SS is creeping me out. Am i the only one?
Has anyone else experienced creepy behavior with their stepson? I discussed in the past how he would basically sneak up on me and grope me inappropriately, but i've since put a stop to that. But there are still lots of behaviors i find a little disturbing. I don't have bio kids, so moms can you please tell me if this is normal kid stuff? Firstly he always tries to be as sneaky as possible when he enters a room i'm in. He peeks at me around doors and around corners and just stands there staring at me as though i can't see him. I put a door sweep on his bedroom door because i could see him laying on the floor looking under the door at me. I put frosted window film on his bedroom windows because he used to watch me doing yard stuff. When he first moved in with us fulltime (around 12) he would pace almost military style up and down our driveway with a cold look on his face for the entire 35 minutes til the bus came. That is literally the most physical activity i've ever seen him do. He did this every single morning for nearly a year until one day i asked him to please stop doing that because i can't imagine what the neighbors were thinking. Today i asked him how school was and he told me (very coldly) that his favorite part of the day was getting to slit the throat of a chicken in class. When he was 5 or 6 he told me out of nowhere " I have a very dark side, you just don't know it". He's very polite when speaking to me but it's not enjoyable because he's very manipulative and i've seen the real side of him more than a few times. I find it strange that he's almost putting on a good boy performance everytime he speaks to me. I used to think it was because he respected me and i was his primary disciplinarian but now as he's getting older it's just getting disturbing. When his grandmother is around ( she is one of my biggest thorns in my blended relationship) he gets very confident and he even speaks more relaxed and brazen. I do literally everything for him, it's as though i am a single parent because my husband spends zero time with him, even though i used to beg him to. So i'm not sure why this child acts so weird around me. It's causing me to treat him differently than i would like to. At this point i feel like i live with the creepy neighbor you're forced to make small talk with when checking your mailbox. Am i overreacting???
Nope nope nope. I'll be
Nope nope nope. I'll be damned if I live in a home where I'm stalked and feel uncomfortable.
I mean this sincerely - I'd move out. If I'm so creeped out by a person living in my home that I have to frost my windows to weed my garden in comfort, I'm out.
This will creep me out too
No way this is normal..How old is your SS now?
Kid sounds like he has issues!
15
He's 15 and stands rather tall
high school class?
Yikes! An answer like that, to me, indicates severe disturbance.
Is he in counseling? If Dad refuses to get him counseling, move out before he decides that he needs to make his throat cutting fantasy real. (And since you don't have chickens.....)
And him telling stepmum at age 5/6
That he has a very dark side, that shit aint normal. That kid would be out of our home. Your partner/husband needs to ensure your comfort and safety and he isn't with his kid living in your home
I haven't seen my DH's son in
I haven't seen my DH's son in 3 years but was around him from ages 9-13. I'd be surprised if he makes it through life without molesting or raping or killing someone.
He went through a short period of trying to grope his younger sisters and practically beg them to fondle him when he was 10. He exhibits alot of schizophrenic traits including being delusional, hallucinations, grandiose....and massive narcissism. He's supposed to be taking an antipsychotic medication. He would talk about wanting to be a serial killer and tell his sisters how he was going to kill them. All dogs including mine should be killed except for his mom's dog.
I could go on and on about his weird and psychotic thought process but I'd like to just block it out. I seem to be the only person in the family that didn't find him to be cute.
Please read your post. What
Please read your post. What would you tell a friend or even a stranger? You are in a dysfunctional and dangerous situation. You posted about SS almost 2 years ago. Why are you still there???
I'm ashamed to say this
But i'm waiting it out. I have 3 years left then i can help him find an apartment and move out. I'm looking forward to that life with my husband and i feel like i've put too much in to give up when i'm this close
It really never ends.
Out or not. It is still your DH's spawn. It turning 18 will not fix your SOs abject parental failures. The kid will will always be a part of your life and marriage. Particularly when considering how your partner has failed to parent so far with a slim to zero chance of improving.
Girlfriend, Please Re-Think This!
I was in that same Survival Mentality... but it does not end at 18.
Not for this kind. I am sad for you. Your spirit sounds crushed & your brain has seemingly magical thinking that Magic #18 will set you free to enjoy a Happily-Ever-After marriage.
https://thedecisionlab.com/biases/the-sunk-cost-fallacy/
(((HUGS)))
Great point and article. Thanks for sharing.
Sadly many SParents are arguably the poster children for a never ending investment of effort in a lost cause.
In business there may be some return on a sunk cost continued investment decision even if the investment will never be fully recovered by the performance of the revenue the invesment may generate. In that case, it may be better, as an example, to spend another $100K on top of an already sunk $1Mil and recover $800K than to take the $1Mil loss in already sunk cost.
In lost cause relationships, there is zero value in continueing to go down the sunk cost path.
Thank you for sharing StepUltimate.
Agree with all the above.
Agree with all the above. This is beyond creepy! I'd be scared he is plotting a sick fantasy of my murder if I had a SS like that. The fact your DH has zero to do with being his parent is reason enough to leave, let alone putting up with sadistic behaviour like this. Please stay safe!
Don't wait around ...
... to see how much damage he can do in 3 years.
GTFO yesterday.