SS has a diagnosis and HCBM never told DH?
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So we just got the therapist notes that were subpoenaed from the kid's therapist. This particular one is several years old but under diagnosis is states "oppositional defiant disorder"
HCBM never told DH this??? We are both completely confused! She started him in therapy and went the first couple months to get him going and theb DH went big nobody told him this. But then im thinking well I think therapists have to put something for insurance purposes on paperwork so maybe he just put that since SS was having some anger outburst and trouble at school?? However, he definitely does display many of the symptoms. Not sure what to think!
I'm no therapist but i do
I'm no therapist but i do work in healthcare. ODD isn't something that any reputable provider would code for or diagnose lightly. If they feel they "have to put something down", it isn't ODD. Kids with ODD are miserable to be in charge of (as a parent, teacher, etc.) If being around him makes you miserable even though you previously thought "I like kids. I'm pretty good with kids.", but now you find yourself questioning your whole life, chances are the diagnosis is accurate.
Wow!!! So he is very
Wow!!! So he is very difficult. VERY sore loser, take no responsibility for anything and blames others for everything. He cheats on games and when people call him out he rages and cries. The weird thing though is other than his outbursts he is quiet. Like...oddly quiet. Wondering now if he's plotting to kill us. Lol!!! I'm kidding but...yikes!
I am a child therapist and
I am a child therapist and she is correct. We do not give this diagnosis lightly. It's not just normal teen arguments as many think, it's a pattern in all areas of being argumentative, vindictive, and refusing to follow rules or directions. ODD kids are very challenging to work with.
We do need to diagnose for insurance, but if the kid doesn't have a ton of symptoms, we give something like "adjustment disorder with disturbance on emotions and conduct" to explain minor ODD symptoms.
Does your SS have this behavior at school? If not, he doesn't have ODD. My SS did a lot of what you said, but I don't think he had ODD. I think he was insecure and being psychologically abused by BM, as well as being caught in a high conflict divorce. Your BM is crazy. She's going to mess up her kids. But she will present as wonderful to therapists, so unless they see her contribution to the problem, they will diagnose something like ODD.
I find the never ending
I find the never ending syndrome of the moment drives a lack of credibility into much of the behavioral "health" industry. And yes, it is an industry that has to create product to classify victims to drive revenue.
Good ones are priceless. Though IMHO good ones are few and far between..
Mostly, in my layman's opinion, it is mostly just letting shitty parents pay for an excuse to justify them being.... shitty parents.
Funny how there have always been difficult kids, but only when making excuses for shitty parents became an industry were they not controlled by their parents. The excuse movement for shitty parents has cost generations of kids an opportunity to be viable adults. Now parents plant their kids in front of idiot boxes to use someone else's imagination rather than their own, no more putting kids out the door in the AM to go on self directed adventures in the neighborhood to come home dirty, worn out, and full of stories at dinner time. Now, we have "here honey, have a controller". Followed by verbally assaulting teachers for the shit product parents are feeding into the schools. Parents all upset that their spe-cial crotch turds are not getting things handed to them and their failed breeding refuse has to be passed by presence rather than by merit. If I were a teacher I would have the rules posted in large print at the head of the class and every time a kid violated the rules they would be immediately failed for the semester, would pack their shit and GTF out of my classroom so I could focus on the progeny of quality parents. I know, I would not remain employed as a teacher for long. At least not in public schools. Maybe Military School where accountability for ones performance is the primary lesson plan.
Meh. Bring back the Principal and Coaches roaming the halls with a paddle over their shoulder to light up the asses of ill behaved shit kids.
Grrrrr!
As far as BM withholding Dx from your DH on his kid, nope. Time to smack her in the nose with a court action IMHO. That "therapist" should also be sensured by the State board for failing to notify the parent of the Dx. The onus should be in the professional therapist to inform both parents. IMHO.