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Am I to critical?

Left out mama's picture

Submitted by Left out mama on Fri, 11/12/2021 - 2:03pm

I'm not sure if I need to vent or am looking for advice.

but let me state first that I have no bio children, so I have nothing to compare my SD behaviors to.

my SD10 has some really weird behavior ( in my opinion)

she is an extrovert, but she seems very socially awkward and has no idea how awkward she is.

She sings constantly. Not just singing songs, I  means she will sing whatever random words are in her head. Ans she will sing loudly. She doesn't realize how loud she is. And she will "dance"

she thinks she is either a graceful ballerina or an amazing hip hop dancer depending on what she's trying to do.

the thing is though, she has ZERO skill and no spacial or body awareness. She just kind of flails around like a fish flopping on land. When ever anyone says anything, negative or positive she amps it up a level. She knows it's getting her attention. But she doesn't seem to realize what people actually think of her when she does this. (I'm not just talking about my reaction. It's other family and at school).

when someone tries to tell her she needs to clamp down or stop the behavior because it's not appropriate, she sees it as a standing ovation and demand for an encore.

It get frustrated because she looks and sounds ridiculous, but she seems to think there is nothing wrong with her behavior. Meanwhile she is losing friends because they see her as "annoying". They have told her this. But no matter how much they explain it, she doesn't understand why her behavior bothers other people and she continues to do it. 
Is this a normal stage kids go through? And any advice? 
I don't want her to lose friends and frankly I'm embarrassed for her when she acts like this. Even if it's  only around family, she has no idea how she is coming across. It's like she's in a fantasy world where she's a Disney princess in musical. 

 

 

 

Comments

Evil4's picture

Submitted by Evil4 on Fri, 11/12/2021 - 2:10pm

It's normal for coddled SKs who are parented by guilty parents. Normally parented kids get told to knock that shit off.

If a grown-up around a normally parented kid says anything about the attention whoring, the person doesn't get gaslighted by a guilty overly protective Disneyland dad. 

Unfortunately, unless your SD has a parent who is willing to call her out on her attention-whoring, it'll never stop. You can quote me on that. I have a 32 year old off the charts attention whore of an SD and she has gotten craftier about her attention whoring. My SD did exactly what yours is doing now. 

ndc's picture

Submitted by ndc on Fri, 11/12/2021 - 2:13pm

I have no advice, but I'll tell you it's not normal behavior.  My SD9 will sing and dance in situations where it seems natural to do so, but not otherwise.  She is also very attuned to what people think of her and tries to avoid doing things her peers find annoying.  She doesn't care so much if she annoys family.

notarelative's picture

Submitted by notarelative on Fri, 11/12/2021 - 2:43pm

She's 10 -- fifth grade. At that time kids start becoming less tolerant of this behavior. (...she is losing friends because they see her as "annoying". They have told her this. ) 

If SD is truly socially clueless, she may need some type of social skill counseling. Some schools have this type of group. In other places you need to look for private services. For the lack of spacial awareness, if it's severe her pediatrician may be able to prescribe appropriate therapy.

In any case, her parents need to parent her. They need to realize that letting her exhibit three year old behavior at age 10 is doing her no favors. They are currently encouraging her to become a maladjusted teen and adult.

 

WwCorgi7's picture

Submitted by WwCorgi7 on Fri, 11/12/2021 - 3:45pm

What do her actual parents have to say about it? Do they tell her to knock it off or do they cheer on their special snowflake? It could be that she was put on a pedestal and thinks she is the star of the show by how she has been raised and it is now her nature. Or it could be that she doesn't get a lot of attention and does whatever she can to get it.

My SD was like this. She barely got any attention from BM and when we had her on our weekend she would act out, behave in an inappropriate adult manner, and do some very embarrassing things. She just grew up being loud and in the way because then people had to pay attention. Dh pumped the brakes on her behavior and then she would pout and not speak to us.

 My nephew however, has both his parents together, gets plenty of attention, and he is so annoying! He is loud, obnoxious and just thinks he is the star of the show. He was put on a pedestal and everything he did was "hilarious", everything he did was "amazing", he was so "gifted", a true "wild child". In reality he is just a brat that acts up, is in everyone's face, and has no respect for personal space (he literally climbs on top of people). He ruined a wedding because he repeatedly got the mic from the dj and would yell and sing throughout the reception.The bride tried to laugh it off at first but soon everyone was annoyed except his parents. He doesn't have manners but this is the result of being treated like a special snowflake.