I missed you guys. I had to take a break as real life got very terrible very quickly

Starting with the sweet- the kids and I have an amazing bond. I'm no longer truly hurt or bothered by their mothers buffoonery so I don't resent them. The only issue we have is the kids will forget manners which my husband are a united front. If SD6 needs the wifi password ( for the 8th time), dessert etc if she doesn't say please she gets sarcastic answers which now she understands she needs to ask politely. Eldest crossed that bridge long ago.

A few months ago my husband noticed my depression ( we'll get into that) and agreed to a pet. Unfortunately my husband is not a cat person and our condo is too small for a dog ( we are both people that like big dogs) so we ended up with my ferret who is my pride and joy. I come home during lunch to play with him and his kisses make the anxiety melt away. The kids love their little silly wriggly brother and enjoy playing with him. They even understand when they are sick he can't be played with ( ferrets get human diseases - no joke)

So the sad part -my mother had a stroke nearly a year ago and whether it's just natural deteriorating or neglect from her old  rehabilitation facility she developed sepsis, kidney failure, and dementia. It's heart breaking and I don't know when I can come home and see her. Part of me doesn't want to for my own mental health and the cost of going out of work to see her and then come back for memorial services. My sister is a saint for not blaming me or guilting me but how this could happen to someone so kind. robust , and for all this honestly young ( she's only about 62). 

Sorry for the rant. Missed you all and always lurk. I know the next time I post won't be as happy. My stepkids never met my mother due to distance but she always sent them gifts so they "know" her. I will not bring them up for the funeral but this will likely be the first time they understand grief.