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Animal Torturer (SD stb 23) Posts Her Resume on LinkedIn

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Thu, 11/04/2021 - 11:02am

Disclaimer:  this is purely for entertainment value only; if you are easily offended by standards, then this is not the post for you.  And yes, no one takes Linkedin that seriously.

Experience:

March 2020- present:  My duties for DoorDash is to pick up customer's food orders from the restaurant, and deliver they're food.

Dec 2018-Feb 2020  1 yr 3 mos   My duties at {popular brand name} furniture was to sell to customer's, meet weekly and monthly sales goals, order customer's furniture, schedule customer's deliverie's, anwsering phone calls.

Nov 2018-Dec 2019 1 yr 2 mos.  My duties at {misspelled furniture store} furniture was to sell to customer's, anwser sales calls, meet monthly and weekly sales goals, open and close the store, order customer's furniture, schedule customer's furniture deliveries, take messages for my boss.

Education:

(Local Community College)

2017-2021  (???  she dropped out after six weeks)

 

Skills and Endorsements:

Writing

Communication

Problem Solving

 

Comments

caninelover's picture

Submitted by caninelover on Thu, 11/04/2021 - 1:45pm

ROFL!

bearcub25's picture

Submitted by bearcub25 on Thu, 11/04/2021 - 11:30am

I have been trying to hire a Network Person for weeks.  I swear I see resumes like this for an IT job with a state facility.

caninelover's picture

Submitted by caninelover on Thu, 11/04/2021 - 1:47pm

This is true.  I have a position I've been recruiting for.  Spell check, people!

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Thu, 11/04/2021 - 11:40am

Sadly... I am so desperate I might even hire her right now. This isn't anywhere near the worst I have seen. Lord help us all! 

Thumper's picture

Submitted by Thumper on Thu, 11/04/2021 - 12:41pm

Oyyyy veyyyy. Bless her heart.

Bm Titled herself as an entrepreneur on that site.  Odd choice of words considering what she was REALLY doing.  I guess she can spin her life anyway she wants to. It seemed to work out well for her. 

 

 

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Thu, 11/04/2021 - 1:07pm

this is sad because everyone is desperate for workers, and everyone is hiring.

At least she has a job! Unlike SD22 Feral Forger...

Merry's picture

Submitted by Merry on Thu, 11/04/2021 - 1:42pm

Writing? Communication? Yikes.

Not everyone has to have great skills in spelling and grammar. But a little self-knowledge would sure help her go in the right direction.

bananaseedo's picture

Submitted by bananaseedo on Thu, 11/04/2021 - 2:23pm

I'll say Linkedin is likely the most respected job site out there, it's an amazing networking site - if it weren't for me joining it and having mine cleaned up with help of my resume writers, wouldn't have gotten the job interviews and offer. 

She obviously doesn't know how to use it, hopefully, someone helps her 'writing' out lol  

TheAccidentalSM's picture

Submitted by TheAccidentalSM on Fri, 11/05/2021 - 6:30am

As yet none have been a perfect fit, but the roles were solid and I have met some decent headhunters too.

But dear dawg, how does someone go to school k-12 and have learnt so little?  And have no insight into their failings.  Example - I know I'm not great at spelling and proof reading therefore I get someone else to double check my resume/LinkedIn/etc.  And I use all the modern tools out there that do auto correction.  

StepUltimate's picture

Submitted by StepUltimate on Fri, 11/05/2021 - 10:43pm

I agree; got current & prior jobs when I reached out to connections via LI. Might be happening again soon... Biggrin

bananaseedo's picture

Submitted by bananaseedo on Sat, 11/06/2021 - 10:31am

I found most of the job sites useless, like ZipRecruiter or local ones...Indeed is a tad better but more for entry level or lower paying jobs.  I did invest in a company to spruce my resume and help w/my linkedin page.  Their advice for LinkedIn 'homework' was really good.