAS eaten raw almonds, with my sister's almond bark cookies, with my energy ball bites, she HAS had raw almonds and not had a reaction...
BUT what I am struggling with in this situation is how could BM just yell at her if she feels like she's having some sort of allergic reaction, when she calls and harrasses us over something that has NEVER given SD an allergic reaction?
Well, you said yourself that
Well, you said yourself that SD is a liar, so maybe BM didn't yell at her. Maybe there's a lot more to the story than you know about. Maybe BM knew it wasn't an allergic reaction. Or maybe it's just that BM is a hypocrite, or knows that SD doesn't *really* have a severe allergy but figures it's something she can use to harass you and DH. I wouldn't give it much thought.
that doesn't fit the pattern,
that doesn't fit the pattern, we know BOTH of their patterns, BM is a hypocrite,100%, and LOVES to yell at DH and make him out as a horrible parent at ANY given chance, but she's also just an awfeul person/parent/thing of exsistence... but so is SD.... IMO I think SD probably wanted attention, probably was itchy, told her mom, her mom shooshed it off, and SD pushed the subject, and BM got tired of it and yelled at her, which in turn SD cried (SD is 17 but cries about EVERYTHING {I just think it's a manipulation tactic}) and SD took this oppurtunity to post a "pity me" picture on social media (her favorite past time). I scrolled by without commenting, or liking the picture, but I wanted to share it with ya'll so that yall can share in this hilarity that is soon to be an adult!
Was the hives incident
Was the hives incident connected to one of the exposures to possible allergens at you home?
I would have hoped that her DR did an actual allergen test on her to see where her sensitivities lie. AND.. it's entirely possible that while her allergy to almonds/tree nuts is a sensitivity that can vary in seriousness depending on the amount of the allergen consumed.. not every allergy will be triggered by a teaspoon of cashew milk that contains almonds.. or a bit of almond nut (were they really raw.. or were they roasted in processing?). But, maybe if she ate a handful of the almonds she would have a more severe reaction. And a mild reaction could involve a little blotchiness.. a slight amount of itching.. it doesn't need to involve full on throat closing.
I do wonder how there are these multiple exposures though.. Hopefully you don't take her apparent lack of obvious reactiion as a sign her allergy is "fake" if it has been confirmed by a DR.. it may just be that she hasn't had "enough" to trigger something serious.. I would treat the possibility as serious and avoid having allergens easily accessible.. and clearly labeled food that could contain it.
And.. sometimes people are mad at a situation. because they are afraid.. and that may have been her mother's reaction.. worried/angry.. angry she was exposed.. fearful of a serious reaction. or frustrated by her overplaying it?
Sd only RECENTLY was seen by
Sd only RECENTLY was seen by a dr for her allergies (and she still hasn't supplied and documents from the visit, so do i think this is true, only possibly)
Even though i don't believe sd i never intentionally expose her to the allergens. My sister made almond bark cookies (with chopped raw almonds) for a Thanksgiving day treat (1st Thanksgiving with sd, so she had no clue) Sd ate it with no reaction.
I made almond enegry bites (with raw chopped almonds) when i thought for SURE sd want going to be there, but DH switched weekends) sd had one with no reaction.
I made a cake with cashew milk (processed miniscule amount of almond) (thinking it was safe) sd had 2 peices then later when i pulled out the milk i saw it DID have almond in it, but sd had no reaction.
In each situation once we realized she was exposed we kept a close eye on her to watch for a reaction, ready with the epi pen close... but it was never needed, not even a slight itch or tingle.
BM also supposedly also allergic to almonds, so they wouldn't keep almonds around. But no according to sd BM just yelled at her and did nothing. BM is the kind of person to just lay around all day, she had a second child by her current husband, but makes sd raise him since she was 8. BM sleeps in while sd wakes him up, feeds him and gets him bathed and dressed for school
She's 17 she knows she has an
She's 17 she knows she has an allergy, she knows what an almond looks like...she should be checking or asking if she is unsure. BEFORE ANYBODY JUMPS DOWN MY THROAT. My BD16 has a peanut allergy, she checks labels and asks before eating anything she is unsure of...why? Because it's her allergy to manage, not the rest of the world around her. When she was younger we would tell people and let her school know. Now she's old enough to tell people herself and check for herself. If my BD is unsure or feels like it’s a possibility there might be a peanut item in a food she skips it and chooses another option.
Exactly! I agree, BM is weird
Exactly! I agree, BM is weird she's lazy and makes Sd17 raise her 2nd born child (from her current husband) but in all other ways babies her (sd doesn't even know how to store a credit card) Sd is honestly maturity wise more like a 12yo
Neglecting a 17yo is a hard one to prove.
17yos, in general, and completely capable of self care. SD's lies do not help her cause. BM knows the nut allergy is bullshit and only uses it to manipulate Daddy, and you.
Not something I would put one pico-second of thought into.
SD is a liar, both BM and SD are manipulators. If SD does not collapse in a fit in front of you with her face turning blue..... just step around her and get on with what you are doing. Her allergy is bullshit.
Take it off of the table and ignore the crap.
I'm thinking this as well.
I'm thinking this as well. BM knows it's all fake, because it's something SHE concocted. SD was 5 when i came into her life and I was told she had an almond allergy (at this point there was no reason to believe this other than BM supposedly had this allergy as had never eaten any nut at all at this point other than peanut butter, never been tested (until she was 17)). BM is a strange person who would think things like this make her child quirky. She probably told something this to "impress" them or to "relate"to them, but then she had to keep up with that lie *lol*
Those Allergy Tests can be
Those Allergy Tests can be interesting in the results they give you. I had an unexplained hives incident when I was in my mid 30's.. never allergic to anything in my life to that point. Well.. went to the allergist and got the test of a thousand cuts... and while I turned out to not have allergies to what I would have suspected.. shrimp, horse dander or mildew (I was brushing my horse in my damp barn after eating shrimp when it h appened). The only things that showed any reaction were avocados and black tea. Which is super weird.. because I love avocados.. eat them all the time with no ill effects.. but have always disliked tea.. iced or otherwise.. always had a kind of astringent feel on my tongue.. that made my mouth feel "squeaky".. just didn't like it. So.. here were two things that I reacted to.. one I loved.. one I hated.. and no explanation for the episode with hives..lol.
So.. i don't doubt that she got a test and her DR told her she had a "sensitivity" to almonds.. that she has dramatized into a life threatening allergy.. like me.. I apparently can eat avocados with no issues.. maybe if I ate 12 it would be a problem? who knows.. I have never eaten that much GUAC.